Summary: Part Three of novel titled 'Home'. Gretchen
Janeway's POV. Kathryn's mother tries
to help her figure out what went wrong and then
what to do to fix it.
Copyright 2001 Cassatt
"Phoebe, go in there and see what's the matter with Kathy, would you? I think she might be more willing to talk to you than me right now..." She looked at the bathroom door, hearing the sobs from her oldest daughter tearing at her own heart.
"All right Mom. Maybe it's because Mark didn't come to meet her? Where's that letter he gave us....." Phoebe dug through both bags until she found it. She then tentatively knocked and after a moment entered the bathroom upon a welcome from her sister, the now famous Starfleet Captain.
Gretchen paced the hotel room, listening to the murmuring of voices, worrying, wondering, thinking over all of the communications she had with Kathy over the past months. There had been nothing in them about the man Mr. Barclay told her about, the man Kathy was supposedly in love with. But Mr. Barclay had told them such a long time ago now that she assumed the relationship was over. So why would she be sobbing now? Kathy had been subdued on the way to the hotel, making small talk but with a hooded look in her eyes. When pressed, she explained it was merely due to her First Officer's arrest, worried about the crew and how they were responding, worried about the man in prison, exhausted now that she was finally finally home.
Gretchen didn't believe a word of it. She prayed Phoebe would be able to find out what was wrong.
The bathroom door opened quickly as Phoebe strode right to her and took her arm.
"Mom - you're presence is being commanded."
There was a slightly amused glint in her daughter's eyes as she followed her to the tub, where the sight to greet her brought a smile, too. Kathy sputtered as she raised her eyes from reading Mark's letter, waving it around in front of her, suds flying.
"Mother! Where in the hell did you get information that I was involved with someone? And why did you then run and tell Mark?! What's going on here?"
"Now, Kathy, don't get so upset. Mr. Barclay told me that you were in love with a man, a very brave and strong man, after, let's see when was that...well, after your nice EMH came, oh about a year or more ago... I told Mark so he wouldn't be feeling so guilty anymore..."
She watched the woman lean back, deflated, letter dropping to the floor. She raised her head and looked directly into her mother's eyes.
"God, I don't know why the Doctor said what he said, well, I mean I know now in retrospect, but no one was supposed to know about it. And certainly not tell anyone before I even knew myself! I've only been involved with him for about seven months. Let me get out of this tub. We need to talk..."
She listened patiently while her daughter told her all about her relationship with her First Officer, Chakotay, the man who was arrested that day. She heard it with a sinking heart, seeing the wheels of the Federation spinning around Kathy and the man she loved, taking him away, for purely political reasons. Things were different than when her husband was in Starfleet and not so different. Politics still ruled and she wasn't the least bit ignorant of that fact. She was, however, slightly confused over one point.
"Kathy, tell me something again? How is it you don't know why Chakotay gave in to the arrest so willingly, as you put it? From your description of him it doesn't sound like a typical reaction on his part."
Kathy sighed deeply. "I know. And I guess I'm ashamed to say this but I have no idea why things happened the way they did today. He and I...we...well we haven't been talking much for the past week or so."
"Well why ever not?"
"It's complicated Mom."
She knew the complication. "Because you haven't tried to find out, have you?"
Her daughter shot her a steely look. Probably intended to cowtow the rank and file but it had little affect on her. She merely gazed back, waiting.
"Mom..."
"What. Come on, Kathy, you may have been gone to the far end of hell and back but I still know you better than anyone. You've never been the best at confrontations when it involves your own personal feelings about someone. So answer me. What happened between you two?"
"You're right. Well almost right. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't answer!"
"Why not?"
"I don't know. I never could find out." Kathy's eyes were brimming with tears, her heart ached to see it.
"Kathy, honey, something had to have happened. You said it yourself, he wouldn't just give up, give in like this if the two of you were strong. He'd want to fight. He'd be desperate to stay out of prison... Think. What was your last conversation about?"
"Last conversation?" Her daughter got that look on her face, her brain sifting through all the known facts, sorting, deducing...and with a look of complete devastation and horror she broke down in tears. Words and sobs mixed together as she held and rocked Kathy, trying to make some sense out of what she was saying. A misunderstood comment, she broke his heart unknowingly, he was probably crushed, she was an idiot, she didn't mean it like he thought, he finally gave up on her, she didn't know how she was going to make it right, she couldn't even visit him now... They talked on and on.
Breakfast the following morning was with Chakotay's lawyer, Lt. Com. John Mueller, who by Gretchen's standard was very charming. And clearly very smart and committed to his client already, though his assessment of the man was as disturbing as she and Kathy expected. Chakotay was mostly unresponsive to his lawyer's attempts to engage him in his own defense.
In Commander Mueller's words, "He's shut down. There is no life behind his eyes. And as bad as this is for my working relationship with him, what's worse is if he's still like this during the trial. No one will be able to assess the man behind the image of a mean Maquis criminal."
She watched with pride as her daughter told Mueller about her relationship, knowing how difficult it was for Kathy to open herself up for criticism from a Starfleet officer even if he was of a lower rank than she. She laid everything out for him, even telling him that their estrangement was the cause for Chakotay's lack of spirit. As a misunderstanding Kathy felt things could be fixed, and she had an idea on how to do it.
Lt. Com. Mueller agreed immediately to the plan that Kathy and Gretchen had devised. She was surprised that she didn't feel nervous or anxious to do what her daughter asked of her, even if, as Mueller confided, it would have to be done with some subterfuge. Against the Federation and Starfleet. If caught, he didn't know what would happen. As Kathy had heard, Mueller was a 'toe-the-line as long as the line is flexible' type of Starfleet officer. A perfect match for Chakotay.
Leaving the hotel restaurant and heading for Starfleet HQ with the ultimate
goal of the main brig Gretchen knew for the first time what her daughter
and husband went through on their away missions. She was quite
looking forward to meeting the man who had swept her daughter right off
those solid feet of hers.
End part 3