Summary: Part 6 of "Home".
Copyright January 2001 Cassatt
Chakotay only needed about fifteen minutes to reach his destination. The house looked like a comfortable place to live, the neighborhood was well cared for with many old trees and a few cats hanging out on the sidewalks ready to start their evening prowls. He had small butterflies in his stomach as he reached for the door pad. He heard the familiar noises of the house computer then the door opened. There was no one on the other side so he entered, calling out a greeting. And nearly jumped a foot when a hand poked him in the back.
He turned around and his heart stopped beating. Kathryn. Once more she was in his arms, this time with laughter rather than tears. This time he never would let her go. This time he could kiss her deeply with all the longing and passion he felt at that moment. This time she could return it all, and did. He was vaguely aware there were no other sounds in the house but their breathing and soft sighs. With reluctance he broke away from her lips and put his forehead to hers.
"Hi."
"Hello." She smiled deeply.
"What the hell are you doing here? You're not supposed to be seeing me."
"I'll keep my eyes closed," she chuckled.
"Kathryn..." He tried to give her a stern look but couldn't do it. He knew his eyes gave it all away.
"Okay, I'll tell you. Mom and Mueller cooked it up. This really is Erin and Bill's house, but they're on vacation at the moment. They won't be back for 4 or 5 days yet. Phoebe just left, she was helping me get the place ready..." She grinned, "isn't it great?"
Chakotay laughed deeply. "I don't think that word describes it adequately. But if anyone finds out I could end up back in the brig, you know."
"Don't worry about that. I took a transporter hop around the bay area before finally getting here. I think there were a couple of vidreporters following but I lost them after the first hub. No one followed me, I'm sure of it. We are on. Our. Own." She pulled away and tugged his hand down the hall. "Come on..."
Bringing him into what looked like a guest bedroom he saw a glass door leading outside. She hit the lighting pad but he turned it off again.
"No, don't. I want to go outside for a minute..." He dropped his bag.
"Do you want something to eat? Drink? A nice, hot shower?"
"Maybe..." He opened the door and stepped out onto the deck, inhaling deeply, looking up at the sky. He could really see the stars here. The moonlight was bright. He thought he had smelled ocean in the air on the short walk here, now he was sure of it. There was an undercurrent of sage. Memories of his Academy days returned, precious time off taken up the coast, walking the cliffs, watching the birds skimming the ocean, trying to relax.
Kathryn watched him and allowed a feeling of peace to settle in her chest. For right now, she could give him a quiet place to prepare for the trial, to dream a bit about the future. For right now. She could also give him something he deserved, from her. She went straight to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, letting her head fall on his chest, taking in his scent, sighing as his arms enfolded her and his mouth brushed the top of her head.
"Chakotay?"
"Hm-m?"
"Can we take a few minutes to talk?"
"Of course. Anything you want, my love."
She pulled away and led him to a chair and small table, "here, sit," she pushed him gently into the chair. She perched herself on the table, facing him, placing her hands on his knees. He covered hers with his strong, warm ones.
"Your hands are cold," he looked at her with concern, "is this serious?"
"You really can read me too well, you know that?"
"I've spent seven years trying to watch out for you."
She took a deep breath. "I know. That's part of what I want to talk about. I want you to hear from me, again, how sorry I am for the past few weeks..."
"Kathryn..."
"No, wait. I need to say this. I know that initially, what happened was just a misunderstanding and that's all behind us. But how I reacted to the situation, how we reacted to it, isn't. Not yet anyway." She took another breath, suddenly her well thought out talk left her mind, and she struggled to gather her thoughts. "Chakotay, you know how much I love you. At least now you do. I, I know I didn't give enough of myself to us while we were on the ship. I let you take the lead whenever things got distant, to try and bring us back. I took advantage of our command roles and I shouldn't have. I'm the one who let our professional lives interfere with our personal life. I took for granted that because you looked out for me as my first officer, you would do the same as my lover. That was wrong of me. It almost cost us everything."
"Kathryn, you're not responsible for how I reacted. I am. I gave up."
"Do you really think you would have done that if things had been more equal between us? You wouldn't have had to question how I really really felt about you, about us. You would have known. You would have asked me why I said Mark's name. You know that's true."
Chakotay pulled her hands into his, holding them tightly, studying them intently. He slowly raised his glance to meet her stare. "You're right, I do know that's true. But now I know that my perceptions of how you felt weren't off, I can believe in them. I do believe in them, in you, in us. And besides, it was my pride that also got involved here." He chuckled softly, "my mother would not be proud of me."
"Why ever not?"
"She always told me, 'Chakotay, remember that love is not a matter of pride. It's a matter of the heart, the belly, not up here'," he pointed to his head, chuckling again. "She was right, as usual. And look at me, spouting philosophies about love being worth the risk and then disappearing when things got really tough."
"Oh, Chakotay, you know what you're talking about. You just didn't count on being involved with a maniacally obsessed, self-absorbed Captain."
He laughed out loud, looking at the earnestness in her face. "You, maniacally obsessed? I prefer the word 'determined'."
She began to laugh along with him. "Yes, me." She brought his hands to her face and kissed each softly. "I just want you to know that from now on, it's going to be different. I won't hide, I won't expect you to be the only one trying to maintain this relationship, I'll try not to keep my feelings and thoughts bottled up, and I very very definitely am never going to let you get away from me again. If I have to beg, plead, get down on my knees to keep you from leaving me, I'll do it. I agree with your mother completely."
"Please, no begging, I don't think I could handle that." He smiled fully at her. "I understand what you're saying. Thank you, Kathryn."
She moved herself from the table to his lap where they enjoyed the closeness, the quiet, the night sounds.
