"Kathryn, do you have any idea how happy you've made me this morning?" Chakotay cradled her face tenderly, staring into the depths of her blue grey eyes. He didn't think she could possibly look any more beautiful to him. He certainly didn't believe that he could be any more in love with her at that moment. He knew then just as he knew the day before in the still of the jeffries tube that he would do anything for her. Move heaven and bring earth closer if he could. If she would let him.
"Well, I think I have a good idea, but I'd love to be told again. And shown." Softly smiling Kathryn began to unzip his jacket, slowly making his chest more available to her touch.
"You have made me the happiest man in the Delta Quadrant, hell - the entire galaxy, Kathryn Janeway."
She marveled at the smile that lit up his face, amazed that she brought out that radiance. Even in the haze of her hangover, which by now was a shadow of what it had been an hour earlier, she knew that she wanted him as intensely as she loved him. More than the night before in her alcoholic state, when her inhibitions were low but her thoughts conflicted. And more even than their first time yesterday morning, for now she knew what the experience of making love with Chakotay really was. She wanted to have that with him again. Soon. Very soon. Like now.
His jacket being open Kathryn pulled herself tightly to his chest, her arms wrapping around, her hands finding their way beneath his undertunics to his skin, hearing him sigh both into her hair that he was kissing and from within his chest. There wasn't any more wonderful feeling to her than that of his arms surrounding her, his hands loving her everywhere he could touch. She kissed his chest through the fabric, moving her mouth up to his throat and back down again, finding his nipple which she gently bit. He gasped and hardened slightly against her, she smiled.
Chakotay realized too late what Kathryn was really doing. He pulled her head away from his chest and bent to her, putting light kisses on her mouth, cheeks, and forehead. Trying again to slow her down, wanting her so badly, knowing they were in her ready room, the desk behind her so inviting, the crew just outside the door, her lips so soft, her tongue trying to make contact with his, her fingernails caressing his chest, his back, her breasts pushing against him, the bridge, responsibilities, the smell of her intoxicating..... Like a magnet his mouth was back on hers, kissing her deeply, tasting her as her tongue captured his. He pulled her more tightly to him, feeling the pounding of both hearts. Some thread of conscience wove its way back to the surface and he stopped devouring her mouth. She gave a little cry when he pulled back.
"No, Chakotay...don't stop..." Her eyes were alight with desire.
"What do you want?" He said tenderly. "Because I'm about to put you down on this desk. The crew is right outside wondering what is going on in here, thinking you are giving me your answer. And I really don't care. You are the only person that matters at the moment, and how much we love each other, and how badly I want us to express it. Do you care? What do you want? Right now?"
She caressed his lips with her fingers. "No, I don't care. I want you. To fill me up, to love me, to let me love you. I want to feel you lose total control with me, to show me your passion. To make love." She laughed softly. "No fuck. Lovemaking. Now." She put her hand on the back of his head and pulled his mouth back to hers.
The kisses started again, with soft sighs changing to soft moans coming from deep in their throats. Words of love spoken whenever the chance was taken, both pairs of hands moving, stroking, touching whatever could be reached. Kathryn managed to get hers under Chakotay's shirts in the front, pulling gently on his nipples, hearing and feeling a growl escape into her mouth as he hardened again. She pulled her hands out to grab the shoulders of his jacket, pulling it down his arms...
"Lt. Tuvok to Captain Janeway." Tuvok's voice cut like a knife.
"Go away, Tuvok, just go away...," Kathryn murmured into Chakotay's mouth. She got the jacket off and dropped it, reveling in the feel of his shoulder muscles now free of the jacket's padding. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he pulled her tightly to him again...
"Lt. Tuvok to Captain Janeway." If a Vulcan could sound strident, Tuvok would have qualified just then.
Chakotay had unzipped her jacket by now and was running a hand beneath her undertunics, up her chest, massaging her breast, his thumb rubbing her nipple to a peak through the lace of her bra. His mouth moved away from hers, giving her the opportunity to answer if she wanted as he travelled along her jaw line, kissing quietly, tongue darting out occasionally.
"Chakotay, make him go away..." She moaned.
"Your call, love...," he whispered in her ear. Kathryn tried to make contact with her comm badge, eventually succeeding.
"Yes, Tuvok?" Even to her the voice sounded a bit breathy. Chakotay's hand was now heading to her back.
"Captain, I must leave the bridge for a scheduled meeting with my security staff."
Chakotay unclasped her bra, his hand returning to capture a breast, the feel of him touching her so erotically causing her brain to completely shut down for a brief moment. He was still kissing her face and as much neck as he could reach.
She cleared her throat. "Tuvok, the Commander and I are in the middle of something important." She stifled a gasp as he licked under her ear. "So, I would appreciate it if you would give the bridge to Tom? We should be done soon." She took the chance with Chakotay being distracted to reach down and caress the erection that had been pushing into her stomach, up and down slowly with her fingernails, through his uniform, eliciting a quickly swallowed sharp intake of breath from him and a squeeze to her nipple.
"Very good, Captain. Tuvok out." The computer gave its usual signal that the link was off.
Chakotay moaned deeply into her ear as she continued to caress his erection, now straining against the confines of fabric. His mouth found its way back to hers, their passion ignited anew as the kiss deepened quickly. He removed her jacket then unfastened her pants, sliding his hands under both pants and panties, pushing them down her hips. Kathryn writhed under his roaming fingers moving along the dimples of her lower back, finding their way between her legs, softly caressing as far in as he could reach.
She managed to ask him to remove her boots while she perched on the edge of the desk, the cold surface a shock to her skin. Chakotay pulled off her boots then took her pants and panties down, dropping them on the floor. He trailed his fingers back up the inside of her legs pushing them gently apart as he reached her knees, continuing the path he was taking straight to her curly hairs. He lightly stroked her there as he leaned in to kiss her again, missing the feel of her lips and tongue on his. His hand traveled from her belly down her folds to her cheeks, smashed against the surface of the desk.
