Copyright  Summer 2000  Cassatt

Commander Chakotay walked into the mess hall to find Neelix intently studying the table top where he sat. He could see small pieces of something there but had no idea what in the world Neelix was doing. Approaching the table Chakotay saw him pick up one of the pieces and put it next to another then give a sigh of satisfaction.

"What's that Neelix?"

The Talaxian looked up with a big grin on his face. "Good evening Commander! I'm putting together what Tom calls a 'jig-saw-puzzle', another toy from the 21st century. It is crude but remarkably entrancing. You see, the object is to form a picture with just these little pieces. No two are the same so you have to find the right ones to fit together. It is fascinating!"

"How do you know what the picture is supposed to look like?"

"Well, that's the fun part. Originally, the pieces would come in a box with the picture on the front, but Tom wanted to make this a 24th century challenge. So no picture. I do know it's only about 60 centimeters square but that's all. Tom said if I get really stuck, he'll give me a hint."

"What's going to happen when people come in for breakfast if you're not done?"

"I thought I would just leave it here and then people can work on it if they want. Care to try?"

"I was just coming in for a piece of fruit before I turn in." Chakotay watched Neelix studying the pieces, intrigued in spite of himself. "How do you find the right piece?"

"You see these four nubby things sticking out? Those are supposed to fit into pieces shaped like this - see the holes? You just study the shapes and the colors and soon you get the hang of it. Sit - try it!"

Chakotay sat down and began to follow Neelix's lead, looking for similar colors and shapes. He found it wasn't quite as difficult as it looked and soon he found a match. He got great satisfaction from putting the two pieces together, they slid into each other smoothly, not like the other ones he had tried. He smiled.

"See, Commander, it is actually satisfying, isn't it?" Neelix was smiling at the gentle man. Chakotay met his twinkling eyes.

"Actually, Neelix, it is. I'm surprised. I'll be right back, I'm just going to get that piece of fruit. Then do you mind if I sit and work on this for awhile with you?"

"Not at all, I'd love the company."

So eating his fruit, Chakotay stayed with Neelix for another half hour putting more pieces together. By that time, they had formed the border and could see how big it would be. They gave each other the high five when it was completed, very proud of themselves. Now they could see where some of the colors were meant to be.

Harry came in, looking for a snack as well. He joined them at the table having heard from Tom all about the game he had given Neelix. He was surprised to see Commander Chakotay sitting there, chatting amiably, obviously enjoying the game as well.

"Good evening, Neelix, Commander."

"Hi Harry, care to join us?" Chakotay grinned.

"Well, Tom told me all about this, and frankly it sounded boring. You two look as though it's actually fun."

"Oh, Harry, you have no idea! I can't wait to tell Tom in the morning. Putting this together is fascinating!" Neelix beamed.

Harry sat for a few minutes looking over what they had done. They told him how it worked. He saw a piece of yellow that might go in the corner nearest his seat, so he tentatively tried it and was surprised when it fit. He gave a sigh of satisfaction. Chakotay looked at Neelix and winked and Neelix stifled a chuckle in response.

"Well, I need to get some sleep tonight, so I'll see you two gentleman in the morning. Neelix, good luck, perhaps there will be some left tomorrow I can help with while I eat breakfast?" Chakotay rose to go.

"Thanks for the help, Commander! I'm sure there will be something left to do. And perhaps we'll see the picture soon. Good night!"

"Good night, thanks for the fun. Harry?"

Harry was trying another piece, startled by the sound of his name. "Hm-m?"

Chakotay chuckled. "Have a good time, Harry." He patted him on the shoulder, turned and left.

"Good night Commander!" He heard over his shoulder. He held up his hand in response.

The next morning found the mess hall a little disorganized. As Chakotay walked in he was surprised to see the 'puzzle table' had a small crowd of about 15 crewmembers around it. He looked toward the galley and met Neelix' eyes and waved. Neelix winked at him, grinning from ear to ear, pointing to the puzzle. Chakotay nodded and headed to it.

"No, Tom, I think that's supposed to be a bear!" B'Elanna punched her lover in the arm.

"B'El, I've seen the box, it's not a bear."

Harry piped in. "It doesn't look like a bear to me, I think it's going to be a cow. See the meadow? I bet that will be a barn over there."

"Listen, Harry, when the hell have you ever seen a barn? I don't think they had them in Monterey..." B'Elanna glared at him.

"I had relatives who were farmers at one point, up north a bit. Petaluma area. I've seen a barn."

"Well, you all, just wait until it's finished, that's all I'll say." Tom smiled and rose. He noticed Chakotay standing on the edge of the group. "Commander, I heard you had fun doing this last night."

"Absolutely, Tom. I'd like to try my hand at another once this is finished. It looks like Neelix and Harry got pretty far last night. Or is it all from this morning?"

Harry smiled at Chakotay. "I hate to say it but Neelix and I stayed up sort of late working on it. This morning, however, B'Elanna has been giving it a go, along with more of her engineering buddies. Ensign Nicoletti has hidden talents for picking out colors, I hear." He grinned.

Nicoletti blushed, in spite of herself. "I had some art background, that's all."

Chakotay leaned over to look more closely. "Well, it looks to be almost half done. But I believe alpha duty shift starts in about 15 so those of you who haven't eaten, perhaps it would be good to head in that direction?" He smiled, but broke no argument from his crew. About two thirds of the people laughed quietly and walked to the counter. He followed them. After eating his breakfast quickly he stopped at the puzzle and managed to get in a few more pieces before hurrying to the bridge. He thought Harry was right about the barn.

"Good morning Commander." Captain Janeway smiled at her first officer as he dashed to his seat. "Running late occasionally is okay with me."

"Good morning, Captain. I apologize. Had to find a piece of tree that's all." He turned to Harry at Ops. "Harry - I think you might be right about the barn."

Harry nodded seriously. "I do, too. No matter what a certain half-Klingon engineer says. She may know warp drives, but she doesn't know barns..."

Tom turned around. "Are you two about to say something negative about the woman I love?"

Chakotay laughed. "You must be kidding Tom. I know perfectly well what B'Elanna would do to me if she ever heard a disparaging remark come out of my mouth about her. Aside from eating one of my internal organs for breakfast, she would never speak to me again. I wouldn't risk that, bear or barn."

The Captain watched this exchange, mystified. Suddenly Chakotay and her crew were talking in tongues.

"Would anyone care to enlighten the Captain as to what the hell you all are talking about?"

Chakotay turned to her. "Sorry, Captain. Your crew has found a new form of entertainment. Tom gave Neelix a 21st century game, called a jig-saw-puzzle. He started it in the mess hall and everyone has been helping. I myself had quite a good time with it last night."

"A jig-saw-puzzle, huh? I'm afraid I don't know what that is."

"Well, stop by the mess hall at lunch and I'll show you how it works."

She smiled broadly at him. "You have a date."

Chakotay grinned in response. "Thank you Kathryn, I look forward to it."

Cheeky man, she chuckled inside.

Lunch time rolled around and Tuvok agreed to take the bridge. Kathryn had been looking forward to this for at least an hour. She was no longer content to feel left out from crew happenings - that was what she was looking forward to, she was sure. Not the prospect of learning something new from her devilishly handsome first officer who was already in the mess hall. She hurried off the bridge. And was surprised at the sight to greet her arriving for lunch.

Half of her senior staff were huddled around a table, studying the tabletop intently. Along with 3 or 4 other crewmembers. Then one would reach across the table and grab something, put it carefully down in front of them and call triumphantly. In between this was constant chatting, occasional laughing. She suddenly felt someone touch her arm. She turned to greet the beaming face of Neelix.

"Hello Captain. Can I get you some lunch, or have you come to work on the puzzle?"

"Work on it? I confess I don't understand anything of what's going on here."

"Well, I have a moment, would you like me to show you?"

"No! I mean, I believe the Commander is planning on giving me my lesson." She blushed slightly, looking at the table. Thankfully, Chakotay met her eyes and waved her over.

"I'm sure he will be a much better teacher than I will." Neelix smiled enigmatically. "Would you like me to bring you over something to eat?"

She looked at him for a moment. "Yes, thank you Neelix. I would love some lunch."

"I'll be right over."

"Hi Captain" greeted her ears, though hardly anyone looked up who said it. Chakotay, however, smiled sweetly at her and got up to give her his chair.

"No, Chakotay, that's not necessary."

"You need to sit in order to see what to do, I'll just stand behind you for awhile."

She sat and looked at the tabletop. A picture made of many many pieces was being formed. There was a meadow, and the much discussed barn which she recognized right off, and an animal that one could assume was a cow, but didn't look right. More animals, some trees a few more buildings which were barely distinguishable. Looked like a farm to her, Indiana girl that she was.

"Looks like home." She said.

At that, some people looked up. "Captain? You can recognize this scene?"

"Absolutely. It's a farm. Just like the ones I grew up near. But how do you pick out the right pieces?"