"So no begging?" She asked.
"Well...not like that anyway." He teased.
"I thought you liked it when I begged," she said a little huskily, beginning to kiss his neck.
He brought her hand to his mouth, giving some attention to a few fingers. "I like giving you a bit of erotic torture, the begging is just a bonus." He pulled one of the fingers onto his tongue, then back out. "So...did I hear you say a nice, hot shower?"
She moved her mouth away from his neck, heading for his cheek. "Yes, nice. And hot."
"Will you join me?"
She caressed his face tenderly. "I can't think of anything I would rather do at the moment."
The hot water hit Chakotay's muscles and he groaned. "Spirits, you have no idea how horrific that sonic shower in the brig was. They likely hadn't had an engineer look at it in years. Not to mention the bed. This feels too damned good..."
Kathryn grabbed the soap. "Your back?"
He nodded and turned, letting the water run down his face and chest.
"God, Chakotay, have you been working out?" Kathryn felt him tense up under her hands. She heard him mumble something. "What?"
He turned again and she was struck by the hooded look in his eyes. "I said, yes, in hell. That's what I called it. The workout in hell. You had no idea?"
"No, I mean I know that you spent some time boxing, B'Elanna let it slip while we were trying to get one of the systems to download. I checked on you a few times and you were on the holodeck...what aren't you telling me?"
He rubbed his face with both hands, then slowly removed them. "I spent an average of five hours a day in the gym. Just hitting and being hit. Well, the being hit part became less and less, but the hitting never stopped. It took the pain away, at least for the time. But then I'd be back in my quarters and I would....well, then I'd go back and start again. Over and over and over." He waited for the condemnation.
What he got instead was Kathryn wrapping her arms around him, burying her face against him, beginning to shake. He held her tightly to him, feeling his heart open anew. When the shaking stopped he cupped her head and pulled it away from him to look her in the eye.
"Why were you crying?"
"It breaks my heart to think of what you were going through. To remember what I went through..."
"I'm sorry, Kathryn. Let's try something?"
She nodded.
"Let's forgive ourselves."
She gave a half-hearted smile. "You never ask for the easy things, do you?"
He shook his head and smiled, "neither do you. That's why we love each other."
"I'll work on it." She pulled him back against her, relishing the feel of his skin against her cheek, his arms wrapping around her again.
"I will, too. Now. Unless we want to make love in here, which frankly I don't think I have the strength for at the moment, we should finish washing so we can go be comfortable. That bed looked very inviting..." His head bent to lay kisses on her neck.
By the time the covers were pulled back they were more than ready. The foreplay during the remainder of the shower was extensive, sometimes inadvertent, sometimes deliberate, all of it done between deep and intense kisses. Drying each other off with soft, plush non-regulation towels was almost more than they could stand, sending them racing to the bed.
They loved each other like long time lovers do, knowing how to give pleasure and receive it. Rolling around the mattress, changing positions at whim, they were both aware of the difference however, from times past. There was no one to hear them through the walls, no one about to call them over the comm, no klaxon about to blare. For the time they were in the bed, their minds and hearts were solely focused on each other as they celebrated their renewal, reconnecting with each other in the most basic way. And when he finally entered her, and they joined as one, they recommitted themselves, restoring what had almost broken beyond repair. Their climaxes were long, and soul searing. Their words of love intense, their tears freely flowing as they held and rocked each other in the afterglow.
Laying together with legs entwined and sleep tickling their brains, Kathryn heard Chakotay's stomach growl. They both chuckled softly. Then hers answered. She propped herself up to look at the chronometer, seeing there was a little more than an hour before the news broadcast. She groaned, putting her head back down on his chest.
"I've missed this, Kath."
"What, my groaning?" She laughed.
"That's certainly part of it," he smiled, "but really just this, being with you."
She raised herself again, reaching out to stroke his face, trace the lines of his tatoo, checking to be sure everything was still as she knew it to be. "I have, too."
Chakotay smiled to himself. Kathryn always traced his tatoo after they made love, it was almost a ritual. If she ever stopped doing it, he'd know they were in trouble.
"We have to get up," she said. "I promised Commander Mueller I'd download the broadcast, to see how they covered your arraignment. Besides, I think you're hungry..."
It was his turn to groan. He didn't want to think about the arraignment, and all of it, not just then. But. He knew he had to. "Okay. Any food here?"
"Yes. I'll help." She laughed at the look of horror on his face. "Well? What?"
"This I have to see. I seem to remember some interesting, um, experiments on New Earth. You and the kitchen. Not that you did much better with your replicator..."
She leaned in and kissed him soundly and deeply. "Things have changed since then my love." He rolled her.
"Yes, they have. And only for the better..." He fell on her mouth and she melted into the bed in response. He stopped. They smiled at each other. "Okay, I know. Up. Or should I say, remove ourselves from this wonderfully comfortable bed." She nodded.
Chakotay laid a fire while Kathryn scrounged the beginnings of dinner. He came into the kitchen area and watching her, broke out laughing.
"Kathryn. I didn't realize that you really were actually inept with a knife, I thought you were really just faking it so I would do all the cooking..." He couldn't stop laughing.
"What did I do?"
"I think that zucchini would be hard-pressed to explain it to you. You're not supposed to mash it, you're supposed to cut it into uniform pieces! Here, move, work on the rice or the drinks or something..."
"Hey! I can do a lot of things well, some extraordinarily well. The kitchen just isn't one of the places I learned much. You knew what you were getting! No fair making fun of me now..." She picked up a piece of zucchini and threw it at him.