Kathryn was trying to prop herself on her hands as Chakotay's touch wove its spell over her. She was so incredibly aroused right then that she imagined drops of her juices hitting her desk, one by one. And he had barely begun to touch her. She asked him to remove his pants, too, pleased to see she didn't have to beg. He was stripped in a nanosecond and leaning into her once more.
"Kathryn...what would you like? What parts of you give you the most pleasure?" His hand was softly stroking her as he spoke.
Kathryn was overwhelmed. No man had ever really asked her that. Not even Mark, who was a good lover but rarely talked with her about sex. And here was Chakotay, a man who was so many things to her and her lover of just one day, wanting to be able to pleasure her on her terms. To give her what she wanted. A man with whom she had already made the most extraordinary love of her lifetime. She didn't think she could love him any more than at that moment. Finding herself unable to speak she chuckled silently.
Chakotay kissed her tenderly, still moving his hand across and around her intimately, her thoughts stranded somewhere...
"How about this? I'll start down here and if we find a spot you like, nod your head, or moan," he smiled softly into her eyes "or say yes, or even wink, okay?" She smiled in return, more than willing to participate, knowing when she'd nod, the anticipation sending a thrill down her spine.
She flattened the small of her back against the desktop, allowing Chakotay easier access. He lifted her legs and rested them on his hips to her delight, the feel of his skin sending new waves of desire through her. He began by caressing her cheeks, still cool from contact with the surface, moving his hand toward her inner lips. When he reached the spot where her cheeks ended she gave a quick moan and a nod feeling the blood rush to the center of her desire. He smiled, kissed her deeply and caressed this area sending Kathryn spiralling upwards, almost too quickly.
His touch travelled looking for new pleasure points. His fingers found their way between her folds to her clitoris smiling as Kathryn nodded with a grin and a glazed look in her eye. "Yes, I'm sure, Kath my love...but the question is where? Which side? Top? Bottom?" He gently stroked the left side of the engorged nub but aside from Kathryn looking pensive and breathing heavily, nothing. He moved his fingers to the opposite side and was rewarded with a quiver and a deep moan. He leaned in to capture her mouth again, his large hand able to caress both her erogenous zones at once, feeling, hearing and tasting her lose control. He was in heaven as she rocked against his hand and darted her tongue in and out of his mouth, panting against his lips, his throbbing erection aching for her.
Kathryn knew in one dim part of her mind that she was on her desk in her ready room but just as in the jeffries tube the day before she could have cared less. All she was conscious of was Chakotay's touch, his lips, his tongue and the feelings surging through her body as her orgasm approached.....and washed over her. She cried into Chakotay's mouth and reveled in his deep soft kisses riding out her waves. And she wanted him almost desperately, needed him inside...
Chakotay took his hand away then gently pushed his finger into her moving it in a slow circle. "Kathryn, and how do you want it here?" His voice was husky, his eyes dark pools that she fell into willingly. She raised herself a bit to reach him, taking his erection in her hand and stroking him with long smooth strokes watching his eyes glaze over, his breaths become ragged.
"Long, deep thrusts..." She said what she knew they both liked, the learning of which yesterday had been a wondrous thing to them. She pulled him gently to her opening, more ready for him than she had ever been in her life. Moving her hips closer to the edge and taking his shoulders she implored him with her eyes to enter her, pulling his hips to her with her feet and legs.
Chakotay was almost beyond reason with the want of her. He needed little encouragement as she pulled, finding her hot and slick as he plunged in. Stopping to let her adjust he felt her pull hard with her feet and thrust completely into her, overcome with emotions as their mouths joined again and she surrounded him. They moved only slightly at first, enjoying the pure sensation of their union, Kathryn now flat on the desk, Chakotay supporting himself on his arms to keep from crushing her, soft words of love spoken back and forth, lips kissing almost reverently.
He began his long stroking, in and almost out of her as their movements fell into the rhythm learned the day before. He was overwhelmed by her, by them....when "door lock" came into his head and out his mouth, maybe. He wasn't sure he said the words out loud but Kathryn had pulled away from his lips. He could see and hear from her panting she was losing herself again.
"Computer," she said in a breathy voice, "secure door lock, com...mand........oh-h-h...," was all she could get out as stars began to gather behind her eyelids.
"Unable to comply."
"Computer...," Chakotay tried, "secure door lock, command code...Chakotay...beta 1-2." His mouth fell on hers again as their tongues wrapped together.
"Ready room door lock sequence complete."
Kathryn felt Chakotay move his arms beneath her as his thrusts became more urgent, lifting her up into his embrace, the change in position sending her spiralling upwards even higher. She moved with him as her climax approached, fast and hard, his mouth covering her cries when the stillness hit her and everything seemed so clear... just before she fell off the cliff in an almost excrutiating release, her legs shuddering against his hips as he thrust into her harder and harder.
Chakotay, feeling her orgasm contract around him, followed Kathryn over the edge, plunging into her ever deeper, spilling himself against her womb, his cries of her name sent down her soft throat, clutching her to him as he throbbed inside her with aftershocks. He could no longer stand easily and felt blindly behind him for a chair then collapsed into it still deeply embedded in Kathryn. They held each other tightly as waves of release washed over them together, hearts beginning to still, mouths meeting again softly passionate, tears drying on their cheeks.
Tom turned around and looked at Harry again. By Harry's estimation this made five times in the past 10 minutes. When he saw Tom opening his mouth to speak he shook his head, pointing to the other crewmembers working on the bridge. He sent his best friend a message.
Don't ask me.
Tom glared at his console.
Harry! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING IN THERE?
Tom, it doesn't prove anything.
WHAT DOESN'T?! I've got a responsibility to be fair. Lots of rations are on the line here.
Promise me you won't tell anyone. For them.
Harry, Harry, Harry. OK. I promise. For them.
A secure door lock command was initialized a while ago. Harry kept the knowledge of the failed attempt to himself, not wanting to think about that too carefully.
BY WHOM?!!
The Commander.
I'm calling B'El. Tom turned around after sending this and gave Harry a huge grin, pleased to see his friend return it. He felt absurdly proud and hit his chest.