Chakotay leaned over her shoulder and explained the shapes and how they fit together, reaching out and taking one of the already fit pieces out to let her see how it felt when the fit was right. She couldn't help but notice how good he smelled, something she was always aware of, but the close proximity of him was overwhelming her olfactory senses. He handed the piece to her, his arm touching hers and she felt herself blush. Get a grip, Kathryn! She screamed at herself.

She took the piece from him and put it back where he had gotten it, getting the feel of how they fit together.

"See, Captain, just like they were meant to be joined." Chakotay spoke softly to her. Her mind started wandering to completely non-appropriate images. God, what is wrong with me...this is Chakotay for pete's sake... She took a deep breath, hopefully not too noticeable.

"Thank you Chakotay. This looks a little difficult, though."

"No, honestly, it isn't. Takes some studying the details of each piece, but it is immensely satisfying when you find the right one. Not to mention seeing the picture take form."

"Remind you of your sand paintings?"

"I guess in a way it does. And it's harder than apparently people in the 21st century had it. Tom has deliberately kept a copy of the picture away from us. I helped Neelix get it started last night, doing the border. It was actually very challenging! Very fun." She looked up at him, seeing his deep brown eyes sparkling. She loved to see him like this.

"Get another chair, Chakotay, sit here. We can make room, right everyone?"

Amidst a chorus of affirmative responses and chairs scooting, room was made next to the Captain for the Commander to rejoin the fun. Neelix brought her some food, she relaxed while she ate, enjoying being next to Chakotay, listening to the banter, partaking in some of it, watching him enjoy himself. He was good at this, she could tell. She tried to find a few pieces visually while she finished her food. Suddenly she thought she had one. She reached out and grabbed it and yes! It fit. They were right, it felt very satisfying! She grinned.

"Congratulations, Captain! Your first fit." Harry was smiling at her.

"Thank you Harry. I can see why you all are getting hooked on this."

"It is a bit addicting. I confess I lost some sleep last night as Neelix and I worked too late. What's driving me the most crazy is this big animal here. It looks kind of like a cow, but something's not right still."

"It's no bear, though!" Ensign Nicoletti chuckled.

"Hey, watch it Nicoletti, or you'll be working night shift..." B'Elanna growled.

"No offense, Lieutenant! Really, I can see how you'd think it was a bear." She still grinned though. B'Elanna stared at her, then relented, chuckling along with her.

"Well, what do I know about farms? I'm gonna make Tom give us a puzzle with an image of a space station next time, then I'll show you..."

Kathryn was pondering the animal in question. "You know, it could be a bull. It wasn't common to have a bull this close to the barn, but who knows how old this image is. Harry, keep an eye out for a nose with a ring, and some horns. Then we'll know for sure."

"That must be why you're the Captain." Chakotay said to her. "You always have the answers."

"That was a good save, Chakotay, I thought you were going to make some comment about me knowing bull..." She grinned at him.

"Kathryn! I would never have even thought that, much less say that especially in front of our crew." He was trying to look hurt, but she saw the twinkle in his eye.

"Oh, don't go pouting on me, I can never control myself when you start that!" She poked him in the side, chuckling.

He pointed his fingers directly at her side. "Kathryn, you'd best be careful what you start... If you know what I mean." He looked at her from beneath his brow. She dared him with dancing eyes and thought about her options...

They suddenly realized that the entire table was quiet, watching them. They smiled at each other then turned to the table, at which point everyone returned to studying the puzzle intently. Kathryn glanced at Chakotay and winked. He looked relieved and graced her with one of his dimples.

"Captain to the bridge." Came Tuvok's voice over the comm. Kathryn sighed, what she hoped was a quiet sigh. It wasn't. She tapped her chest.

"I'm on my way, Tuvok."

Chakotay met her eyes and she nodded. They left together, talking quietly.

Neelix joined them at the table. B'Elanna looked around to her fellow crewmembers, a few of which were friends.

"Is anyone thinking what I'm thinking?"

"You mean should the betting pool be started again?" Harry said.

"I at least think we should try and do something..." Neelix was adament.

B'Elanna shook her head. "Something like what? Chakotay's not going to make any move, not now, you know that."

"Well, he's not the only one in this equation, is he?"

"No, but he's the only one who is close enough to her to make a suggestion, so we have a catch-22, as they used to say." B'Elanna sighed. No one at the table had anything else to contribute to the discussion and after a little while longer they all returned to their duty shifts.

That evening after dinner, the entire senior staff plus commanding officers were huddled around the puzzle, trying to finish it. Tuvok declined, not understanding the need to have fun with this particular activity. Tom merely acted as observer, waiting to see if they would be able to get the cow/bull/whatever, chuckling to himself. A lot of the talk centered around farm life, Kathryn contributing what she had learned from some of her childhood friends. Chakotay had to admit that he enjoyed seeing her like this, relaxed, chatting, willing to share parts of her life with the crew and by extension, him. The two of them had talked quite a bit about Indiana over the years, as well as his home, both Trebus and his adopted home of the Academy and the southwest on Earth. He was continually surprised that they were so different and yet he was so in love with her.

"Oh my goodness, Captain! I think I've got the pieces for the head of the animal. It doesn't look like anything I've ever seen before..." Harry was excited, putting the pieces together in front of him, then putting the whole four piece set into the puzzle. Everyone bent to look and gasped.

Kathryn was the first one to start laughing, she couldn't help it and soon the rest joined her. She stole a look at Tom, who was grinning broadly. In front of her was a picture of the Doctor's head on the shoulders of a very large bull.

"Tom Paris - you are bad! You'd better hope that everyone at this table has no axe to pick with you or the Doctor will find out about this in no time..." She tried the death glare but it only came out as a twinkle in her eye.

Harry hit him on the shoulder. "Tom! You cheated! You creep, you drove me crazy with this and it isn't even logical. How did you do it, anyway?"

"Harry, Harry, since when have I ever done much that's logical. You're mixing me up with a certain Vulcan we both love to torment. Don't you think it's apropos? The Doctor as a bull? I do. All in fun, mind you! I adore the man." He winked.

B'Elanna was wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. "Tom, thanks! I needed that. But how did you do this?"

"I used the computer tactical imaging program to adjust the picture, added a few things from the Doctor's holo-image files, and presto! Doctored, so to speak, image. Then just added it to the puzzle program and replicated the thing. Piece of cake. I can do anything with it. As a matter of fact, I'm already working on your next little puzzle game. I should have it ready by tommorow, maybe even by lunchtime. Everyone ready for it?"

He got a chorus of affirmatives and glowed. He loved entertaining this group of people, it was the best part of the journey. A captive audience. The impromptu party continued until the puzzle was finished, which thankfully wasn't too late.

In his quarters Tom and B'Elanna were getting ready for bed. She kept chuckling to herself, thinking of the Doctor on the farm.

"Tom, do you still have a copy of your doctored image in the computer? I'd love to have a small version of it, just to keep in my desk. So when I get really pissed off at that holo-man, I can take it out and vent."

Tom gave her a close hug. "Anything for you, B'El. I'll make you one tomorrow."

"So what is the next picture about?"

"Well, I can say that after tonight I've made a new decision about the theme of this little project. I'm going to have to get up early and work before duty shift starts.  The next one concerns your best friend, besides me that is."

"Chakotay? Don't make fun of him, Tom. I won't stand for him being humiliated, you know..."

"No, no, it's not like that. Besides, I value my bones intact, thank you." He got into bed and reached for her to join him. She curled herself into his embrace, both of them sighing in contentment. "I thought of it watching the Captain talking about Indiana, and watching Chakotay watch her. He still has it bad for her, doesn't he?"

"Yes, unfortunately for him, he does. Though we witnessed an interesting exchange at lunch today. Something about doing that puzzle together sort of brought barriers down, I don't exactly understand it. Anyway, the two of them were acting like a couple of teenagers with each other! It amazed all of us. We'd never seen how they are when no one else is around before. He was about to start tickling her! And she was goading him with a huge grin on her face... I'm not so sure that she doesn't have a little something bad for him, too. It was kind of strange to see..."

"Well, maybe the pool needs to be started again?"

"We talked about it. Nothing's going to happen - Chakotay won't make a move and SHE definitely won't. Too bad, I think."

"Hm-m-m, let helm-boy here think on this. Perhaps there is a way to get the message to her subtly and without pressure..."

The next day at lunch, the new puzzle was brought out for the anxious crew. Those that could fit around the table set to the pieces, turning all of them over and sorting out the border ones. Chakotay was elected to be in charge of the border assembly, an honor he accepted willingly. He noticed that the colors of this one were very different from the greens and blues of the farm. Earth tones soothed his eyes and he found himself quite looking forward to seeing what Tom had given them to play with. Kathryn asked, almost shyly, if she could be on his border team and he quickly agreed. Again, Tom and B'Elanna watched their Captain closely, smiling to themselves.

Lunch break was over too soon and after instructions were given to Neelix for the next group to continue putting the border together, plans were made for another puzzle party that evening.