"You were the one who said things had changed! Give me that knife before you hurt yourself...or me!" He was still chuckling, especially to see her try and give him the death glare. "And don't start that Captain Janeway look, love, you've got nothing to back it up with in here. Go. Boil some water. If you can..." He started to laugh in earnest again, taking the knife from her and lining up the rest of the vegetables, slicing them quickly.
"You, sir, are entirely too happy at the moment. Giving me orders..." She slapped him on the butt, chuckling in spite of herself. She almost made it to the other counter when two hands grabbed her waist and spun her around as she cried out in surprise. A deeply smiling Chakotay took her mouth hungrily, pushing her back against the counter. She felt her desire rise rapidly from the pit of her stomach, wanting nothing more than to somehow make it somewhere so she could tear his clothes off...
He stopped as suddenly as he'd started. "Now, Kathryn. New rules. In here, I am permanently in charge, except for clean up and getting out utensils. You will be a trainee. And if you slap me on the butt again, this will be the result," he grinned, "understood?"
"Is that a promise? That's all I have to do?" She grinned back.
"Yes. Boil some water." He kissed her nose, turned and returned to his chopping.
Curled up together on the couch with a fire nicely burning, they ate their dinner of rice, real Earth grown vegetables with an herb sauce and iced tea. Kathryn had found the computer access pad and programmed in the broadcast for download, making sure there was a fresh chip in the machine. She wanted copies of everything.
The computer came on suddenly, two newsheads talking silently. She quickly put their plates down, hit the sound button on the table and lay back against Chakotay's chest as he put an arm around her. She sighed. He kissed her hair.
Chakotay wasn't sure how he could be more content than at that moment. Although, the words "Starship Voyager" broke into his reverie and he knew. Kathryn gave a yelp and turned the volume up.
"....as we reported last night, yesterday was a momentous day for Starfleet as the Federation Starship Voyager returned to Earth after a long, arduous journey from the Delta Quadrant. It was seven years ago that the ship was taken, by force, to be stranded 70,000 light years from Federation space. The celebration quickly turned to drama, however, when it was learned that the first officer of Voyager, Commander Chakotay, was taken into custody on an eight year old arrest warrant stemming from his work as a Maquis Captain.
The Commander was arraigned this afternoon in an unexpectedly dramatic fashion. We take you now to our own Lisa Landry, who has a live update from Starfleet HQ. Lisa?"
A young, blond woman appeared, standing on the sidewalk outside of HQ.
"Thank you, Dick. As you can see behind me, Starfleet HQ is quiet now, belying the drama that played out here this afternoon..."
Vidfeed started, showing HQ in afternoon light, then the inside of the hearing room. In walked Chakotay flanked by security personnel, the camera trying to capture him over the backs of crew members...
"...The hearing room was packed with crew members from the Starship Voyager, in full uniform, who stood at attention as the Commander came into the room. They showed their support in many ways..."
There was a close-up of Naomi with her arms around Chakotay's neck, some hands slapping his back...
"...But none more dramatic than the action the crew took as the Commander gave his plea."
There was full sound this time, with a clip showing Chakotay being asked for his plea, him standing, turning to see the entire crew standing with him, turning back to declare forcefully 'Not guilty', and everyone sitting down together.
**Kathryn took Chakotay's hand and they gripped each other tightly.**
"...Long time observers of the courtroom have told this reporter they've never seen anything like it before. Afterwards, the crew took a moment to speak to reporters, Commander Chakotay having been led away by his attorney, the renowned Lt. Com. John Mueller. Voyager Captain Kathryn Janeway was the spokesperson for the group..."
Full sound and vidfeed started again, showing Kathryn out front, with B'Elanna, Tom, Tuvok, Harry, Neelix, and Seven directly behind her and the rest of the crew close behind them, coming out the doors, some still slapping each other on the back. The sound of vidcameras whirring, the rustling of bodies...
"...I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. We've come here, obviously, to show support for our First Officer, Commander Chakotay, whom we feel has been unjustly arrested. We wanted him to know we are behind him, 100%. He was unaware we would be here."
"Captain, first of all let me say 'welcome home' to you from the people of Earth. When did you learn of the Commander's arrest?"
Kathryn gave them her warmest smile, "Thank you, we are very glad to be home." Her face became serious. "I learned, we all learned, of his arrest within minutes of our stepping off the shuttles at the docking port. Up until that time, I had been assured the Commander would be receiving a full and complete pardon, which is what he deserved for the unending acts of heroism he showed to all of us on our journey. We wouldn't have made it back without him."
"Captain, isn't it true, however, that Commander Chakotay was a Maquis renegade you were pursuing at the time you both were taken into the Delta Quadrant?"
"It is true that we were on a mission to follow the Maquis ship, but I believe that once the entire story is told people will see that it was not a concrete good vs. evil situation. The Commander had his reasons for joining the Maquis and I trust people will keep an open mind in an effort to understand the full spectrum of Commander Chakotay's character."
**Chakotay whispered into Kathryn's ear, "Thank you." "Anytime, honey," she replied.**
"... rumours are everywhere about the tatoo on the Commander's forehead, that it symbolizes how many people the Maquis have killed."
Kathryn shook her head, muttering something under her breath to B'Elanna. "That is a complete fabrication. The Commander's tatoo has a deep spiritual significance to him and his tribe, a tribe of Native Americans who left Earth some 300 years ago to colonize a planet that eventually was abandoned by the Federation in the Neutral Zone. The Commander actually made an important scientific discovery concerning this tatoo out in the Delta Quadrant. I believe he is anxious to deliver his findings to the IAA, the Inter-Planetary Anthropological Association, once his pardon has been granted."