"Bridge to Engineering. B'Elanna, you there?"
"Hey, Tom, how's it going up there? What did I miss? These damn gel packs..."
"When can you meet Harry and me for lunch? Although I have the bridge..." He boasted.
"You? They must have been desperate!" She laughed.
"Hey! That's my ego you're bruising. And in front of your staff! They are not desperate, just busy at the moment. So ... lunch?"
"Wouldn't miss it. Call me when you're relieved, so to speak..." She laughed again. "Torres out."
"Harry, tell me again why I love her so much?"
"Cause she puts up with all of your .... well, I won't say the word on duty."
Chakotay and Kathryn, dressed again and curled up together on the couch, were attempting to do some work. Work that would not get Voyager any closer to the Alpha Quadrant, however.
"Kathryn, love, before you begin I just have a small request. How about the next time we make love we do it in a real bed?" He stroked her arm with his thumb, kissing the top of her head, relishing the position she was in, leaning back into his chest. He needed to be holding her, to smell her hair, to feel her breathing, at least for right then. And maybe the rest of the day if he could swing it. Tomorrow life could return to a semblance of whatever normalcy awaited them. Not now. Not today.
"That sounds wonderful. A soft bed....whose?" The console on her lap momentarily forgotten.
"I don't care as long as it has a mattress, sheets and you in it."
Kathryn sighed in apparent contentment. "Okay, mine is bigger. That's the place."
"Thank you. You won't regret it. Now, in terms of this memo, I think it should come just from you. They already know how I feel." He couldn't resist leaning forward and kissing her ear, her neck, running his mouth along her jaw line, his hand across her stomach.
"Cha-ko-tay, how the hell am I going to do this with you doing that?" She laughed. In truth, she loved that he couldn't keep his hands off of her, at least for right then, for today. It had been way too many years since anyone had showered her with this much loving attention. Though she felt regret that she had put Chakotay off for so long, she wasn't going to let regrets sit here with them. Not now. Not today. Her fingers started working the console. "Okay, tell me what you think of this..." She read.
"To the senior staff from Captain Janeway. Due to the overwhelmingly handsome, sexy and loving nature of my First Officer..." A loud guffaw interrupted her.
"You can't! You won't. Will you?" He looked at her askance, suddenly wondering what he had unleashed...
"I think it sounds good. Wait, just let me finish. Dot dot dot sexy and loving nature of my First Officer I have agreed to be his love slave for the next 50 years or until one of us is dead. End. Well, what do you think?" She turned around to face him, deadpan but with a twinkle in her eye.
"Love slave? YOU?! Well I think you'd better delete that thing before I get ahold of it and download it. Might come in handy some day."
She ran her fingers adroitly across the console on her lap again. "Okay, how bout this. Usual heading, senior staff, blah blah. Due to your Commander being the most extraordinary love god and with your assistance, I have come to the decision that I am his, completely and forever, my heart and soul entwine with his, my body belongs by his side forever more. End. Well? How's that one?"
"I sense a recurring theme here, Kathryn. No, I veto that one, if I get a vote. Couldn't you see the women down in Engineering when they'd see me coming, so to speak?"
"Like they don't think that already! Man, if you had eyes in the back of your head, sir, well on second thought let's not wish for that... Okay, give me another minute."
"I never thought I'd live to see the day when the description 'incorrigible' would be applied to you..." Chakotay wrapped both arms around her squeezing hard, rewarded by a strong laugh from his Captain.
The command team was once more sitting on the bridge and had been for about a half hour. Tuvok's meeting was over and Tom, Harry and B'Elanna had just returned from a hurried lunch and gossip session where nothing was really resolved. Samantha was sitting at the science station perusing some data from the day before, her eyes darting to the Captain and the Commander whenever she thought she could get away with it.
And yet not a word had been spoken by either member of the command team. The silence was deafening, the tension almost palpable between the members of the senior staff. Each one trying to come up with a way to broach The Subject, at least with the Commander. Tom could hardly contain himself and was just about to damn the torpedoes when the Captain spoke.
"Commander?" A collective gasp traveled around the bridge and all eyes turned to her.
"Yes, Captain?"
She hesitated, pensive. "I've been thinking..."
"About?"
"You...and me." The tension increased another notch as staff members were starting to lean forward in anticipation.
"And?"
"How about some lunch?"
"Why thank you Captain, I would love it." Chakotay stood up.
"Mr. Tuvok, you have the bridge."
All eyes watched the turbolift doors swoosh shut, disappointment replacing tension. Tom looked at B'Elanna, they both met Harry's eyes then Samantha's. None of them paid the least attention to Tuvok, though it was the Vulcan who spoke first.
"Speculation is non-productive. The Captain will inform the Commander and you when she is ready."
The four rolled their eyes to each other in response. Really, they all thought, Tuvok can be so dense sometimes. And hour and half in the ready room with no decision??
"Oh, Chakotay, that was way too much fun!"
In her quarters, laughing together on the couch, Kathryn moved swiftly right onto Chakotay's lap where their lips met intensely, passionately, sounds of laughter reduced to sighs of desire. Their hands were beginning to travel, gently groping for zippers, edges of jackets and shirts. Chakotay spoke in between kisses.
"I insist - in a bed." Their mouths began to lock together, his words becoming lost in her, "No couch, no floor, no table. Bed. And lunch..." Kathryn pulled back reluctantly, running her hands through his soft hair, falling into his eyes. Chakotay stroked her face staring back into the blue-grey depths showing him so much love his breath caught.
Kathryn spoke finally. "To have you in my bed? Agreed, and I'll force myself to wait until I feed you. But as Captain I feel the need to remind us we're supposed to be on duty..."
"Right. Who started this round? And how much work have we gotten done since the briefing this morning?"
"We composed a memo, does that count?"
"A memo that you are torturing your senior staff with I must point out." He chuckled. The sound resonated in Kathryn's soul. She prayed she would always hear it, taking the opportunity to put her palm on his chest to simply feel the vibration.
She smiled. "Oh, all right. I have one change I want to make but then I'll be kind and send it, we need them to stay on our side..."