The afternoon seemed to drag on the bridge that day. Absolutely nothing was detected on long range scans other than the occasional nebula. No ships, no planets. Their stores were full, as was their dilithium supply. In truth, everyone was bored and wanting to get to the mess hall as quickly as possible. Near the end of duty shift, the Captain declared to anyone who cared to listen that she was going to come in casual clothes that evening. Her first officer chuckled and thanked her for letting everyone have something to look forward to. She swatted him on the arm across the console, grinning.

"Just wanted to get my two cents in about the formality of it, that's all. The Captain states informal dress. So the option's open for others to follow suit without worrying about what I'm going to think of it."

"Captain, I think you're thinking too much again..." Chakotay smiled at her. "But thank you for the ... Opening."

Cheeky man, she laughed to herself. Two days in a row...

Between Chakotay, Kathryn and Neelix the border was done in record time. The others were already starting on the interior, discovering during the last puzzle that gathering pieces of similar colors one could put some details together without knowing where they would be positioned in the final picture. Seven had a small group of grey pieces in front of her, trying to make some sense of them. Harry leaned over her.

"Uh oh, Seven, I think you have another bull there."

"I do not see how you can determine what I have before I have put the pieces together."

"Well, after doing this awhile, you start thinking you can see things in each piece, call it intuition, Seven."

"Intuition, as you put it, is irrevelant in this exercise."

B'Elanna snorted. "Listen, Seven, this isn't an exercise. It's a game."

"But games need to have a winner, don't they? There clearly is no winner here. Therefore, this is not a game but an exercise."

"Captain, could you enlighten your protégé here?" B'Elanna pleaded.

Chakotay chuckled to himself. He glanced at Kathryn, sitting closely next to him, clearly looking for something important, in her own world. He poked her gently in the ribs.

"Hm-m-m?" She turned her blue eyes to his. He turned to his friend.

"B'El, I think you'll have to do the enlightening. The Captain is preoccupied."

"Fine. Seven, just do us a favor? Pretend it's a game. That way you might actually have fun."

"Pretense is also irrevelant when the object is 'fun' as you put it."

Tom put his arm around B'Elanna's shouders. "Forget it hon. She's just ... Seven."

Harry was still looking at the pieces in front of Seven that she was assembling, not very efficiently, actually. "Seven, can you see colors?"

"Some tones are apparent. Some are not. My ocular implant doesn't always distinguish between two colors that are very similar. Is this a problem?"

"I think it will be. Can I help you?"

"If you think that's necessary."

"I do." Harry proceeded to re-sort her pieces and between both got them assembled. "Look everyone - it's a wolf!"

Chakotay looked up quickly. A wolf. His animal guide. No one knew that she was his guide but him. He glanced at Tom, who merely gazed back, no emotion apparent on his face. Chakotay went back to collecting pink pieces which he thought might be the sky. And tried to keep his mind off the fact that Kathryn was sitting very very close, it almost seemed to him that she moved deliberately closer with every passing minute. If she was doing that, she was very cool about it. Their arms continued to brush against each other as they reached across the table. One time, she even stood to get something and leaned in front of him giving him an interesting view of her chest dangling in front of his eyes. He immediately studied the table top intently and tried to breathe until she sat down again. This was getting interesting, he thought.

Within an hour or so, they had it almost half done. It appeared to be a scene of the southwest United States at sunset. It was quite beautiful, Chakotay thought. Memories flooded his mind for a minute and he closed his eyes, seeing things no one else could.

"Chakotay, are you all right?" Kathryn said quietly.

He took a deep breath and reluctantly rejoined her. "Yes, just remembering. Sitting on the mesa at sunset, watching the hawks glide, the lizards burrowing for the night. Waiting for night to come..."

"Did it look like this?"

"A lot like it, yes. But you know, you've been to the Grand Canyon, it's similar."

"I sometimes think I didn't give it a fair shake, especially when you talk about being there. You know how much I hated that trip with my family. It just all seemed too dusty for my taste. But my father was intent on us appreciating it to the extent that I don't think he really showed us the beauty. Not just for the beauty's sake. I don't know."

"Well I think that the southwest can be one of the most spectactularly beautiful places on Earth. But then again, so can Indiana." He smiled at her.

"Maybe if I had a better guide I'd see what you see." She smiled back at him.

They didn't notice that once again conversation had stopped around the table, nor the wink that Tom gave to B'Elanna. Tom, though, also wanted normalcy to return before his commanding officers noticed everyone listening to their private conversation. "Harry, where do you think that wolf belongs? And what are you putting together now?"

Startled, he answered quickly. "I think the wolf goes down front. And it looks as though I have more animals. Boy I seem to gravitate toward them, don't I?" He chuckled.

"I have animals, too." Kathryn said, surprised. "A group of lizards for one thing..." She smiled to herself. No one knew her animal guide was a lizard but her. "And I think I have a large bird that's flying, maybe a hawk, Chakotay?"

"Maybe. Could be a vulture, too."

"Ew-w" B'Elanna grimaced. "That means there's something dead in this picture. Tom, you didn't did you?"

"Now I wouldn't be that gruesome. We get enough death and destruction already for my taste, thank you."

"Perhaps an eagle..." Chakotay was putting the last piece in the sky. "Wow, that was fun. Look at those colors..." The sunset was indeed spectacular. His friends around the table agreed in hushed tones. He suddenly felt Kathryn squeeze his hand under the table. They smiled again at each other.

"Well, I think I've got a human figure..." B'Elanna piped up. Neelix leaned over, nodding.

"I might have some of your legs..."

"Excuse me?"

"I have something that looks like it might be a leg in leather, with fringe. Looks like it belongs to your person."

"Oh. Let's get them together.... Shit! How are we going to move these things into the puzzle?"

Neelix jumped up. "I've got a spatula that'll work. Be right back. Anyone want anything from the galley?"

"Ice cream?" Kathryn asked hopefully, which elicited a chorus of 'ice cream!'from the rest of the table. Neelix chuckled and promised to bring what he could. He returned with a tray filled with bowls, spoons, a container of ice cream and a scoop. Tom offered to dish up and soon everyone was thoroughly enjoying their treat. Neelix walked around the table with the spatula, picking up finished sections and putting them where, eventually after much light-hearted arguing, everyone agreed they should go. The puzzle was actually more completed than they had all realized.

It was not only a picture of the southwest at sunset, but of a figure squatting with his arm around the neck of the wolf. He was squatting on one knee but his torso and head were missing. The eagle, which Chakotay identified definitely, soared over the almost finished canyon behind the man. Indeed, there were other animals along with Kathryn's lizard family. A jack rabbit, some desert mice (also identified by the native american), an owl, and more animals looked to be waiting in the pieces still on the table.

Kathryn, finishing the last of her ice cream was idly looking at other pieces still left. Then she saw it, and reached out to pick it up and study more closely. Sure enough, it was part of Chakotay's tatoo, she was sure of it. She held the piece up in the air in front of his forehead.

"Kathryn, what are you doing?"

"Look, Chakotay, it's your tatoo." She handed the piece to him. Everyone looked up, surprised except for B'Elanna and of course Tom.

He couldn't believe it. "Tom?" He looked at his former nemesis. Tom met his gaze with innocent eyes.

"Chakotay, don't worry, it's not going on an animal. Trust me."

"Well, if you would've said that to me a number of years ago I would have told you to meet me outside in the alley..." He narrowed his eyes. Then relaxed his face. "But now, after everything I guess I have no choice."

"Not if you want the best damn pilot Starfleet has ever seen to continue to fly for you." Tom grinned as only Tom could. "Excuse me, Captain, no offense. Only when you are not on the bridge..."

"None taken, Tom. I feel priveledged to not only have the best pilot Starfleet has seen but quite possibly the second best as well." She smiled at Chakotay. "But to get back to the tatoo, does this mean what we think it does? The man in the picture is Chakotay?"

"You better find the rest of him and see, Captain..." Tom smiled enigmatically at her.

She took him up on his challenge and found the rest of the torso and head. She should have recognized those torso pieces, she'd seen Chakotay without a shirt a number of times and would know that chest anywhere... And as for the dark head of hair and the smiling eyes and dimples, well he was the best damned looking native american she'd ever seen. She sighed a big one when the last piece of him was put in place. She finally glanced at him.

"Did you have fun, Kathryn?" He was giving her both dimples.

"Actually -- yep, I did. What do you think?"

"It doesn't look anything like me. I've never worn that type of clothing before."

Everyone else was studying the picture intently. They all disagreed vehemently with him, Kathryn in particular.

"Tom," she said, "you tell us - how much of this aside from the head is Chakotay?"

"Well, what do you think, Captain?"

"Like I said, I think at least from the waist up it's him."

"So that's Chakotay's chest?" Tom stared into her eyes. Kathryn had the good grace to blush, slightly.

"Um, I ... Yes, I believe it is." She stared defiantly back at him. Chakotay was grinning to himself.

"You're right Captain, it is Chakotay's chest, and of course head."

Chakotay stared at him. "Where in the hell did you get an image of me without a shirt on?"

"You're not going to believe it, but from the Doctor's image database. He took it on the holodeck, I think the time we were playing volleyball. Does that ring a bell?"