**"I guess I better get started on that paper" he chuckled.**
"Captain, is it true that Admiral Paris of Starfleet had a son on Voyager? Wasn't it Admiral Paris who ordered the arrest of Commander Chakotay?"
Kathryn looked at Tom and B'Elanna, who both nodded. "Yes, it is true that our pilot, Lt. Tom Paris, is the Admiral's son. In fact, he now has a daughter-in-law, Lt. B'Elanna Torres Paris, and a grandchild on the way from Voyager as well." B'Elanna rubbed her belly absently. "Admiral Paris' son broke warp-10 during our journey, and his new daughter-in-law was our Chief Engineer, who kept the ship going against all odds." Kathryn put her arm around B'Elanna. "She also is a former Maquis who worked with the Commander before our crews joined forces 7 years ago. As far as the arrest warrant is concerned, I have no comment."
A number of reporters spoke at once "Mr. Paris, can we have a statement from you?" "Mrs. Paris?" Together, they shook their heads, saying, "No comment."
"Captain, just one more question. Is it true that you and the Commander are, well, romantically involved?"
Kathryn flashed them all her beautiful smile. "No comment. Thank you for taking the time to listen to us." And with that they all turned and headed down the hallway, away from the reporters...
"...As our viewers can see, Captain Janeway and her crew remain steadfastly behind the Commander. This reporter attempted to reach Admiral Paris for a statement but was turned away, though it did appear a family gathering of some sort was happening at the Admiral's residence. There are a number of interesting facets to this story that we will be following up on in the near future. And of course, I will be attending the trial that commences next week. The Commander has gone into seclusion. The Captain has been unavailable for further comment."
The talking heads appeared again. "Thank you, Lisa. In other news...."
Kathryn turned it off and settled back against Chakotay.
"Well," he said quietly, "that was a very weird experience. Seeing us up there, knowing how many people probably watched that tonight."
"I think our lives are about to get even weirder, if that's possible."
"You looked good, Kath, I was impressed. You didn't even look nervous."
"Well, first contact is first contact. That's how I tried to look on it anyway. Depending upon how it goes, I may be the person Mueller has talking to the press throughout your trial. Unless it gets too crazy, then he'll do it."
Chakotay was quiet. He took a deep breath, expelling it with a sigh. "You know, I owe everyone an apology. They deserved more from me those final weeks, much much more. I was supposed to be their source of support."
Kathryn sat up straight and turned to him. "Look, you faithfully supported them, cared for them, took care of all of the daily crap of their lives and ours up there for seven long, tough years. All they ever said to me was how worried they were for you. They wanted to help you, they knew you were in pain. They would have done anything to help you. You've got to know that. They needed to be there today, to show you how much they love you."
"Well, it certainly astounded me. I thought I wasn't going to be able to give my plea there for a second."
"Do you know who thought of that? To have everyone stand with you?"
Chakotay thought for a moment but couldn't pick one person over another. He shook his head.
"Tom."
"You're kidding."
"No, I'm not. Tom thought of it, almost shyly, as a matter of fact. When he told me I thought I would cry. It snowballed from there, everyone called two others and pretty soon there were almost 70 crew members who were going to show up. Mueller thought it would be good publicity. We did it for you." She reached out and touched his cheek.
"They are a remarkable group of people, Kathryn, aren't they? However did we manage to get them to work together?"
"I certainly couldn't have done it alone."
Chakotay stared at the fire, lost in thought. Kathryn settled back against the couch and put her hand in his, which he covered with his other and brought onto his lap.
"Chakotay, are you alright?"
He looked at her. "Yes, I think so. I promised myself I would take a vision quest before I went to sleep tonight. I think I'd like to do that now. They took my medicine bundle away from me, it was horrible. No one is supposed to touch it unless I allow it..."
She made to rise. "I'll go find you a few candles. And clean up."
Chakotay retrieved his bundle from the bedroom and got settled on the floor in front of the fireplace, where Kathryn met him with the candles. She squatted and took his face in her hands.
"I love you, you know. Wake me up when you come to bed, I can hold you." She leaned in and kissed him.
"I love you, Kathryn."
As she got settled under the covers she heard the soft sounds of his voice drifting down the hallway.
"Akoochimoyah, akoochimoyah. I am far away from the home of my grandfathers...."
She was asleep as soon as her eyes closed.
Chakotay didn't have the heart to wake her, she was so deeply asleep. Instead, he curled himself around her, pulling her against him and soon drifted off himself. His father spoke softly in his ear throughout the night, reminding him of his home, his ancestors, the rubber tree people, the forests, the open sky and the endless mesas.
The next morning after breakfast they received a call from Mueller and one from Gretchen. She told Kathryn Starfleet had been trying to reach her to schedule an appointment. She took the opportunity to say hello to Chakotay, a twinkle in her eye. He assured her after questioning that he found the accomodations at Erin and Bill's quite to his liking. The two of them chatted a bit more, Kathryn a bit astounded at their apparent delight in talking with each other.
She knew her mother was taken with him, she just didn't realize how much he had bonded with her also. She knew then that if she ever split with Chakotay, she'd be in big trouble with her mother. She smiled to herself as she was setting up her appointment for that afternoon, eager to get the interview over with so she and Chakotay could go for a walk, she didn't care where, just out.
Mueller's conversation was lengthy, the news conference being the primary topic. He was very pleased with how well it had gone, suitably impressed with Kathryn's composure and ability to think on her feet. Chakotay reminded him gently that he shouldn't be, considering what she had accomplished.