"Kathryn, don't you ever doubt that. They would lay down their life for you."
"Or you."
"Or each other." He took the hand resting on his chest and kissed her fingers one by one.
"We are very blessed, aren't we?" Their eyes locked.
TO: Senior Staff
From: Captain Janeway
Re: My Decision
As Tuvok was at lunch, Tom looked at his fellow crewmates on the bridge with a grin. "So I guess this means that it's time to pay up the betting pools. That is if we can assume that they, well, you know...this morning..." He actually had the grace to blush a bit.
B'Elanna thought she'd better get out of there quickly and tried not to meet his eyes.
Harry felt protective of his commanders. "Tom, you promised you wouldn't tell anyone what happened."
But Tom had noticed B'Elanna's evasiveness. "B'El, what do you know? You and the big guy had your heads together last night...what did he tell you?"
"I'm certainly not going to repeat it. I have a meeting with my staff, see you later..." She walked quickly toward the lift.
"B'Elanna..."
Harry interrupted them gladly. "Hold it, guys, a message from the Commander," his fingers tapping quickly on the console.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To: Senior Staff
From: Commander Chakotay
Congratulations to you all
on a mission accomplished. Please have plan B-1 ready at 1800 hours this
evening. I intend to, with slight alterations, continue with plan C-1 at
0830 tomorrow morning. While the content will change, the route and ultimate
goal for the Captain will be the same. You know what to do. Let us all
work toward a positive outcome. Thank you. And one more thing, she is very
very happy, as am I.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
B'Elanna now grinned at Tom from Harry's side. "I guess this means I have some work to complete. Harry, let me know when you have a free half hour. Bye Tom!" She waived gaily and left before he could reply.
In the lift she allowed herself a cheer for her oldest friend. "Congratulations yourself big guy! Just do everything I would..."
Chakotay, slightly out of breath from rushing around his quarters, checked once more to see that everything was in place. After sending another message to B'Elanna he grabbed some off duty clothes and personal items and headed back to Kathryn's quarters.
For Kathryn's part, she had set up candles for their lunch, a small extravagence she needed to show Chakotay just how happy she was. Her heart was full, her body was still on fire, her head was almost light. Glad for the short respite from the intensity of them, for a little time to herself, she had taken the opportunity to really listen. To herself. Something she didn't do often. She found that her bearings were completely askew, her center somewhere above her head and she didn't care a whit. The Captain would definitely be taking a break for the rest of the day. She had been way too involved in this situation and needed to be put in the closet for awhile. Kathryn trusted that when the officer returned in the morning the integration would be seamless, or at least she hoped it would.
The door chimed and her heart lept to hear it. Yes, Chakotay...I love you...
1800 hours found Chakotay gently leading Kathryn through the corridors of Voyager, leading because she had a blindfold on. A old-fashioned lesson in trust, he had told her. Commands to the turbolift had been manually entered, people they passed said nothing when they saw him with his finger to his lips. He had actually been quite surprised she was willing to go along with this, though upon reflection of their afternoon he realized he shouldn't have been.
The shower together had been wonderful enough, even as merely a means to the end of clean, soft skin to enjoy touching, caressing and kissing. Chakotay had almost given in and made mad love with Kathryn against the shower wall. They managed to make it to the bed, mostly dry, only to become wet and slick again as they moved together on the soft mattress. And laying with each other in comfort was an experience just this side of heaven. They spent some time reading more poetry to each other in bed, once more feeling a sense of peace envelope them. A peace Chakotay had never before felt in his life. He marveled at this other Kathryn. One who so willingly gave herself to him on all levels, who loved him with delight, enthusiasm and seemingly endless passion. And more trust than he had experienced from her up until that day. Wanting to know how deep it ran he had asked her to participate in the trust exercise.
Chakotay opened the door to holodeck one and took Kathryn's hand. He was overwhelmed by the vision before him, his heart skipping a beat in anticipation of her reaction. Walking forward he reached their destination.
"Are you still with me, Kathryn?"
"Always, Chakotay. When can I see what you've programmed?"
"It's the smell, isn't it? Know where we are?"
"I don't really recognize it, though it's somewhat familiar..." Chakotay watched with happiness as she took whatever parameters her limited senses allowed and extrapolated. He could almost hear the gears turning in her mind. "Nope, I can't place it. I give up." Failure was only causing her to smile harder.
He had to admit to himself at least that he was enjoying being in the position of power. Upon quick reflection he didn't think it had to do with their command positions per se. To have Kathryn let him lead her by choice, be vulnerable by choice, he felt almost honored. And he just plain enjoyed being the assertive one for right then. So he didn't tell her where they were, nor did he let her take the blindfold off. Instead he led her to a double lounge chair, helped her sit, then joined her, arranging a throw over their legs for comfort in the cool evening air.
"Chakotay, can I look now?" She had a hint of a whine in her voice.
"Patience, my love." He was suddenly aware of his body's responses to her in the blindfold, giving her will to his. He was acutely aroused. He made an abrupt change in plans and leaned in very slowly to kiss her. Placing butterfly kisses across her mouth and face he gently moved his fingertips across the skin of her neck, down to the vee of her blouse eliciting a slight shiver and sigh from Kathryn. He stroked the soft cleavage lightly still barely kissing her, feeling the erotic charge between them intensify. His hand then softly cupped a breast as his kisses became more direct, his tongue reaching hers making them both gasp.
"Kathryn, are you all right with this?" Following the question with another kiss, deeper than the last her quiet moan was the only response. She reached behind his head and pulled him into her even deeper. Their tongues were doing a now familiar slow motion dance, their breathing becoming ragged. Chakotay was not at all certain either of them could stop, the urge to take her was so overpowering and they had made love not two hours before. He still wondered how much she really truly trusted him. He wanted her to give every last bit of control to him.
