Summary: Part 4 of novel titled 'Home'. Gretchen,
Kathryn and the attorney conspire to
convince Chakotay to give a damn about his fate
as he awaits arraignment and trial.
Copyright 2001 Cassatt
Lt. Commander Mueller decided that Mrs. Janeway would be presented to the guards as Chakotay's aunt who traveled quite a distance to see her precious nephew. The meeting needed to take place in the cell where there was more privacy, which would require copious amounts of Mueller's charisma and authority to make happen. Kathryn and Gretchen both hoped Admiral Paris didn't decide to drop by the brig while they were there or the whole plan would disintegrate on the spot.
Mueller got his authorization to go to the cells, Gretchen was given a pass as the loving auntie and Kathryn was given a moment with her mother.
"Mom," she hugged her, "please pass this to him. He'll listen to you, he has to. He has ultimate respect for his elders, don't forget that. And please tell him that I love him?"
Gretchen pulled back and held her daughter's face. "Honey, you know I will, just like we said. Now you just try and relax, okay? I promise I'll do the best I can..."
"I know Mom, I know. Thank you."
"You're welcome." She smiled deeply into Kathryn's eyes.
Kathryn watched the doors swoosh shut behind Mueller and her mother, her heart in her throat knowing she was meters away from the man she loved. She began to pace the waiting room.
Mueller, his arm on Gretchen's elbow, followed the guard through the two corridors toward Chakotay's cell. The forcefield taken down, he heard the guard announce that the prisoner's aunt and lawyer had come for a visit. He turned the corner of the cell and brought Gretchen forth.
Kathryn's mother had her first look at the man her daughter was in love with. He was indeed very handsome. She took in the chiseled dark looks, the tatoo, then met his eyes. They were the deepest brown she had ever seen and they looked actually empty. Her heart went out to this man she had never met.
Chakotay had been sitting in his cell, thinking about his father, wishing he had been allowed to keep his medicine bundle. The officials had taken it away, not certain what to make of the Akoonah and the rocks. They assured him it would be kept with his other personal effects and he had no choice but to trust them. What little emotion he allowed himself was directed toward Kolopak. I miss you, Father... He heard the guard approaching his cell and looked up.
"You have visitors. Your attorney and your aunt."
Aunt? I have no aunt on Earth. They must have made a mistake. He watched as the people came into his cell. He raised his eyes and met those of an older woman. She had the eyes of Kathryn. He felt his throat constrict. He waited.
"Well, I'll just leave you two to say your hellos. I know it's been a long time since you've seen each other." And with that, Chakotay's attorney squeezed his shoulder and gave him a piercing look. He left to stand outside the cell.
"Hello, Chakotay. I'm Gretchen Janeway, Kathryn's mother." She held out her hand to his in greeting. He took it, tentatively, but gave her a gentle and warm handshake. He had no expression on his face as she sat in the chair across from his bed.
"I'm sure you're wondering what in the world I'm doing here. I'm here on a mission, you might say. On behalf of my daughter, and by extension on behalf of you. I realize we don't know each other directly, but I think I know you a little bit after talking to Kathryn last night and I certainly know her. She's asked me to talk with you, since they won't let her in here. Are you willing to hear me out?"
She waited for some sign of interest from him. She thought she saw a tiny spark of something deep in his eyes but she wasn't entirely sure. He nodded but said nothing.
"Good. I have some specific things I'm supposed to pass on to you, but I think I need to take a few minutes and tell you a little something about my daughter you might not have learned. She is, in a nutshell, complex. She is stubborn," she saw Chakotay's mouth curve just a bit at that, "and she is also a little blind at times. She sometimes can't see the forest for the trees, if you know what I mean. I don't mean in work matters, but in personal matters."
He was watching her, waiting, but still making no real response.
"Well. So. Let's just get right to it then. She is very very distraught over your situation. She had been assured the arrest was not going to happen, as you know. But she is even more upset at what appears to be your lack of, how should I say it, fighting spirit. I know I don't know you, but even I can see it in your eyes. She tells me you are the bravest and most incredible man she has ever known," she saw a flash of something in him at that but couldn't discern what it was, "and that you would never ever give up, give in, to this situation unless you just didn't care any more about yourself."
"Well, maybe she doesn't know me as well as she thinks she does..." Gretchen was startled at the sound of his voice. It was beautiful, rich and soft like velvet.
"Well, maybe she doesn't, but I have a feeling she does. But she is my daughter after all, and I could be blind, too. Anyway, she and I were talking last night. She was telling us about you, and her, and crying and all that," again she saw that flash, "and I was asking her if she knew why you were behaving like this. I asked her what went on in your last conversation, trying to get her to focus and figure out what happened between the two of you. She's a good problem solver, my Kathy, and I knew she could figure it out if pointed in the right direction."
She paused and took a hard look at the man across from her. He actually had a small smile at the edges of his mouth. She took this as a good sign.
"So she was thinking to herself, then got the most horrific look on her face and broke down sobbing. Want to know what she remembered? Well, I won't tease you, she remembered what apparently happened on the bridge, the day you got the communication from Starfleet about going home."
Chakotay's face instantly shut down. She knew then that Kathy was right. She plowed ahead quickly.
"Are you interested at all to know what she was thinking when you heard her utter Mark's name? Well, you're going to hear it whether you want to or not. Because you need to know and you need to know now, before this goes on any longer. What I'm about to tell you is the God's honest truth, I saw it in Kathy's eyes and I could feel it in her heart."