The attorney bowed, smiling, with an apology which Kathryn, smiling, accepted. He then continued, "The best thing about the news conference is that Chakotay has been described as a hero, a spiritually commited man, a scientist, a man who has the total respect of a Starfleet crew, and possibly a man worthy of the love of a very popular Captain. This is just great, you two, just great. Starfleet is going to try and pursuade the tribunal that the Commander is an outlaw, a renegade, a morally bereft human being and a criminal. We've already thrown down the gauntlet and I, for one, couldn't be more pleased."
Chakotay was quiet, trying to sort out a number of different emotions.
"Commander?" Mueller looked concerned.
"I appreciate what was said about me but I have to say that I am uncomfortable having my personal traits discussed in public. I don't like it, though I understand the need to do it." Kathryn reached out and squeezed his hand gently.
"I know, Commander, and I sympathize. This next week is going to be difficult, I can't tell you it will all be fine. They are, starting today, taking statements from your crew. Even with the logs that were sent for the past year, they're going to try and get the crew to say things, to twist their words around. They might succeed in some cases, but on the whole they aren't going to get too far."
Kathryn spoke up. "I have my appointment with the tribunal authorities this afternoon. I don't want to feel like I need permission, but Chakotay and I would like to go out and do some normal things, shopping, take a walk. Do you think it will be all right to do that once I have clearance to see him, so to speak?"
"Well, I can't see the harm in it. They are going to try and use your relationship to make it appear that you are biased but I can show it's relatively new and your logs of the first few years are unaffected. Now whether or not that's true, I don't care. I can show it to be so. Your mother has confided that you two have had feelings for one another for quite awhile, but even considering that, they are concentrating on the time of the leap into the Delta Quadrant. So I think we're safe. And .... hm-m-m, well, it certainly can't do any harm to let the public see a little bit of the romance. Everyone loves love, after all..." Mueller began making notes on the small console in front of him, talking to himself.
Chakotay broke in, "Now, wait a minute. I don't want Kathryn and myself splashed all over the place. We just got out of a fishbowl, I won't be put into another."
"No, Commander, don't worry, I won't do that. Just don't hide, go about your normal activities. If you run into anyone who recognizes you, smile and move on. Captain, I know I'm not your attorney, but I assume you've reviewed your early log entries?"
"Yes, I've been doing that since Chakotay was arrested."
"Okay. Now, if you begin to feel uncomfortable during the questioning today, you are well within your rights to stop and request your own counsel. Call me and I'll find someone to assist you. Let's try to keep your career intact as well."
"Thank you," Kathryn replied. They set up a time to meet and review what Starfleet asked her, Mueller advised Chakotay to relax and to call if he had questions any time, and the transmission was ended. Chakotay immediately got up and stalked outside through another set of glass doors off the kitchen where he sat heavily on a wooden chair, placing his head in his hands.
Kathryn watched him go, debating whether to leave him alone or follow. She couldn't leave him alone. On the deck with him, she pulled up a chair and sat, stroking a hand across his shoulders in silence.
He finally raised his head, resting his chin on clasped hands. "Relax, he says! Just how the hell am I supposed to do that? Your career is on the line, too." He slapped his palms on his knees, "I should have plead guilty and taken the punishment, I should have. Why should you suffer because of choices I made? How long could they send me away for? Five years? Ten?"
She wasn't surprised, but she was a touch angry. "And how can you make that decision for me? Why shouldn't you receive some credit for everything you did out there? Every time you put your life on the line for us, for me? Have you chosen to forget what you did the very first day? Within hours of meeting me and my crew? And if you think that I'm making a choice to sacrifice my career in all this, it's not going to happen. BUT, you listen to me. IF I had to make that choice it would be a no-brainer."
"What are you saying? Kathryn Janeway leaves Starfleet because of a man?"
"Not a man, THE man. In terms of my career, I don't know what the hell I want to do. I am exhausted, and I want nothing more than to take a very very long break. With you. But right now, we are fighting to keep you out of prison because you don't deserve to be there, and because I won't be able to stand it if you are there, and because we both deserve a helluva lot better than to be kept apart. Seven years is too long to wait."
Chakotay sighed deeply. "I hate this, Kath."
Kathryn took his hand in hers. "I know. I do too."
The breeze carried coastal scents to them as they sat, together, in silence.
Lunch over, Kathryn was preparing for her trip to Starfleet, putting on her uniform with a touch of frustration. Usually she was proud to wear it. However, this one was not only outdated, she had worn it nearly every day for the past seven years. Civilian clothes had never felt so good, even if they were outdated, too. Retrieving her pips off the dresser, she took a moment to pick up Chakotay's insignia, running a fingertip along the surface. He should be wearing three pips, all shiny silver, she thought. Nothing less.
Standing at the doorway saying goodbye struck both of them as a strange leap into normalcy. They realized they needed it, and chuckled together as they hugged. Kathryn even turned at the end of the walk to wave which only brought out more laughter from each. Walking to the transporter hub, her console case over her shoulder, she thought she could get used to this. Her pace picked up.
Back at home, Chakotay was gathering things to begin work on the paper for the IAA. That is if they would be interested in it. He found he was quite looking forward to exercising his grey matter, eager to return to his work, interested in what he would find after more research. A trip to the library appeared imminent and he couldn't wait.
When Kathryn arrived at the hub there were a few people waiting and she joined the line. She felt someone looking at her as she was thinking about her upcoming interview and other tasks she meant to accomplish at HQ. She turned around and found the blue eyes of a 9 or 10 year old girl staring at her.
"Hello," she said to the girl, "is there something I can do for you?"
The girl hesitated. "Are you in Starfleet?"
"Yes, I am. I just have a slightly older uniform. I've been away for awhile and don't have my new one yet."
The girl's face lit up with comprehension. "You're the Captain of Voyager, aren't you? I saw you on the news last night."