"Computer, secure door lock command code Chakotay beta 1-2" he spoke as Kathryn's hands were unbuttoning his shirt. "No" he said, his grip on her wrists firm but gentle. He placed her hands at her sides and told her to leave them there. She agreed and he heard a change in her breathing. His heart was pounding as he unfastened her blouse, pulling it slowly down her shoulders and off. He could see her breathing hard in anticipation, her breasts pushing against the tight lace, astounded at how the sight affected him.
"I love you Kathryn" the last word said into her mouth as he thrust his tongue back into her, rewarded with a gutteral moan. When he unclasped her bra and kissed the released breasts she began to writhe, asking him to please keep going, fill her completely, telling him she loved him, the words cascading around him in a white haze. He slowly removed the rest of her clothing, caressing her skin with hands she couldn't see, never knowing where he would touch next, causing her to shiver and move toward his traveling hands. The slight power this gave him was intoxicating. Seeing and hearing her enjoy the experience aroused him further, his erection growing almost painfully.
He moved away from her to remove his clothes quietly, not answering her need to know what he was doing. He lay himself back down next to her, keeping his body from touching hers, only allowing his hands to roam over her, finding the slick wetness that was escaping from between her legs, her moans louder, her movements against his hand stronger. Their mouths joined, their breaths now pants, as he stroked her gently driving his fingers inside when she parted her legs to allow it. He had a momentary realization that her cues before this experience were often read in her eyes and though he now knew exactly what she liked, he needed to be even more conscious of what she was doing to know how she was responding. In a way, it was fascinating. She was not resisting anything he did, she was following his orders to keep her hands to herself, her pelvis rocking, her moaning deeper, his bulging erection aching for her. He likely could wait no longer and knew she didn't want to.
"Come here, roll over on your knees, Kathryn..." He pulled her hand to direct her to straddle him but didn't allow her to move down onto him. He continued to stroke her, concentrating now on her clitoris and cheeks, eliciting louder moans mixed with soft cries, holding her hips in the air with one hand, watching her writhe, watching his penis waving and throbbing in anticipation.
"Please, Chakotay.... I can't ... wait..." She whimpered. Resting her hands on his shoulders she let go to try and grab him. He finally relented with a groan, placing himself at her opening and pushing her hips down onto his, entering her in one swift thrust. He almost came from the incredible feel of her. She cried out with what sounded like pleasure and found his mouth with hers, pushing her tongue hard into him. He started thrusting himself equally hard up into her as their tongues dueled and breaths were short and hot. He reached up and took off her blindfold wanting to see her eyes, needing once more to see them. Their irises met as she blinked a few times. The love he saw there completely overwhelmed him and he felt his climax approaching quickly. She matched his almost frantic thrusts with her own, and as he felt her orgasm hit she arched her back hard calling his name. He came just as hard, once more spilling himself into her, their mouths meeting again as waves of release washed over them together. They clutched each other tightly, speaking words of love, kissing necks and cheeks and anything else they could reach without releasing the embrace. He never wanted to let her go and knew she felt the same.
After some minutes, with her still on his lap, her head now resting on his shoulder, his arms holding her, conscious of their hearts beating, he thought he couldn't feel more blissful. Full period. Though she still hadn't seen, really, what he had brought her to see.
"Computer, reset program Vinkus Five to 1800 hours."
At that she sat straighter, her eyes lit up meeting his. "Vinkus, Chakotay!? How did you remember?"
"Come on, turn around, right here..." He smiled fully at her and grabbed the throw to cuddle under. She got resettled in his arms and gasped at the sight before them. His heart swelled. How he loved her. He would give her anything he could. For now the holodeck was the best he could do.
They were on a small mountain top on the planet Vinkus at sunset. This was a lush M-class planet with three moons they had visited years before. Kathryn had told him as they hiked the valley that it reminded her of her grandparents home in upstate New York. The sunset was beautiful as the moons rose over the far mountains. They watched it all the way to the end, never moving much nor even saying much, the silence a completely comfortable one. Both knowing that something important had happened that night that transcended an intense sexual experience. Only Chakotay knew what he planned to do about it.
At 0800 hours the next morning the Captain sat in her command chair watching her First Officer and lover's shuttle leave the ship heading planetside. They had said their private good-byes in her quarters over breakfast. The memory of his lips on hers gave her pause as the shuttle moved further and further away from Voyager. Memories of the night before came back as she sat once more in control of the ship and crew. Undecided which role she liked better she chose to leave it at that for now, accepting the thrill that hit between her legs for what it was. Unbridled, raw passion at control taken out of her hands. Simple. Or was it? Please Chakotay come home safely.
Looking out the viewport, seeing the shuttle getting smaller, she thought about waking up with Chakotay by her side, the feelings of intense love and desire there at first consciousness. How she ached for him. How much she hated his leaving the ship. Although she had known this would be the most difficult and thought she was prepared in truth she wasn't. The Captain's hold this morning wasn't nearly strong enough and Kathryn kept poking her head up wanting to be heard. Even knowing the benefits of loving that man, the risks weighed heavily today.
At 0830 hours as Kathryn was reading B'Elanna's report on the gel pack problem of the day before a transporter beam appeared in front of her eyes. She jumped in surprise as a padd materialized on her lap. She looked around to Harry but he only acknowledged her questioning look with a nod of his head.
"From the Commander, I assume?" She asked him, grinning.
"At the risk of being insubordinate, I can only answer that one question. Yes, Captain."
Intrigued beyond reason, she turned the padd on.
To:
Kathryn
From:
Chakotay
Care to have a little treasure hunt, my love? Tuvok has agreed to take the bridge so you are free to roam, and roam you will. You will be looking for something tied with what you had around your neck night before last. Be warned - your crew has instructions on just how much help to give you. Be kind to them. Here is your first clue:
WHERE WINGS
OF FABRIC
STRAIN
TOWARD THE SKY
oN A FLIGHT
NEVER TAKEN.
I love you.
Kathryn was now beyond intrigued. Wings of fabric? How had Chakotay managed to do this? And how she loved him. Feeling only slightly guilty for looking forward to an escape from the bridge and responsibility, she looked up to see just about everyone staring at her.