"Barely. I remember the volleyball, but I don't remember the Doctor taking images of us." He was still suspicious. He looked at B'Elanna who wouldn't meet his eyes. He then remembered another image taking session, while he and his Maquis crew were taking a day long break on Risa Prime, at one of the hidden places that was safe for them. He suspected Tom really got this image from B'Elanna, who was too embarrassed to admit she had it. He chuckled to himself. She finally met his eyes and he sent her a quick wink. Her face relaxed and she returned the wink. Tom, however, noticed the Captain noticing the winks. He saw her face close up tight. Shit.  She got up and started gathering bowls and spoons.

"Captain, leave that, I'll take care of it in awhile." Neelix said to her.

"That's okay Neelix, I feel the need to move." She said almost woodenly. Chakotay looked at her with shock, then to B'Elanna and for some reason to Tom. Tom leaned over and whispered into B'El's ear. Her eyes widened. As soon as the Captain was heading towards the galley she jumped up and went to Chakotay, leaning into his ear.

"Quick - follow her - she saw us wink - do something, quick!"

He immediately bounded after Kathryn, who was already in the galley, rinsing out bowls. She met his eyes briefly and he could see how shut down she was. No way, Kathryn, not this time. He picked up some of the spoons and handed them to her to rinse.

"You know, Kathryn, I bet you didn't realize just how protective Tom is of B'Elanna." He said conversationally. He gratefully heard the table return to companiable talk and saw them working on the last of the puzzle. "He was lying about the image of me."

"Really?" She wouldn't meet his eyes but at least he had her attention.

"Yes, that image of me without a shirt was actually taken when I was on the Liberty. I suspect B'Elanna had it in a drawer somewhere, for old times' sake. My crew and I had one day of leisure at a hidden spot. We took the opportunity to swim and relax, it was a wonderful day. Lots of images were taken by Keelor and he gave copies freely to everyone. We all wanted to hold on to that time." He looked at her profile and thought he saw a bit of softening around her eyes.

"Kathryn, can I tell you something in confidence?"

"Of course."

"Did you know that B'Elannna had a crush on me while we were Maquis? We've talked about it. It's no big deal between us. Actually never was. She's like my sister, you know that. I think she kept that image of me during the time of her crush. She must have turned it over to Tom to help out with this little project and he didn't want to embarrass her by saying that in front of everyone. He's very much in love with her, isn't he? I remembered the origin of the image finally and let her know."

Kathryn sighed and wiped the corner of her eye. "I had some sense of her feelings for you the first couple of years. You two were always coming to each other's defense with me..." She fiddled with the sponge. He reached out and touched her arm gently.

"Kathryn, what's wrong?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe I'm feeling a bit ... jealous." She was surprised at herself for letting that out. "You know, I'll never be as close to you as she is."

So, he thought, finally we have it out in the open. "That's not true. It's just not. You can be as close to me as you want, it's all up to you. As hard as that is for me to live with, that's the way it is. And you are a very dear person to me, your friendship is extremely important. I've known B'El longer, we've been through things just as intense as you and I have."

"But the two of you are very ... solid. Nothing much could ever come between you. That's clear."

"Don't you know why that is?"

"I don't know what you're asking."

"I'm not in love with B'Elanna. That makes all the difference. I love her, but I'm not in love with her and she's not in love with me. So there's no place for jealousy or feelings of being threatened."

"I hate feeling jealous, it feels like something is eating away inside."

He sighed. "I understand, believe me. How do you think I feel about Mark? To know that he had a part of you that I don't? Not to mention the rest of them that I'd prefer not to think about at the moment..."

She turned around with her back to the mess hall and wrapped her arms around her chest. "I'm sorry, Chakotay." She finally looked at him straight on. "I'll think about what you've said, I promise."

"So what do you really think about the puzzle?" He desperately wanted to take the pain out of her eyes. She smiled at him and their eyes locked intensely for a moment.

"I think it's a great image of you. I wish I could have a copy of it." Her mind was still in turmoil, not to mention her emotions. Could she admit that she was in love with him? Was that really where the jealousy came from? She tried to remember if she'd ever been jealous of a friend having another friend. Not the way she had felt seeing the connection between Chakotay and B'Elanna. It really was different, coming on top of admitting that she was very sure what he looked like with no clothes on. Shit. Life could really suck sometimes. Chakotay was saying something...

"...Tom could give you one."

"I'm sorry? One what?"

"A copy of the image he used to make the puzzle. If you'd like it."

She took a good look at the man standing next to her. He looked actually vulnerable at that moment which completely melted her heart. "I would absolutely love a copy. Really. Ready to go look at the finished project? I'm sure they're done by now." She held out her hand.

He took a good look at her. She was no longer shut down and he knew in his heart that she would be mulling over their conversation deep into the night. That was fine with him. Mulling meant possibilities. He smiled at her and took the offered hand. They returned to their friends, their family.

"Harry, it is not!"

"Yes, it is B'Elanna. I grew up there, I should know."

"Well, we all lived there at one time or another, excuse me Neelix and Seven." B'Elanna looked up to see Chakotay and the Captain approaching their seats hand in hand. Thank God.

As Kathryn sat she saw the completed puzzle for the first time. She gasped to herself. It was an amazing image of Chakotay. Her eyes took in all the details, the wolf, the small animals, the eagle soaring in the background, the sunset, the rocks and cliffs, the owl and in the middle was a man at peace with it all. Yes, Tom had left him in native north american dress, which Chakotay's ancestor's wouldn't have worn, but somehow it didn't matter. His glowing smile, deep eyes, tatoo, all made him seem right at home. She couldn't pull her eyes away from his face and definitely wasn't going to pull away from his hand.

"Tom, you really outdid yourself with this image. I can't imagine where you got the original but I think it's perfect." Kathryn smiled sincerely at her pilot.

"Thank you Captain, I'm glad you approve." he knew right then he was going to make a copy for her, maybe she'd keep it by her bedside. "Chakotay, what do you think of it?"

"Well, like I said before, I've never worn anything like that, and frankly neither did my ancestors. But aside from that small detail, I really like it. It's a great image. I'm flattered, Tom."

"I'm glad you like it. Would you like the puzzle to keep? I can put it in a bag for you, maybe some day you might want to do it again."

Chakotay was surprised at the sincerity he heard. He actually felt his throat tighten a bit, and took a moment to regain his composure. "Thanks, Tom. Actually I would like that." Kathryn squeezed his hand tightly and when he met her eyes he knew she wanted to go. He nodded to her and they rose to leave. Kathryn took one last look at the image on the table before heading to her quarters, still clutching Chakotay's hand and not caring who saw it.

She asked him to come in and have some tea to which he readily agreed. Sitting on the couch they talked for another hour or so. Kathryn asked him to tell her all about the day on Risa Prime. Chakotay shared everything he could remember, understanding that she wanted and needed another piece of him revealed. They had occasionally talked about his Maquis experiences, but usually not in detail. That night was different. She peppered him with questions, some of which he answered and some not. When he left she walked him to the door. Kathryn realized with surprise she wanted him to kiss her, but he merely smiled deeply and said good night. As the doors swooshed shut she felt a stab of disappointment.

The next morning Kathryn was greeted by two unusual things on her desk. One was a paper rolled into a tube with a ribbon around it, the other was a small bag, with the same ribbon closing it. She opened the tube and smiled. It was an 8x10 copy of the image of Chakotay. It took her breath away, seeing it as a smooth image and not as a puzzle. She touched his face and felt her throat tighten from confusing emotions. She would have to make a frame but where to keep this? She really wanted it in her ready room so she could look at it whenever she wanted, but then again, she could always walk out onto the bridge and see the real thing. She'd put it on her dresser, and excitedly she jumped up to the replicator to get a frame. She chose a wooden one with just a touch of gold running through. Looking at the finished product she smiled broadly. It looked great. It looked great on her desk, too. She tapped her chest.

"Janeway to Lt. Paris. Tom, please come to my ready room."

"On my way, Captain."

The beaming face of her pilot greeted her. "Tom, thank you very much for the image copy. I assume Chakotay told you I wanted it?"

"No, ma'am." he was surprised. "I thought you might like it, that's all. I see you haven't opened the bag yet."

"That's from you, too? Do you want me to open it in front of you?"

"Not necessary. Just enjoy it, Captain. That's all I ask."

She smiled at him again. "I'll try. Dismissed."

He grinned and bowed his head. Then with his best Starfleet turn he headed back to the helm. He was very pleased with himself and didn't care who saw. He had brought a smile to the face of his favorite Captain. Just wait until you see the rest of your surprise, Captain. He took a moment before sitting to beam in Chakotay's direction. I'm doing my best, Commander...

The bag opened to reveal puzzle pieces, large pieces. She chuckled and dumped them out on her desktop. Then realized that wasn't enough room, so scooping them up she headed to her couch. Deep into the assembly she dimly heard the door chime.

"Come in" she mumbled. Luckily the computer registered her voice and in walked her first officer.

"Good morning, Captain. I have the last of the department status reports." he approached her holding out a padd. "Oh - another puzzle?"