Kathryn was taken aback for a moment. She cleared her throat. "Yes, I am. I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway." She put out her hand and the girl took it, shaking solemnly.
"You just got back from the Delta Quadrant. We've been learning all about that since last year, and my teacher told us that you were finally coming home. He also told us that you and your crew were very brave, and all about Starfleet, and your ship. I want to be a scientist in Starfleet, too. Do you think I could have your autograph? If it's not too much trouble?"
Kathryn was stunned. She felt tears prick behind her eyes and was forced to take a few deep breaths before she could speak again. "Of course, I would be happy to." She took the piece of paper and writing utensil from the girl's hand. "What's your name?"
"Anna."
Kathryn wrote, 'To Anna, don't forget to reach for the stars, Sincerely, Captain Kathryn Janeway.' Under her name she added 'Federation Starship Voyager' and the date. After she gave it to Anna, who looked at it with awe, Kathryn saw a woman who was likely Anna's mother approach them. The girl excitedly showed her the piece of paper. The woman looked at Kathryn and smiled.
"Thank you, Captain. This means a lot to her. She's showing a real aptitude for science, we think it must be in the genes. She absorbs things as quickly as her teachers and her father can give them to her. She does, you know, have an image of Voyager over her desk. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to talk to her. She's going to be the hit of the playground tomorrow."
"Well, I can't tell you what this means to me. I had people I looked up to when I was her age and I never thought I'd be in that position in my lifetime. If she really does end up wanting to be in Starfleet, you get in contact with me. I'll look over her records and if they're as good as I imagine they will be I'll sponsor her entry. I won't forget, I promise."
"Thank you for your offer, Captain. My name is Emmaline Hansen. Do you mind me asking - are you staying nearby? We live just a few blocks from here. I don't mean to impose, but if you need anything at all, you be sure to find us. And welcome home."
"Thank you Ms. Hansen... Hansen? Are you related to the scientists named Hansen who disappeared into deep space about twenty years ago? They had a daughter named Annika. I know Hansen is a fairly common name..." Kathryn was thinking about the difficulties Starfleet had encountered in tracking down Seven's family, finding both public and private records expunged. This would be way too much of a coincidence however.
"Well, I took my husband's name, so I don't know. It's a fairly large family, but I'd be happy to ask him. Any reason in particular?"
Kathryn wasn't certain exactly how to answer that question. Starfleet wanted to keep Seven's situation somewhat quiet until they were done with their poking and prodding, something that caused untold feelings to settle in Kathryn's stomach. "I really can't say much, but we ran into Annika in the Delta Quadrant. Her parents ... died and records of their relations have been difficult to find here on Earth. If you promise to keep this confidential, here's where I'm staying. I'd appreciate you contacting me if your husband knows anything, anything at all." She found a scrap of paper and a writing utensil in her own bag.
"I promise I won't give this to anyone. I saw the broadcast last night, I understand your need for privacy right now."
They shook hands. "Thank you," Kathryn said warmly. She went quickly to the transporter pad, her mind and emotions reeling. Within minutes she was entering Starfleet HQ, heading for what she sincerely hoped would not resemble an inquisition.
The interview actually went much more easily than she expected. As Mueller suspected, the questions were mostly centered around the first few months of their life in the Delta Quadrant. She detected no overt hostility from the tribunal prosecutor, but there was an undercurrent of condescension that she couldn't quite figure out. Kathryn wasn't sure if he had actually read all of her log entries, or Tuvok's, or even Chakotay's, or if he was working from a summary. The instances as they occured didn't seem to correlate with his line of questioning. At one point he even implied that Chakotay's Maquis crew had attempted to mutiny, having planned all along a takeover of Voyager.
Kathryn was doubly glad that she, Tuvok and Chakotay had made the decision to keep the more recent "mutiny" out of log entries. Looking back on that meeting, it hadn't taken too much genius to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what Starfleet would have done with that little bit of information. Mind control or not, Chakotay wouldn't have stood a chance in hell right now of getting a pardon.
So it was with great relief that she finally left the office, unsure what they had actually gained, which was fine with her. She was free. They were free to be together at least for now.
Kathryn failed in her attempts to see the Admiral in charge of medical personnel, having to make an appointment for later that week. She went to the EMH lab, however, and told the lieutenant to grant her access to Voyager's EMH. She planned on having a little talk with the Doctor before she gave him his surprise.
"Captain! How long have I been inactive?"
"Well, Doctor, just about four days, but a lot has happened in that time. We'll get to that in just a little minute. You owe me an explanation, Doctor. Why did you tell Lt. Barclay about me and the Commander?"
The Doctor looked a little chagrined, raised himself up to his full height and attempted to look down his nose at Kathryn. "Captain. You are referring to, what, your feelings for the Commander?"
"Doctor, don't make me order you. Why did you tell Lt. Barclay that I was in love with the Commander?!"
"What am I missing? You are."
"But I wasn't when you said that."
"Captain. I may be a hologram, but I believe I do have an understanding of human love. Of course you were. Look what you did with Michael, the hologram."
"Doctor. You're walking on thin ice..."
"Well, maybe it's just my own guilty conscience talking, if I had one. I'm the one who told you you couldn't have a relationship with a member of the crew. Then you proceeded to change Michael's program which, to my way of thinking, made Michael more and more like the Commander. I often thought you should have just put a tatoo on his forehead and been done with it."