She paused again to see if she had lost him completely. Chakotay was looking at her, his eyes unwavering, his face unflinching. A good man...
"Kathy was overwhelmed by the thought of having to see Mark and his wife, you know she hasn't heard from him in years. She was just afraid it was going to hurt. She has no feelings of love for him any longer, not like that anyway. It wasn't at all about that. Kathy didn't want the face-to-face confrontation of it, she hates those as you probably know. And she didn't know how Mark would handle meeting you. She loves you. That's the honest truth, I promise."
She let it sit there in the room, between them, let him absorb it, roll it around inside him. Let's see how brave he really is.
Chakotay stood up and tried to pace the room. Gretchen was surprised at his presence, his size. He wasn't huge but he had a stature and a strength. She could see her daughter's attraction to this man, the crew's devotion to him. She prayed he had heard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chakotay's mind was spinning. His emotions were threatening to come to the surface and he wasn't sure he could stand to look at them, much less feel them. He paced the small space, barely noticing Kathryn's mother. Her mother! How had she managed to get her in here? She seemed trustworthy, Kathryn had told him enough times how her mother just couldn't lie. But would Kathryn have lied to her mother to get him to stop wallowing? All he could feel was pain, confusion, fear, mistrust. He sat down and put his head in his hands, willing the truth to come to him. Begging for clarity.
She loves you, son. He heard his father whispering in his ear and suddenly he was aware of tears falling down his cheeks. He wanted to believe, he wanted it desperately, he missed her so... He felt Kathryn's mother sit down beside him on the bed, put her hand on the back of his neck and pull him toward her. He wasn't certain why he gave in to the embrace but as he did he caught the scent of Kathryn and felt his control shatter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You believe her, Chakotay. Kathy loves you, she's outside not 50 meters from here, pacing that waiting room I'm certain, up and down, probably worn out the carpet by now. She spent time last night calling everyone she could think of, she's met with your attorney, she and the crew got together and they're planning how to help you. She's not giving up on you but she needs you to fight. Fight with everything in you. Believe in her, believe in the two of you..."
Gretchen rocked him gently in her arms, letting his tears come without judgement, feeling this strong man let his guard down. She passed along every particle of love her daughter had given her to carry and felt him relax, finally. Pulling back from him she looked directly and deeply into his eyes. She at once saw the fire burning there, the passion, the intensity of his personality. She wiped her own face of tears.
"I can see what she sees in you, you know. In some ways, you remind me of her father. I trust I'll have the chance to find out how you're different. I think that for you to have felt such hurt you must love my daughter very deeply. I wish you could have seen her face last night when she realized what she had done. She was devastated."
Chakotay took a very deep breath and cleared his throat, allowing the first feelings of peace to envelop him. "I ... I don't know how to thank you for coming today Mrs. Janeway. I do love your daughter and I have for a very long time. She and I have been through a hundred lifetimes already out there. Maybe we still need to learn how to trust that what we feel isn't going to go away. I hope we get the chance."
"Now you call me Gretchen. And don't worry, you and she will get a hundred more chances at least. So - are you ready to take on the Federation young man? Because unless they are much dumber than I ever gave them credit for they'll be able to see what a fine man you are. And for myself, I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I understand you saved my daughter's life more than once." She reached out and stroked the back of his hand. He has nice hands.
"Well, Gretchen, I think Kathryn and I are fairly even on that score. You have one very brave daughter. And, would you please take a message back to her for me? Tell her...tell her that her angry warrior hasn't left, he loves her with all his heart and soul. Tell her 'thank you'. And one more thing. Tell her I expect a good strong cup of herbal tea when I get out of here, no coffee. She'll understand." He smiled fully at her, his face lighting up, the dimples deep.
My God, he's handsome... Gretchen could very definitely understand what her daughter saw in this man. "Angry warrior?"
"M-hm." He grinned.
"I'll pass it along. Now you understand that everyone is pulling for you?"
"Yes, I do. I probably don't exactly deserve it after the way I treated them, but ask Kathryn to thank them for me if you would. And please tell her I'm sorry for being such a fool. I love her. I miss her..."
"Oh, Chakotay, everyone's a fool when they're in love. She's been one, too."
"Thank you, Gretchen."
She patted his knee and stood up. He rose as well, then on impulse bent over to hug her, pleased to feel her hug him back. The totality of the female half of Kathryn's gene pool felt very comforting to him just then. Gretchen spoke quietly into his ear.
"Nice to finally meet you, welcome to the family, Chakotay."
"Thank you, I'm honored."
Gretchen poked her head outside the cell looking for the attorney. Mueller had moved away, likely to give them some privacy, coming forward upon meeting her eyes.
He could see she had a very big smile on her face and felt a wave of relief wash over him. She gave him a quick thumbs up and, turning, spoke once again to the man inside the cell before walking to meet Mueller.
"Commander, I've got to get outside and talk to Kathryn. Good luck, sir, do your best for that man in there. I'm entrusting you with my daughter's happiness. Chakotay's back and I think you're going to like the man you meet. He's everything she said he is."
He promised her and entered the cell to plot some strategy. He was, indeed, surprised to meet this new man. The power of love was a wondrous thing.
Kathryn was tired of pacing but couldn't sit. Down and up, ten strides to reach the opposite chairs, nine to return, down and up again. She felt as though her whole life was being decided on the other side of that damned door and, in truth, it was.
Mother, where the hell are you....
End part 4
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