She raised her head and was blessed by the sight of twinkling brown eyes and at least one dimple. "Good morning Chakotay. This is a present from Tom, one of two surprises. The other one is on my desk if you want to see it." He turned and went to inspect.

Chakotay was quite taken aback to see his picture framed on her desk. His heart did a little flip flop. He turned to look at Kathryn and found her engrossed in the puzzle, but suddenly she looked up and their eyes met. She gave him a very warm smile and he was sure he felt a slight blush creep across his face. He managed to return the smile and she went back to her task. He wasn't sure what to do, go or stay, say something, pretend all was normal, what. This brought out a small chuckle from deep inside, gods above she certainly could turn him upside down.

"Chakotay - are you ok? Did you want to see the puzzle? Come on up..." How could he refuse any invitation from her?

Sitting next to her he looked at what in the world Tom had given her. Larger pieced and a smaller dimension, Kathryn was almost finished. It looked like areas around Starfleet HQ, redwood trees, ferns, a stream...he could almost smell the forest and feel the soft ground under his feet. He had loved walking in the redwood groves on his few days off while at the Academy. He used to wish he could live somewhere a little north of San Francisco when he graduated if even for only part of the year. Her voice brought him back to reality.

"Oh my God... Tom you romantic, you...."

Chakotay looked at the image. In the center of the trees, walking on the path hand in hand was Kathryn and him. Words were lost in his mind. He managed to look at the woman sitting next to him and all he saw on her face was rapture. No other word for it. Rapture. He could only feel confusion and somehow he told her it was nice and got himself out of the ready room and back on safe territory. His territory. His seat on the bridge. He stared at the back of Voyager's ace pilot, wondering what the hell was happening.

Kathryn, stunned, watched Chakotay beat it back to the bridge. She couldn't understand why he had bolted. She thought the image was wonderful. And a very sweet thing for Tom to give her, a little piece of heaven to start the day. Maybe once they got back to the Alpha Quadrant she could take Chakotay to her favorite woods for a walk and a picnic. She'd ask him as soon as he calmed down. Chuckling, she almost called him in then relented. He obviously needed some space to do .... something? "Oh Chakotay, you are such a good man. Don't worry, I don't plan on hurting you again..." she smiled.

Lunch time brought yet another puzzle for the crew from Tom. Chakotay briefly wondered where Tom was getting all this time. Neither man had spoken to the other of the Captain's gifts, but Chakotay caught Tom grinning at him a few times that morning. He had the uncomfortable feeling that B'El and her lover had some plan they were hatching on the Captain's behalf, involving him. He hoped and prayed it wouldn't backfire and surprised himself by taking no action to stop it.

Those in the messhall at the unveiling set upon the puzzle pieces with enthusiasm. As with everything else the crew had learned together, they established an easy rhythm in getting the thing started, sorting out the border pieces, leaving Chakotay and Neelix to put those together, turning the rest over carefully. Chatting and laughing, stories were passed about the morning, Naomi's missing Flotter doll that was found in sick bay, gossip about yet another new coupling of crewmembers on deck eight, the boredom that was threatening to turn the bridge crew into zombies.

Kathryn stopped by to see what was happening and stood directly behind Chakotay. She resisted the urge to ruffle his hair but did leave her hand on his shoulder for a bit longer than normal. She couldn't help herself, she loved the feel of his muscles under her hands. She was relieved to see that he greeted her arrival with a deep smile for her alone, gone was the awkwardness of earlier. And she had to admit to herself that her heart fluttered a bit when she saw him. She thought again about everything that had passed through her mind the night before, all of the ins and outs of her feelings for this man, their talk in the galley, what she wanted the boundaries to be, her needs and wants, his needs and wants. She didn't regret the decision she had finally made somewhere around midnight. No boundaries or parameters set. She'd let things take her where they would. A weight had lifted right off her shoulders and she slept peacefully for the first time in a very very long time.

She squeezed Chakotay's shoulder, wished the crew good luck and went to get some food before heading back to work. On her way out the door his eyes met hers and they gave each other a smile. Neither noticed B'Elanna watching.

On her desk was another bag tied with ribbon. She immediately took it to the couch and emptied the pieces on her table. The puzzle was completed in less than 20 minutes. She studied the image with her chin on her fists and a smile on her face. Tom certainly did have an imagination. This one was of a beach on the pacific coast, she thought it might be Limantour in Pt. Reyes, but it had been so long since she'd been there she wasn't sure. This time she and Chakotay were sitting on a blanket on the sand, smiling and laughing together. She was surprised at the images of them the Doctor had in his database. Kathryn felt nothing but gratitude for it. Yes, this would be another wonderful place they could explore together once they got home. She allowed herself to get lost in the image, feeling the breeze on her face, smelling the ocean and the sage, imagining herself being supported by a strong chest with wonderful arms surrounding her...

Kathryn woke to someone gently pushing her shoulder. Opening her eyes she was blessed by the sight of the man from the beach, smiling softly.

"Good afternoon, Kathryn."

"M-m-m, okay." she reached up and took his hand in hers, closed her eyes again and contented herself with the feel of his skin as she stroked his hand, entwining her fingers in his...

"Kathryn, you need to wake up." she heard a grin in his voice.

"Why..."

"Cause you're on duty."

"Want to go to the beach with me when we get home?"

"I saw the image. Looks like Limantour. I'd love to go there with you when we get home. After we go to the woods that is. But I'll only make the date if you open your eyes."

"Blackmail?"

"Coersion. I miss your eyes."

She opened them to see sparkling deep brown ones. "You are one cheeky man, did you know that?"

Chakotay laughed. "Who has a hold of my hand and won't let go? Not that I mind it."

She sat up with a stretch, taking his hand with her. "So you've been to Pt. Reyes?"

"I went a couple of times, whenever I could get away from the Academy I did. I loved it. Amazing that it's been protected for all these centuries. I saw bird species that I never had before. It was spectacular."

"As spectacular as the mesa?"

"Different spectacular. I loved northern California. It was one of the best things about coming to the Academy. I used to dream about living there for part of the year once I graduated."

"You never told me that before."

"I guess the topic has never come up. I think about it again, whenever I consider the possibility that we might get home and I might stay out of prison." Kathryn saw a hooded look in his eyes.

"You won't go to prison if I have anything to say about it, Chakotay. I promise."

Their eyes met and time seemed to stop.

"Tuvok to Commander Chakotay." Reluctantly Chakotay took his hand from hers and tapped his chest.

"Yes, Mr. Tuvok. The Captain is fine. She was just absorbed in her work to such an extent that she didn't notice the hails. I'll be returning to the bridge shortly."

"Very good Commander. Tuvok out."

Kathryn laughed. "He didn't buy that for a second, you know."

"Yeah, I know. But I get a kick out of seeing if a Vulcan will call a superior officer on a lie. One of my little games I play when times are boring. Well, I have to return to duty."

"Will you have dinner with me tonight? Before the puzzle party?"

"I'd love to. Pick you up at 1800?"

Kathryn realized he thought they would eat in the mess hall. She allowed that to be true, not wanting to cause him to bolt again. "That would be fine. Thank you for waking me up so nicely."

"My pleasure. See you later." He gave her his usual little bow and a better Starfleet turn than Tom had shown, heading for the bridge. Kathryn looked at the puzzle again for awhile, then packed it up, retied the ribbon and put it next to the other in her bottom drawer. She smiled to herself the rest of the afternoon.

She had been right. Her dresser was a perfect place to put the image of Chakotay. She got to look at it while she fixed her hair and retouched her makeup before dinner and loved every minute. A poster sized image would be better, though, on her ceiling where she could see it first thing in the morning. Maybe another one in the bathroom. She laughingly gave herself a sound talking to quickly before Chakotay arrived. Her imagination was getting completely out of control. Must be those puzzles Tom gave her. Looking in the mirror she approved of what she saw and left the bedroom.

And came upon another little ribbon tied bag sitting on her dining table. She almost tapped her comm just to make sure it had been a site-to-site and not a personal delivery while she took her shower but restrained herself. She trusted Tom, for the most part. He and B'Elanna must be in this together, she chuckled. She quickly dumped the pieces and set to work. In the middle of assembly her door chimed. Instant butterflies in her stomach. She got up to answer the door in person and seeing Chakotay had to restrain herself from reaching up to give him a hug, something they had never done deliberately. Too bad, she thought. The precedent would have come in handy just then. His smile was about to do her in so she grabbed his hand after saying hello and brought him to the table to finish Tom's latest.

Chakotay, seeing various emotions flicker across Kathryn's face was a little confused again. He felt the urge to take her in his arms, which only added to his own confusion. They never hugged either hello or good night. He couldn't figure out from where she was coming. He knew she was taking barriers down one by one but the uncertainty was beginning to stress him. Normally he would go with it, allowing things to take their natural course. Unfortunately, with Kathryn, there was no true natural course. Their dance had gone on so long, changing the steps now left him feeling like a bumbling idiot. He allowed her to take his hand, again, enjoying it, sitting with her to finish the most recent puzzle.