Kathryn stared at him. Then felt a ripple of laughter snaking up from her belly, finally erupting in a complete break down. Calming down, she tried to explain the ramifications of his actions, but gave up after a minute of blank looks. She then filled him in on Chakotay's situation and eventually pulled out the mobile holographic emitter from her bag, attaching it to his sleeve. Kathryn and B'Elanna had agreed to keep the emitter out of Starfleet's hands until the right moment, trusting the Captain would know when that was. The promises made to the Doctor, to keep his program active if possible, seemed more feasible with the emitter in their back pocket. But for now, the Doctor had a friend to visit. She told the Doctor she would see him in Seven's 'quarters' and turned the emitter, and him, off, taking his program with her.
Entering Seven's living area, Kathryn was dismayed to see how sterile it was. She had hoped that once back on Earth, Seven would have something better than this. It was a notch up from the cargo bay, but not by much. Seven, however, was quite happy to see her, a not-often-seen smile gracing her face.
"Captain. I am very pleased to see you."
"Seven, Annika, I'm happy to see you, too. I've brought a friend." She pulled out the emitter and the Doctor appeared. Kathryn left them to their reunion, hurrying out with assurances she would return, heading to her meeting with Owen Paris. Her mind was already turning over every agenda item on her list, hoping his questions didn't get too personal. She wasn't quite prepared yet to deal with that.
"Have a seat, Kathryn, it's nice to see you."
Sitting, she studied his face, somewhat assured he meant it. "Thank you for seeing me today. After our last 'meeting' I thought perhaps you might put me off."
"I would never do that. I understood completely why you were upset, let's just forget about that. Now, what can I do for you, besides talk about how you're doing."
She ignored that topic. "Actually, Admiral, I was wanting to find out how B'Elanna is adjusting, from your perspective. I am concerned about her, she and the Commander are very close, like brother and sister, and since she can't visit him, well I can imagine she might be making it difficult for you to get to know her. You can, of course, tell me to butt out..."
"How can I tell my grandchild's godparent to butt out?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye. "B'Elanna. I find I like her immensely. She is brilliant, isn't she? Tom, I've never known Tom to be so happy, so...content. He tells me that she has quite a temper, but we've yet to see it. She does appear to be quite upset about the Commander's situation and determined to see he be freed. She's mentioned more than once that she feels if he goes to prison, she should, too. I'm afraid her feelings for me...may include some resentment. That she wasn't arrested, too. I, frankly, don't know if her new relationship with me had anything to do with it. I doubt it, but I can't convince her of it, as I have no proof. I've been taken out of the loop, as they say. So does that answer your question?"
"Yes. I'll give her a call tonight. I'm glad you've found some time to see her good qualities. Yes, she is brilliant. I meant what I've said in my reports and logs. Voyager would not have made it back without her, well, creative engineering. We benefitted from the Maquis influence in more ways than I can explain."
"I'm sure," he said with a small smile playing on his face. "And now I'll have not only one ex-Maquis in the family, but possibly two. That is, if the Commander has agreed to be the other godparent."
Kathryn looked at the expression on his face. She sighed to herself. "Yes, I believe he has agreed. He will be a good influence on the child, don't worry."
"I'm not. And as soon as the trial is over, we plan on throwing a party for the crew, in honor of the baby. I trust that if the Commander is released, he will join you in attending? That is if he stays on Earth at that point."
This was not going as Kathryn had planned. "Admiral..."
He interrupted her. "You know, Kathryn, I'm trying to give you an opening here. I'm on your side."
This time her sigh was audible. "I'd hoped to, I don't know what, keep my professional life and personal life separate for another few days at least. It sounds as though that's useless. So who told you? Tom? Barclay? My mother?"
Admiral Paris laughed. "Barclay?! That poor man can hardly get a sentence out in my presence. I won't even ask. No, it was something your mother let slip some months back. Just a little comment. I've been putting the clues together. So how long has this relationship with the Commander been going on?"
"Before I answer that, who else knows in Starfleet?"
"I'm not sure. I've heard some rumours floating back from the tribunal authorities over the past week."
"Damn. The hell with it. Excuse my language. Chakotay and I have been involved for about seven or eight months." She gave him the condensed version.
"Come on, Kathryn, that's all? Seven years out there together, twelve weeks quarantined together on a planet, working side by side. You can tell me the truth."
"I don't know that I choose to, unless this is an order. I don't want to justify falling in love with someone very very far away from home, not knowing when we would ever return."
"Not just someone. Your first officer. A Maquis renegade you were sent to arrest. A man with a warrant over his head."
She felt the hot pit of anger swell in her breast. "You don't need to remind me of the facts, Admiral. I realize this will put my career in danger, hell, if every other choice I made out there hasn't done that already. I did everything I could to put him off! I spouted protocols protocols protocols until I was blue in the face. For years! In the end, well, let's just say I gave up the fight."
"I am amazed at your fortitude, Kathryn," he smiled, "waiting years for something you wanted must have put a great deal of strain on you. And him. He must be a remarkable man."
Kathryn took a good look at him, sitting across the desk, his hands clasped in front of him, a smile on his face. She finally laughed softly. "He is. More than anyone in Starfleet will ever understand. And trust me, we will get him his pardon. If we have to flood the vidmedia with tales of heroism, we'll do it. It doesn't take a lot to put that label on him."
"For your sake, I hope the pardon is granted. The Federation has other ideas, however."
Kathryn shook her head in frustration. "Do you know how absurd this is? You and I are sitting here, talking a bit about your grandchild, your son and daughter-in-law, I'm planning on what to get the baby for the inevitable shower. None of this would be happening without Chakotay. I wouldn't be sitting here, and neither would your family, safe in your house! That has to count for something!"
"It does, Kathryn, it does. Now, trust me in this much. I'll do whatever I can to support you. I don't think your career is going to suffer because you're in love. This is a long-term relationship I assume?" She nodded in response. "Good. That makes a difference. Get the pardon. Try not to worry about your job."