"Well everyone, it looks as though your First Officer has done it again." She smiled. "As though you don't already know that. I have my work cut out for me. Mr. Tuvok?" Tuvok finally met her eyes, as implacable as ever.
His eyebrow raised. "Yes, Captain. It is true that the Commander asked for my cooperation. I will take the bridge if you care to commence your...search."
"So, Tuvok, do you know what this is about?" She couldn't resist asking him.
"I'm afraid that none of us were taken into complete confidence."
That was a relief. "Thank you Tuvok. Let me know if you need anything." She headed into her ready room to contemplate the clue.
Fifteen minutes later she left the bridge with a spring in her step. Wings of fabric. Flight never taken. There was only one place where she would find a flying machine with wings of fabric. Sure enough as she reached the holodeck doors, her program was running.
She walked into the workshop of her friend Leonardo, her eyes darting to the ceiling as anxious to find her treasure as to see him.
"Katarina, my friend, how long it has been since we last visited." Da Vinci came toward her grasping both hands in his.
"Too long, Leonardo. How have you been?"
"Quite fine. I had a visit from a young man this morning who said he was a friend of yours." His eyes twinkled. "An interesting design on his face. Love in his eyes as he spoke of you."
Kathryn felt a blush move across her cheeks. "Yes. I believe he left something here for me?"
"So, we are not going to speak of the love you feel for each other. Never mind, I can see it in your eyes as well. He seems a fine man. And I promised him I would not tell you where to find what is hidden here." He smiled and went to sit by the fire.
She laughed to herself. Chakotay was ever the Maquis. Fine, it was her treasure hunt, she would do as he asked. She went back up the stairs to look at the flying invention that was attached to the ceiling but couldn't see any ribbon that looked familiar. Not that she would have been able to get anything down from there. Back down in the workshop she couldn't see any other models sitting around. Now what? After a minute of mulling, she went to the shelves behind DaVinci's work table. She stole a glance at the master and saw him watching her with a smile. She turned back to dig through the piles of papers until her fingers found their mark.
"Aha!" She muttered to herself.
"Congratulations, Katarina. Not that I had any doubt, nor did he, that you would prevail. Good luck with the rest of your search. And perhaps the two of you could visit soon for a small dinner? I would like the chance to get to know your Chakotay better."
She came over and gave him an unexpected kiss on the cheek. "Absolutely! See you soon..."
Once she was in the hall she turned on the padd in her hands.
Kathryn, my love, I knew you could do it. Though this next one may be a bit harder. And remember that I love you, all parts of you. Don't forget that. Here's your next clue:
WHERE ONES HID
FROM EVIL INTENT.
GONE WITHOUT LEAVING AT ALL.
"Why would he have to reassure me that he loved me? Gone without leaving?" She muttered to herself standing in the corridor. Who had hidden... it had to be on the ship since they never left. Why mention loving me? That part seemed to be interfering with her rational thinking so she decided to ignore it for a few minutes. Something was niggling in her brain. Hid from evil intent... She gasped.
"Oh, Chakotay, I love you, too." She was surprised that he would bring that whole mess into this game. Surprised and pleased as well. She vowed to tell him so later tonight. Happy they would have the chance to talk, really talk about Kashyk and what she had done. How she had felt. She practically trotted to the transporter room, assuming it would be room one.
Ensign Rosemont was on duty. He acknowledged her presence by standing at attention but she swore his eyes were a little crinkled at the corners.
"At ease, Ensign, I assume you know why I'm here?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"This isn't crunch time, at least not yet, Ensign."
"My apologies Captain."
She smiled at him and perused the room. Not a whole lot of places to hide something here. She wandered slowly around the transporter pad but found nothing, then walked up the steps to the control consoles. Again, no place to hide much of anything. She opened the only available access panels but there was no ribbon around any padd, what she was sure now she was looking for. She could feel the ensign's eyes on her.
"Ensign, I assume the Commander gave you instructions on assisting me?"
"Yes, Captain. I'm not to do it." He smiled.
She laughed and leaned against the console trying to think. Where ones hid... She quickly turned around and looked down at the controls. "Chakotay...I'm impressed..." Chuckling, she tapped the console and with a smiling glance to the ensign pushed her fingers up on the buffer controls. A padd materialized on the transporter pad.
"Congratulations, Captain!" Ensign Rosemont called to her as she left with her next treasure clutched in her hand. She acknowledged him with a smile and a nod.
Kathryn, you did it again. That one was harder than the next one. At least the clue may be easier but the find may be harder. I miss you and I love you. Here's the next:
WHERE THE STARS
ARE IMMOVABLE
NOT MADE OF GASES, ROCKS AND MINERALS.
If she understood his meaning, he was correct. This one seemed easy. She headed for Seven of Nine's domain with two padds now in her hands and ribbons around her neck. She'd have to stop back in her office after the next one.
"Good morning, Seven, how are you today?" Kathryn asked cheerfully.
"I have been instructed not to answer your questions." Seven replied standing at her idea of attention.
Kathryn laughed. "I don't think the Commander had that one in mind. But I'll allow you that little bit of insubordination."
"I am afraid I do not grasp your meaning."
Kathryn sighed. "At ease, Seven. And by the way, thank you for your advice about the efficiency of coupling with the Commander. You were absolutely right. I feel much more efficient today." Kathryn smiled to herself and began to look around for her next clue. Again, there weren't many places to hide but she tried to open as many access panels as she could find. None of them bore fruit. She was vaguely aware of the woman in the room watching her every move. She looked up from closing the last panel. "Yes, Seven?"
"Captain, I would like to ask you a question. About you and the Commander. This exercise."
Kathryn sighed again and crossed her arms. "All right. Go ahead."
"As you know the Borg assimilated many species who had knowledge of mating rituals though none human. As you also know I attempted to learn what I could by watching Lt. Torres and Lt. Paris until I was stopped. And though the Doctor tried to teach me the rituals of dating his lessons left me a bit more confused. Now I am watching you and I am listening to the Commander. He has devised this exercise for you whereby you are being led by him throughout the ship, finding things. Why are you letting him, an officer of lower rank, direct your actions in such a manner? You are the Captain."