It was an astounding image. Tom was definately enjoying himself. Swirls of stars, the Delta Quadrant mixed with the Alpha Quadrant, moving across the black background. Superimposed were the profiles of each of them smiling at each other, probably taken at a party. The stars from the galaxy moved in and out of their faces. It was as though they had been blessed by the Gods above. Chakotay was stunned. He heard a noise next to him and turned to see Kathryn crying softly, her hand over her mouth, tears falling down her cheeks. Without thinking twice he reached out and pulled her into his arms, his heart overwhelmed to feel her wrap herself around his neck, allowing herself to give in and cry on his shoulder. He pulled harder and got her into his lap where he rocked her gently, rubbing her back, letting his own tears fall freely.

Kathryn's heart was pounding as her tears subsided and she tried to relax even more into the position she found herself in, relishing the safety and comfort of Chakotay's embrace. The thumping against her ribs was making relaxation a bit difficult, however. She tried to breathe deeply but that wasn't very effective.

"Kathryn, are you alright now?"

"I'm not sure. How did Tom manage to do that to me?"

He chuckled softly. "I think he did it to both of us, though clearly it was meant just for you."

"He's a scoundrel, no question. But it did get me here."

"I can take some credit for that, you know."

"Absolutely you can. Take all the credit, please." Kathryn had the very very strong urge to kiss his cheek, which she indulged, breathing in his scent up close, moving her mouth down to his neck and back up heading for his ear.

Chakotay's heart began to pound in concert with hers. "Kathryn, don't take this the wrong way but what are you doing? Let me rephrase that - what are you up to?"

"Hm-m-m, your earlobe I think." She started nibbling softly, hearing his intake of breath.

He gently took her by the shoulders and pulled her away to look in her eyes. "It seems as though you've changed the parameters without letting me know. Or is this a test?"

Kathryn could only gaze into those deep brown eyes of his, feeling as though she were falling straight into them. She tried to formulate a good answer but the effort was in vain. "What would I be testing? You? Me?"

"You could be doing nothing more than testing the boundaries that have been set in the past. Seeing what I'll do in response. Will I respect our positions enough to back off? Will I be someone that can't be trusted? Will I return your kisses with all the passion I feel for you?"

She reached out and stroked his cheek gently. "I had a long talk with myself last night after you left. I thought about what you said. That I could be as close to you as I wanted. I made a decision..." she got lost in his eyes again.

"Kathryn, if you don't tell me what decision you made I'm getting up and leaving right now."

"More blackmail? Is that a Maquis thing?" she grinned at him.

He groaned in response and closed his eyes, willing himself not to lose his temper. Her cry surprised him enough so that all angry thoughts flew out of his head.

"No! Chakotay - don't close your eyes, please?" she shook off his hands from her shoulders and leaned back into him with her arms around his neck so that when he did open his eyes, her face was inches from his own.

"Your decision?" he stared at her, wrapping his arms around her.

She smiled as she relented. He really was too easy to tease, she chuckled to herself. "I decided that I wasn't going to set any boundaries, or parameters, I was just going to take things as they came. Let myself go with whatever feelings I have at the moment. I don't want to hold you at arm's length anymore, Chakotay. I want it all. I want you." She took the opportunity to test her new decision and gave in to her desire to kiss him, consciously taking advantage of the stunned man whom she dearly loved.

Their lips met with tenderness and an intake of breath on both sides. The soft kisses became quickly deep as they exhaled into each other's mouth. With quietly panting breaths their lips opened and met with an urgency that belied the almost complete lack of movement from their hands. All attention centered on what was happening to each of them as their mouths moved ever tighter and tighter together, as their tongues began to explore together, as the longing and the love they had each held for the other came out in a rush. Kathryn almost felt as though she would pass out from the emotions surging through her. The phrase 'madly in love' repeated in her nearly numb brain and if this were madness, she reasoned, please God let her stay this way forever. Chakotay's only conscious thought was that he was completely hers from that moment forward.

Soon their hands woke up and began their own explorations and clearly Chakotay had the advantage with full access to Kathryn's body. She in turn could only touch his upper torso unless she moved but she was unable to do that, feeling captured by strong, warm hands stroking her back, her legs, her arms, her sides, every part of her he could reach he was. Kathryn was on fire, a complete and total melt down.

It was Chakotay who broke contact, gently and with deep breaths. Kathryn ached for his mouth to return to hers and was about to assault him again when he spoke.

"Kathryn, I need something from you. I need to take this risk because I am so totally and completely in love with you at the moment that I am willing to do whatever you ask of me. I won't go any further with that defining who we are. I can't do that to myself. So please, would you tell me how you feel about me?"

He simply took her breath away. How could one man be so willing to be vulnerable and so courageous as well? How many times had he put his life on the line? How many times had she felt the love he had for her come straight out of his eyes and into her own? How could she not give him what he deserved?

"Chakotay, I am madly in love with you. I love you. With everything in me I love you." She gazed deeply into his eyes, almost missing the most dazzling smile he had ever given her.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, positively, completely and totally."

Chakotay could only respond by pulling her tightly to him, burying his face in her neck, holding her as if she would disappear should he let go. He felt his own control slipping as emotions threatened to overtake him, his eyes shut tightly to keep the tears from spillling even as he heard a voice from deep inside telling him to let go. He tried to breathe and as his chest expanded and emptied his tears rolled down his cheeks. He gave thanks to his ancestors not for the first time for bringing him to this point in his life, where he could know and love this woman, his Kathryn.

Kathryn felt the wet hit her neck and her heart opened, her hands stroked his head, her lips found their way to kiss away his tears. In between kisses to his cheeks, his eyes, his lips she told him that she loved him, over and over and over until she could feel him calm and at peace.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" he asked her in the quiet of their embrace.

"If it's anywhere near how much I love you then it's quite alot." she smiled into his neck, running her hand through the closely cropped hair on the back of his head. She was surprised at how soft it was. He was a wonder to her. She was looking forward to learning everything she could about him though she suspected that she already knew the most important part. His soul he had always shared with her and now that she was in full contact with it she had no intention of ever leaving until she died. They sighed together and softly their lips found each other again.

Kissing deeply with tender passion they felt their bodies melting. Into one another. Into the chair. Into the floor.

Once again, Chakotay broke contact, quite unwillingly. He put his forehead against hers with eyes closed, his hand stroking her hair. He finally opened them and gazed into the blue irises of the woman he loved.

"Kathryn, I hate to do this but we have a family commitment tonight, not to mention the need for some food..."

"But..." she lowered her eyes, suddenly shy.

"We have the rest of our lives to make love, should you want to, and the rest of the night to be alone together. I'm not going anywhere, believe me. If we don't show up it will be more suspicious, everyone knows there's absolutely nothing going on with the ship at the moment. Besides, I really am hungry - I can't exist on coffee like some people I know," he grinned.

She truly couldn't resist those grins of his.... "First of all, there's no question in my mind that I want to make love with you, I don't think I've wanted anyone as much as I want you. So let's just get that out there in the open, okay?" She took a moment to watch his reaction which didn't disappoint her. His eyes actually looked glittery with the dark brown becoming even more darker as he gave her a slow smile. "Secondly, I don't exist just on coffee for your information..."

He chortled. "True I have seen you eat, but I defy you to convince me that you eat regularly and well. How many times have I brought food into the ready room for you? Hm-m-m? Care to try and count them?"

She relented with a laugh. "Okay, you win. I don't think I could count them all. Dinner it is, then some fun with the family. Just don't stray too far from me tonight, I don't think I could handle that..." her gaze met his.

Chakotay's hands found the sides of her face. "Like you or anyone could keep me away." He kissed her tenderly. "So can you get up?"

She smiled deeply at him and tried to get off his lap. The trip was mostly successful, with only a few sways and a bit of knee buckling, which he helped her deal with.

"Now, I need to use your sink so lead on.." he put out his hand to hers. She gladly took it and brought him into her bedroom where he entered the bathroom while she took the opportunity to brush her hair. She heard the water running and some splashing, thinking that he had a good idea, her eyes could use some cold water too. She studied her reflection in the mirror. Did she look any different? Her cheeks had regained some rosiness, her eyes looked bright. Could anyone see the change inside? Her gaze wandered to the frame sitting next to the mirror. Chakotay looked out at her, smiling freely, not angry or tense. She thought about what he had told her, the day on Risa Prime, wondering how he had held it together, amazed that he had led his crew through a war and come out on the other side to her, and Voyager. She reached out and touched the glass over his face. "I love you, Chakotay." she said quietly.

She didn't notice the man in question leaning against the bathroom door, watching her. He came up behind her and enveloped her in a warm embrace, his hands sliding across her stomach, his face nuzzling her neck. He felt her sigh and lean into him, her arms holding his, her hands stroking his. "I love you, Kathryn." He raised his head and looked at their reflection, their eyes meeting in the glass.

"Do I look any different to you?" she asked him.

"I'm the wrong person to ask, I'm not nearly objective enough. Do I look any different to you?"