She felt a weight lift off her shoulders, one she hadn't acknowledged even existed. "Thank you, Owen. Now, can I get to the remaining real item on my agenda?"
They spoke of the Doctor, Kathryn reiterating what she had put in her reports, asking the Admiral to help her by talking to his counterpart in Medical Staffing, as well as Dr. Zimmerman. He willingly agreed. She then decided to take him to visit the good Doctor.
Admiral Paris looked questioningly at Kathryn as they by-passed the corridor that led to the EMH laboratory. She merely smiled in response, leading him onward to the turbolift. Approaching Seven's quarters a man's voice singing opera floated to them. Kathryn stole a glance at Owen smiling to herself at the look of surprise on his face.
"...Doctor I believe you were a semi-tone off on the third note of the twelfth stanza."
"That is impossible, Seven."
"Perhaps you should have Lieutenant Torres check your vocal sub-routine." Seven then saw her commanding officer enter, and stood, causing the Doctor to turn and stand as well.
"Doctor," Kathryn said with a smile, "I thought it was beautiful. I detected no semi-tone problem. Admiral," she took the Doctor's arm bringing him forward, "I'd like you to meet Voyager's EMH. Doctor, this is Admiral Owen Paris, Tom's father."
"But how? There are no emitters here," Paris asked.
The Doctor responded with enthusiasm. "I am fully mobile, thanks to this little piece of 29th century technology we acquired," he pointed to the emitter, "and may I say that it was a pleasure to work with your son? Well, once he settled into his role, that is. He turned out to be a fine medic."
"Thank you for saying so. Now, who is going to explain this?"
Kathryn gave him the barest of information about the emitter, referring him to the log entries concerning their time traveling to Los Angeles, an idea forming in the back of her mind. The four of them chatted for a while longer, giving the Admiral a chance to talk with Voyager's two most unusual crewmembers in a relaxed setting. And after the Doctor had a chance to say goodbye to Seven, Kathryn took him offline, preparing to leave.
"Captain," Seven met Kathryn's eyes intently, "I find that I am becoming quite bored. I miss the crew interactions. I wouldn't even mind a ping-pong tournament right now. This transition is, more difficult than I anticipated. I would like to see Naomi Wildman and Icheb, perhaps Neelix, if that would be possible."
"I know, Seven, Annika. I'm trying to get this process speeded up for you, they seemed to have little trouble releasing Icheb quickly. I'll see what I can do, call Samantha, arrange a visit, soon. Very soon. In the meantime, here's the access code for where I'm staying. Call me anytime, day or night, if you need some company."
Seven took the proffered note gratefully. "I will continue to do what they ask of me, of course. Thank you, Captain. And for bringing the Doctor."
"You're more than welcome, Annika. There'll be another night out, maybe this weekend and with the trial starting next week, we'll all be together. We haven't deserted you. We'll talk soon, I promise."
Out in the corridor, Owen turned to Kathryn, holding out his hand. "The mobile emitter, Kathryn?"
She smiled to herself, digging it out of her bag. "You know, Admiral, if you have any questions about how this works, you really should talk to B'Elanna. She was the genius who kept it going, adjusted the Doctor's subroutines, allowed for the expansion of his program. She and Harry did the programming, she alone kept this emitter working." There, B'Elanna, there's your chance to get to know your father-in-law on your own terms. Take it.
Back on the streets and happy to be there, Kathryn called home on a public vidphone. Her heart skipped a beat seeing the smiling face greeting her.
"Hi. How did it all go?" Chakotay asked.
"On the whole, well. I'll tell you all about it when I see you."
"We might not have time. I took the opportunity to invite Gretchen and Phoebe over for dinner."
How could he be any more considerate? "Thank you, Chakotay. I was calling about them, too. What's the schedule?"
"Go to the hotel and meet them, they're waiting. Then stop by the provisions store and pick up five tomatoes, parmesan cheese, a cucumber, lettuce, one more zucchini and some fresh bread. Oh, and a bottle of wine." His grin was entirely too broad.
"Are you having fun? Giving me orders again?" She entered the list in a PADD.
"Actually, I am. And go easy on the zuke, okay?" He chuckled with both dimples showing.
She stared at him. "You will pay for that zucchini remark."
"Is that a promise?"
"Yes," she smiled.
"Good, I'm sure you'll think of something creative. Come home, Kath. I miss you."
"I'm on my way. I love you," she said softly.
"I love you, too."
She left for the hotel with a bounce in her step that hadn't been there walking through HQ.
Walking through the transporter hub with Gretchen and Phoebe, Kathryn noticed that a number of people were watching her. She'd see them out of the corner of her eye. If she turned they sometimes smiled and nodded, sometimes looked quickly away. It was disconcerting, disturbing. She didn't like it.
The three of them walked to the provisions store, mother buying bread and wine, daughters looking for vegetables, catching up on all the news they had time for. Gretchen turned the corner to see her two girls, once again, with their heads together and smiles on their faces. Her heart swelled to think of the blessings God had given her, especially now that her Kathy was home.
They walked through the itemizer and back onto the sidewalk, still chatting, Phoebe asking more questions about Chakotay, Kathryn asking more questions about a man named Brian, Gretchen asking when she was going to have grandchildren.
The hairs on the back of Kathryn's neck suddenly stood up. Her chest
turned to ice, her heart began to pound, and sweat broke out on the palms
of her hands. Someone, or something, was following her. She reached for
a non-existent phaser and, confused by its absence, whipped her body around
quickly as her eyes attempted to focus on the predator....
End Part 6
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