Oooh boy, she never asks the easy ones, does she. Kathryn thought about what she was asking, trying to formulate an answer in her mind, the memories of yesterday and last night returning once more. "Seven. Let me try and explain this." She closed the space between them, coming to rest her arms behind the console where Seven was standing.
"Love between two adults, romantic love that is, causes many changes to occur in both people. When you love someone, you want to give parts of yourself to them because it helps you feel closer. You hope and trust the other person will give parts of themselves to you. It's like an input/output circuit. The energy needs to keep flowing between you." She paused.
"I do not understand how that answers my question."
"Well, I'm getting there. Now. I am the Captain, true. In my professional life I outrank the Commander. But when I am not the Captain, Chakotay and I are equals. And sometimes, um, in loving someone, you want to relinquish power and control to them. You want them to take over so that you can just let go and enjoy. This exercise, as you call it, is just one of the ways I want to let Chakotay lead me. All I have to do is play along and I get rewarded." Kathryn was surprised at herself for giving this highly personal explanation, as though she were actually talking to herself and not to this ex-drone woman. It was true. She wanted Chakotay to take over sometimes, needed him to, desired him to. Her mind started wandering again, feeling the warmth spread between her legs from the stroking of his hands....
"Captain," Seven's voice broke her reverie. "Is this relinquishing of power and control always necessary in romantic love?"
Kathryn took a good look at her, noticing an uncertainty she wasn't accustomed to seeing. "The decision is a personal one of course. You won't know until you fall in love just how far you are willing to go." She suddenly wanted off this topic. "Now, I have to find my next clue if you have no further questions?"
"Thank you Captain, no."
Kathryn studied the padd in her hands again. Stars not made of gases, rocks and minerals. Fake stars. Plastered on the walls, she was in Astrometrics. She looked for the first time at the projection screen. Studied it closer. "Seven, what is that cluster?"
"I'm sorry Captain, I am not allowed to answer your questions."
Kathryn turned around sharply at that, a small smile bubbling up from inside her. She walked to the front of the console, almost shoving Seven aside to see what it said. And felt a glow of triumph. The cluster where they ran across Vinkus Five. Then felt a wholly physical response to this between her legs again. How would she ever make it through this day she thought. But, where the hell was the padd? She stepped right up to the wall with the stars on it, remembering the set up when they built this room. There was another panel, somewhere...she ran her hands along the bottom until she found it, opened it and gave herself a little cheer.
Walking out of Astrometrics, she left an ex-Borg still pondering the ins and outs of human love.
Well, Kathryn my dearest, how did you like that? I hope Seven was uncooperative in a cooperative way. Do you know how much I miss you right now? I feel your lips on mine as I toil on the surface of this planet. But back to the chase....
WHERE I'VE WATCHED YOU.
OVER THE DIN.
AS YOU APPROACH
TO JOIN ME WITH A SMILE.
Good luck my love.
Uh oh. Kathryn felt a little stumped, but perhaps it was the mention of his lips after her distractions in Astrometrics that was confusing her. He was too delicious and devious for words. She laughed out loud in the corridor, unaware of the looks she was receiving from startled crewmembers. Taking a deep breath to still her thudding heart she headed to the lift to drop off part of her bounty in her ready room.
She figured it out, or it figured her out, walking across the bridge. Originally thinking it was their command chairs and heading for Chakotay's to look behind the cushions the word 'din' popped back into the forefront of her thinking. Din. There was no real din on the bridge unless they were under attack and then she certainly wouldn't be approaching him with a smile. Din. As in dinner. Or the din of the messhall. Laughing again after dropping off the padds she headed back to the lift. Meeting Tom's eyes he actually winked and saluted her. Surprising herself to no end, she winked back.
"Captain! How nice to see you." Neelix greeted her with a huge grin on his face.
"So I take it I'm in the right place?"
"Now, Captain, you know what our instructions are." He was still smiling.
"Thank you for the confirmation, Neelix." She returned the smile. Now, where would Chakotay be watching her from? Did he have a favorite seat? Where did they usually sit together? She walked purposefully to the corner table, looking on every seat but there was nothing. Walking through the mess hall, which thankfully was mostly empty, checking all of the seats there was no padd. She could feel the eyes of the few crewmembers who were taking their mid-morning break on the couches following her movements. She put Captain Janeway back on her face and acted as if nothing was unusual about her searching all of the seats in the messhall. Frustrated, she returned to the corner table and sat, thinking, looking around her.
Neelix came up to join her, sitting after she gave her assent. "Captain, I was wondering if I could speak freely with you for a few minutes while you think about your clue?"
"Of course, Neelix. What can I do for you?"
"Well, actually, it might be something I can do for you. I did want to tell you how happy I am for you and the Commander." His smile was warm.
"Thank you. But that reminds me, why didn't you submit a report with the rest? Afraid of the brig?" She chided with a small grin.
"Not at all. I helped Naomi with hers. Actually Sam and I helped, since Sam had been given the assignment originally. The Commander wanted a woman's perspective."
"I see. I wondered who put the idea of marriage into the Captain's assistant's head."
"You did? Because I can tell you. It was Kes."
This startled Kathryn to her core. "Kes?"
"Yes. Kes and I used to talk about you and the Commander quite a lot. She was convinced that you two were soul mates, brought together by forces beyond anyone's control. And in her romantic visions of the two of you, she saw marriage. She thought it would be a very good thing for the ship, the crew and of course the two of you."
...forces beyond anyone's control. There was that word again. How Kathryn still missed Kes. She often thought she saw Kes just around the next curve of the corridor. Still. Marriage? Kes saw that even back then? She was stunned.
"Captain, have I upset you? I'm sorry."
"No, really, just thinking about how much I miss Kes. She thought we should be married?"
"She believed it."
"I don't know what to say, Neelix. Thank you." She searched his eyes. "We never talk about her, do we? You must miss her terribly." She reached out and put her hand over his on the tabletop.