She thought for a moment. "I see what you mean." She sighed and straightened up, reluctantly pulling away from him. "I'll be right back, then we can go." And when she returned to the bedroom she found the man she loved studying the objects on her dresser, the framed image of himself, her bottle of scent that he inhaled with a smile on his face. She understood completely what he was doing and, taking him by the hand with a warm smile warmly returned, led him out the door to a changed world.

They arrived in the messhall at the end of dinner, but still in time to get something to eat from Neelix. Looking around for someplace to sit, they saw their only option was to join Tom and Harry as tables were filled with crewmembers chatting and laughing. Not any different than other nights during slow times but to Kathryn nothing seemed the same. The electric cord that tied her to the man at her side must be obvious to everyone looking at them, she reasoned. To the contrary, people smiled and said hello to their Captain and their Commander just as always.

Eating their food with Tom and Harry chatting amiably, both Kathryn and Chakotay were having difficulty concentrating on what their friends were saying. Their attention was solely on each other, silently communicating, acutely aware of exactly how far apart each area of their bodies were.

"Chakotay, don't you agree?" He suddenly heard Tom ask.

"I'm sorry, what did you ask me?" Chakotay tried to act casual. He stole a glance at Kathryn, who was stifling a grin, knowing as only she could what was happening.

"I was wondering if you agreed with me - that pool is more challenging than billiards."

"Tom, that is not what you were asking! Stop teasing the Commander." Harry gave him a glare.

Tom laughed. "I'm sorry Chakotay, Harry's right. I actually wasn't asking you anything, just noticing the one sided conversation he and I were having. Everything all right with you two tonight?" he directed this last part to the Captain as well.

Kathryn found a voice to speak. "Yes, Tom, we're fine. We were just talking before coming in here about some serious personnel issues. I guess we're still thinking about them. Sorry."

Tom studied them both for a minute. He didn't believe a word of it. Something was going on... "No apology necessary. So you going to join us shortly for the puzzle party?"

Kathryn wondered briefly if she should mention the puzzles that he had given her that day, but decided not to. It somehow didn't seem appropriate. "Yes, we're planning on being there. I've been looking forward to it all evening" she lied.

"Good, because I think you're really going to like this one. Well, I'm going to go find B'Elanna, probably have to pull her head out of the warp core or something. Harry? You want to join me?" He stared pointedly at his friend.

"Sure, I think I will. See you later Captain, Commander."

They both smiled and waved. As soon as the duo left the table, Chakotay took the opportunity to slide his chair closer to Kathryn, pushing his thigh against hers, eliciting a slow smile from her which he returned. He then casually leaned back in his seat, putting his arm on the back of her chair and as she relaxed he lightly stroked between her shoulder blades with one finger. Casually, with their backs to the viewports, they assumed no one noticed.

Neither saw Tom and Harry watching them from the doorway. "Come on, Harry, something's up, let's go find B'El and quick."

Kathryn turned to Chakotay and whispered as quietly as she could "Do you think anyone will notice if I lean over and kiss you?"

"I think alot of people will be disappointed that they gave up the betting pool." Both of them were aware of the bets that had been placed the year before. "And if I weren't afraid of the consequences, I would encourage you heartily to kiss me right now."

She said in an almost normal voice. "Consequences?"

He also raised his, tired of whispering. "The realization that something may be revealed to those whom you would prefer remain in the dark." He smiled, proud of how he had worded the sentence.

Kathryn chuckled. "Very good, Chakotay. I'm impressed! Sure you weren't an English teacher at the Academy?"

"Thank you, Captain."

"And that which would be revealed may cause someone embarrassment?"

"Yes, at least one person may feel something akin to shame, though the other one would feel only pride."

She felt tears well up in her eyes. "I think the one whom you assume would feel shame would also feel only pride. Some things are meant to be celebrated."

He took her hand in his and brought it under the table, where he stroked it with his other, staring intently into her eyes. "No assumptions were made regarding shame or pride. Only fears expressed."

She smiled at him and nodded her head. "Thank you. Understood. This is clearly a topic for later."

"Definately later." He returned the smile and Kathryn felt herself falling into his eyes again, their hands moving together, feeling every centimeter of skin they could.

"May I take your dishes, Captain, Commander?" They started at the sound of Neelix's voice. "It's almost time to begin working on the puzzle and I want to get the galley cleaned up."

"Thank you Neelix, here, let me help you." Chakotay let go of Kathryn's hand and stood up, taking some dishes to the galley with the Talaxian, throwing a smile to her over his shoulder.

As hard as it was for her to admit, she felt a small stab in her heart as he walked away from her. She was a little disgusted at herself for this, being who she was. The Captain of a Starship unable to be apart from a man for five minutes? A man whom she just recently admitted she loved with all her heart, whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, a decent, strong, courageous, kind and loving man. For this evening and night at least, she allowed herself the luxury of not wanting to be apart from him for five minutes. She looked around the mess hall, finally noticing that it had emptied considerably, and went to the puzzle table to see what was in store for them.

It looked as though the folks during lunch and dinner hadn't gotten very far. This looked like a hard one. Damn, she thought. It might be a long evening with the family. She rearranged the chairs slightly so that Chakotay's and hers were a little closer together. Surely no one would notice that, she reasoned. Still thirsty she headed to the galley for a glass of something, not because the man she couldn't be apart from was there.

Though entering Neelix's domain and seeing him with sleeves rolled up helping with the clean up, looking relaxed and happy, chuckling over something just said, her heart did a major flip-flop. He immediately noticed her presence and winked at her. How could she not rush to his side? How could she keep from wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face to his chest just to breathe in the glorious scent of him? She circled around him heading for the cold storage, their eyes never leaving the other's, even as he had to turn to keep contact. It wasn't until her head bent to peer inside that he could return to his task. She found what she was looking for and began looking for a glass. Oh dear, they were on the shelves in front of where Chakotay was working.

Kathryn didn't think twice. She walked straight for him, eyes locked on as he leaned against the counter watching her. Not until they were inches apart did she put her hands on his waist and ask him to move. She could see him debating his options, the slight grin playing on the corners of his mouth and she almost wanted him to do it, take her, right there, kiss her senseless until her legs gave way. She knew he saw her raw desire. She saw his answer hers and felt herself beginning to sway. Chakotay took her gently by the shoulders, asking her what she wanted, from the shelves he added. A glass please, you she added in her head. As he handed her the requested glass she told him over and over again you, just you... he handed her another glass, asking her to fix him something as well. Of course, Chakotay, I would be happy to, I would do anything for you, be anything for you, say anything if only you will stay by my side for the rest of my life... she turned away with a smile to his eyes and fixed them their drinks.

Neither noticed Neelix watching them intently.

"Thank you Commander, I think I can finish the rest. Why don't you and the Captain get yourselves settled?" Thank you Neelix, Kathryn gratefully smiled at him. She picked up their glasses and left the galley with the man she loved by her side, occasionally touching her gently in the small of her back, as though she couldn't weave her way to the big table without his guidance. She didn't care, content as she was they would soon be sitting together.

They were still the only ones to sit at the puzzle and took the opportunity to speak quietly to each other, Neelix occasionally stealing a glance at them. He could tell something had changed between them but he honestly wasn't quite sure he could trust what he thought he saw in the galley. The mere fact that they never took their eyes off each other for more than a few minutes was convincing. He prayed that his assessment was correct.

"Kathryn, have I told you in the past five minutes how incredibly beautiful I think you are?" Chakotay was leaning towards her trying to control the urge to put his mouth to hers. He watched with delight as she blushed. He wanted to give her everything he knew he could, to love her with abandon, to have her fall apart in his arms, to feel her under him, over him, next to him, he didn't care. Merely to feel her with him.

"No, not in the past five minutes you haven't. Actually I don't think I've heard that before." She smiled.

"You are incredibly beautiful, Kathryn Janeway."

"Thank you Chakotay. I could say the same about you."

"I think you're just in love with me, it is clouding your perceptions."

"Well, you have the first part right, but not the second. No clouded perceptions here. But a small complaint. You promised not to stray too far. The galley was too far."

"I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for following me although the temptation was almost too great..."

"And I almost would have let you, right there..."

They gave each other a slow smile.

He needed to inject a distraction into the conversation. "So have you looked at the puzzle yet? It doesn't look as though too much got done on it tonight by the dinner gang."

She sighed. "I'm afraid we're in for a long evening..." she smiled a bit ruefully.

"You're the Captain, can you give us tomorrow off?" He grinned with a full dimple. She swatted him on the arm lightly. "Okay, how bout this? We've gone without sleep before, we have the entire rest of the night to be together, we can just be really tired tomorrow..."

Kathryn resisted the strong urge to throw herself on him as he lounged in his seat, imagining herself straddling his lap, kissing him deeply, his hands holding her to him tightly...

"Good evening Captain, Chakotay!" Tom's voice brought her back rudely to reality. She focused her eyes and found herself staring directly into Chakotay's, he winked and smiled at her and she knew that he knew where she had gone. She winked back at him, audience be damned. Chakotay saved her from having to answer.

"Good evening again, Tom. I see you found B'Elanna. B'El, he told us you had your head in the warp core, but you look fine to me. How are you?"

Kathryn looked at her chief engineer and soon-to-be lover's best friend, wondering if she would be able to tell that Chakotay had changed drastically in the past few hours. Why couldn't anyone tell? Couldn't they see the rays of light coming out of his eyes, the lines that were no longer visible, the sheer intensity of his energy? B'Elanna was looking at him closely and Kathryn could swear that she saw something flicker behind her eyes.

"I'm good, had a good afternoon, if a little boring. I've been looking forward to tonight for the past few hours. How was your afternoon?"

Chakotay shrugged guilelessly. "Also a little boring, not too much happening these days, I'm afraid." Kathryn almost snorted. B'Elanna and Tom just continued to assess their command team sitting a little too innocently. To them, something definately was up.

Within minutes everyone else filed in and found their usual seats around the table, chatting about things Voyager or lack thereof and as always, about home. Everyone agreed that this puzzle looked hard but with almost a sense of pride felt that they, being the senior officers, could accomplish what the rest of the crew had not and would finish the thing before retiring. Tom resisted giving any hints at all and also as usual spent the time telling jokes and keeping everyone entertained.

Chakotay and Kathryn settled into their seats, having taken the opportunity the mass arrival gave them to move their chairs close together again. She knew that the only part of him she could touch without raising suspicion was his hand and she took every chance she could with it. And she learned just how erotic the touch of hands could actually be as he was doing wondrous things to her with only his five fingers touching hers. He made lazy circles on her palm with his thumb, he stroked the inside of her wrist almost excrutiatingly slowly until she was sure her eyes were glazing over. All the while keeping up with the banter and the work which they both found they were enjoying.

Periodically they would break contact almost out of necessity and she would find him glancing down at her, giving her a soft smile. Then the longing would start for her again as his leg pushed against hers, burning the area of contact and spreading warmth throughout her body. At that point she would make a conscious effort to concentrate on the puzzle until she no longer felt as though she were crawling out of her skin and into his lap. But then she would take his hand once more and pull it back under the table, stroking his fingers, tickling his palm with her fingernails, hearing the slight intake of breath he would make that only she noticed, desperate in her desire to feel him lose control. He would break contact again and try to still his pounding heart, taking slow deep breaths that he hoped no one noticed.

Though they were unaware of it, actually no one did notice much. B'Elanna, having been warned by Tom that something serious was afoot, and that likely his gifts had sparked some sort of change, watched Chakotay and the Captain surreptitiously. She merely saw them holding hands off and on, maybe more on than off which was out of the ordinary. She thought at one point that Chakotay seemed a bit disconcerted, taking some slow breaths for no reason she could fathom. She began to wonder about the hand holding.

Actually the puzzle itself was progressing fairly well. It was discovered to be possibly an image of Starfleet, though they really weren't quite sure of that yet. Harry was certain he recognized the San Francisco skyline in the background. Buildings, they learned, were more difficult than natural formations, but little by little they proceeded. And chatted. And laughed. And argued. As all families do.

Kathryn finally couldn't stand sitting there any longer. She was too aroused and the pent up energy drove her out of her chair. She made the excuse that she was going to get something more to drink, grabbed her glass and practically jogged to the galley, needing some privacy to shake off what was consuming her. Once there, she actually considered crawling into the cold storage unit but relented and only kept her face in it for a bit longer than necessary. That not working very well, she took herself to the farthest reaches, behind some shelves, away from the window and shook her hands down at her sides and sort of jumped up and down. Finally something that helped. That's when it all went to hell, for she looked up to see the man she desired coming toward her quickly with a glazed look on his face. He reached her and took her mouth hungrily, pushing her against the counter, wrapping his arms tightly around her as they devoured each other's mouths as quietly as they could. He picked her up easily and deposited her on the counter and they resumed their almost frantic necking, she putting her legs around him, nearly mad with desire for him. She felt his arousal pushing against her and as he spoke her name into her ear she thought she would fall apart right there. They ground their pelvises together, mouths locked, tongues moving in and out, breathing heavily. She had to get them out of there and fast. She gently pushed him back and slid off the counter, tapping her comm as she landed.

"Janeway to transporter room one." she said softly.

"Yes Captain." It sounded like shouting, but she was beyond caring.

"Two to beam site-to-site to Captain's quarters. Now." Their eyes locked as they de-materialized.

Neelix had been wondering what was taking the Captain so long in the galley, and especially since the Commander had high-tailed it after her and now was not returning. He tried to walk quietly to the galley doorway. He could swear he heard heavy breathing,  picking up the distinct sounds of two people making out. He couldn't see anything, however. Just as he decided to back off he heard "Yes Captain." coming from the rear of the galley and could barely make out the distinct shimmering of a transport in progress behind the shelving. Laughing to himself and gathering his composure he went back to the table, intending to tell no one what he had witnessed.

Twenty minutes later alone in the turbolift Chakotay was kissing Kathryn languidly, his hands stroking the arms firmly attached around his neck then moving down to her back, eventually kneading her buttocks, pressing her against him. She could feel every cell in her body responding to his touch as  his heart thudded against her own. Needing to calm herself, she pulled her mouth away from his, resting her head against his chest, listening to the sounds of his breathing and his heart beating, running her hands across him around to his back. He placed his chin on her head and continued with the touches, slowing the urgency down, feeling her breathing under his hand.

"After we're done in there, we'll take our time, over and over again. I don't care how tired I am tomorrow.." he chuckled, tightening his hold of her a bit.

She laughed quietly. "I never imagined my first time with you to be a quickie, but I have to say - it was phenomenal. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to the taking our time part, I have many plans for driving you to distraction..."

"Oh you do? Well I think you did a pretty good job of that already. I love you so much, Kathryn, I can hardly wait to actually get you into a bed, I have plans of my own you know."

"I love you, too, Chakotay. So, are we ready to face everyone again? Remember, act as if nothing happened. They won't dare question their two commanding officers." she laughed again.

"Yes, I'm ready, my love."

"Computer, resume lift. Command code Janeway alpha 4."

Entering the mess hall once more they simply walked to their seats, greeted everyone with a smile and began studying the puzzle on the table. Chakotay asked Harry if he had proven it was indeed San Francisco, as that's what it looked like to him, too. Kathryn stole glances around the table and saw that almost everyone seemed to accept their return as nothing unusual. Everyone except Tom, that is. Meeting his eyes, she saw in his that he had a pretty good idea of what they had been doing, if not where. She nodded silently to him in the acknowledgement that he had a small amount of credit due. She would thank him in private tomorrow, when, hopefully things would return to some semblance of normalcy.

Sure enough, it was an image of Starfleet and of the Academy, sort of a montage. No wonder it had been difficult to figure out they all agreed. It was Chakotay who started finding the pieces that showed people, and more specifically, the senior staff of Voyager. Kathryn was delighted. Each person around the table got to put themselves together and the Captain was chosen to assemble the crew into one unit in the center of the puzzle. She was truly touched when she finally saw the composite group and pleased to see that Chakotay noticed what she had. They sat shoulder to shoulder gazing at it, smiling at each other, oblivious of the rest of the table who were also looking at the image.

It wasn't just the group shown together, it wasn't just that they were back on Earth, and it wasn't just that they were back at Starfleet as one cohesive unit. It was that the Captain and the Commander were placed center front, holding hands, together as a couple with everyone surrounding them, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. And looking around the table, Kathryn noticed that most everyone was smiling as well seeing the group pictured this way. She felt overwhelmed for alot of reasons. Chakotay squeezed her hand under the table but she pulled his back onto her lap then returned the embrace. Tom broke the silence.

"So Captain, Chakotay, you like the puzzle?" he asked innocently.

Kathryn laughed. "Tom Paris, I always suspected you were a hopeless romantic and now I'm sure of it. Yes, I like it very much. From your imagination to God's ears as my grandmother used to say. Chakotay, you like it?" she teased.

"Yes, very much," he grinned. "It's very, how did you put it Tom? Apropos. Yes, definately apropos."

Kathryn chuckled and pulled her hand away from his, put her arm on his chair and lovingly stroked the back of his shoulder and neck. Chakotay left his hand on her thigh,  caressing it with his thumb. She smiled broadly at him, then at Tom. "I agree, apropos. Definately."

Tom looked at the two of them, then at his friends around the table also looking at the two of them and broke into a huge smile of his own. "I see. So do you two have anything you'd like to share with us?"

They looked at each other then nodded. Kathryn took his hand back and they stood up. She smiled at everyone in turn. "Just that we're leaving, we have a date and we most likely will be late for the start of duty shift tomorrow. So we'll tell Mr. Tuvok that he has the bridge until further notice. Chakotay, do you think that covers it?"

He nodded again to her. "All except to say good night. Oh yeah, one more thing - to not call unless there is a dire emergency, something like that would be nice."

"Everybody got that?  Okay, then, good night. Thanks again, Tom, for everything."

"Good night." Chakotay added. They smiled and walked out of the mess hall, finally hearing some good nights by the time they reached the door where they turned and waved.

It was Seven who broke the silence of the stunned crew. "I believe I am confused."

B'Elanna groaned in response.
 
 

the end.

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