"I do. But after all this time, the pain has subsided to a familiar small ache. And the morale officer can't be down too much, now can he?" He patted her hand with his other and made to rise. "Now, Captain, I believe you have a padd to find?"
"Dear me, I do. And I'm afraid your Commander may have me a bit stumped at the moment."
"He loves you too much to do that deliberately, I'm sure." She blushed at his comment. "Would you like a hint?"
"I thought you all weren't supposed to give me one of those..." She grinned.
"We're not. But, well...."
She didn't want him feeling sorry for her so she puffed her Captain's chest out a bit. "No need to help me, Neelix. I can find it. Just have to get myself into that thick head of his." They laughed together and Neelix left for the galley. Kathryn lounged back in the chair and closed her eyes, trying clear her mind of images of Kes. She crossed her legs and felt her knee hit something. Sitting up quickly she ran her hands under the table and sure enough, there was the padd. Yanking it off she brought it up and raised it triumphantly to Neelix who gave her a thumbs up and a huge smile.
Kathryn my love, you are too good. Too smart, too beautiful, too wonderful for words. Except these - I love you. Now I think this one might be ... No I won't say it.
WHERE DREAMS WERE KEPT
CLOSE TO THE HEART
AND EMBERS NURTURED
FOR THE FUTURE.
Good luck.
Oh dear, she thought. He was getting esoteric on her. Well, she would think literally and see how far that got her. Dreams. Close to the heart. She began walking down the corridor not knowing where she was going, just moving in the hopes the blood would circulate in her brain. Staying literal she pondered on the dreams. Whose dreams? Hers? What dreams did she keep? She tried not to have any other than the drive to get home. The others she successfully buried until Chakotay had dredged them up during their fight.
Chakotay. He had worn his heart on his sleeve for years over her. His dreams. Kept since New Earth. Where? Kathryn felt a tear prick her eye and walked quickly to the lift with the ultimate destination of officer's quarters.
Putting in an override code the doors to his home swooshed open for her. How strange it felt to enter without him there. She was certain she knew where the padd would be but hesitated in his main room. This was the sanctuary of Chakotay, the man she loved, her lover. That was the only way she could think about him today. She tried First Officer but that was just part of him now, whereas before she practically labeled his entire being as that. Walking slowly around the room which she had been in numerous times before she looked at everything carefully. All of the things he had accumulated since their journey started. Things made by his hands. Things replicated. Things found on various planets.
Kathryn thought about her conversation with Seven and about the day and evening past. Why had she been so willing to go along with the trust exercise at Chakotay's request? She knew in her heart that at the time she would have done anything for him after their day together. Putting on a blindfold to be led around their ship didn't seem like a big thing initially. That the crew would see her was an issue. Chakotay convinced her that ultimately no crewmember would think any less of her. She had reservations but again, was willing if for no other reason than to prove to him that she would do it. For him. But as her sight was taken away she faced a moment of panic. And though panic is not an emotion Starfleet Captains admit to or experience much, she had it. Those few minutes of standing in her quarters waiting for Chakotay to come to her side were difficult - the urge to rip off the blindfold was overpowering.
But then he had taken her hand and linked it through his arm, keeping his hand on hers and her fears dissipated. She almost told him right then the exercise was irrelevant because he had already proven his point. She felt safe. Although when they walked through the doors she felt slightly disconcerted that too went away after a few minutes of walking. It was at that point that Kathryn really understood how the exercise worked on a very basic level. There were a number of times when she hesitated in her step - turning a corner, getting on the lift - at those moments she'd feel Chakotay's hand push on hers, reassuring her. She then continued willingly. She discovered anew how much trust she really had in him.
So when they were sitting in the holodeck and he started to kiss her Kathryn realized she had already reached a point of total trust, for her. She thought again about her feelings wearing the blindfold while Chakotay made love to her. At the time she was more than surprised when he began, and her body instantly responded. It was incredibly erotic to only feel. Her brain did try and intrude a few times - she was the Captain, she was always in control and needed to be, she didn't like control taken away. Just as quickly, another part of her brain refuted all those arguments. She wanted this. Badly. She wanted to give him her all. The lovemaking was overwhelming, powerful and life changing. Again, as the first time had been only more so. Very much more so. She took some deep breaths to bring herself back to Chakotay's quarters, feeling the ache of missing him all over again.
Kathryn eventually made her way into his bedroom. Surprised again at how neat he was she took in the essence of the man. For he was everywhere in here. His scent. His energy. She went to his closet, feeling almost like a thief, to look at and feel his clothing. She pulled out his leather vest from the very back of the rack, his Maquis vest, running her hands along the front. How she had wanted to do that the first day they met. It had so startled her at the time she filed the emotion away quickly and deeply. She put the vest back and saw the shirt near to it. That was the only way she could think about that shirt. The one he wore when he told her his angry warrior story. For he rarely wore it once they were back on the ship.
She pulled it out of the closet and unaccountably began to cry, holding it to her face. Stumbling to the bed she lay down and let go. Cried from deep in her soul. Cries of regret, pain, soul searing cries of anguish. For all the time they had lost, for all of the hurt they caused each other over the years. She cried until she had no more tears to give. She yearned for his arms to hold her, his lips to soothe her, his heart to heal her. She tapped her comm.
"Janeway to Chakotay." Her heart was pounding.
"Chakotay here. Are you all right, Kathryn?" His voice was like an elixer for her soul. She knew that the crew around him was listening in and knew that he could tell she wasn't allright. She just wanted to hear him talk.
"I'm mostly fine Chakotay. How is the virilium hunt?" Just tell me everything that's happening, talk to me for a few minutes, that's all I need.
He proceeded to do just that, reporting in as usual, First Officer to the Captain. His words were irrevelant to her, she heard the man behind them talking to her, the woman behind the Captain. After a few minutes he was finished. "Was there anything else you wanted?"
"How much longer will it all take?"
"Likely to the end of the day at least. Aren't you a trifle busy at the moment to worry about the away team?" His voice teased.
She chuckled gratefully. "I am a bit. I've made it to the place of dreams." Let the crew ponder that one.
"I see. I had no doubt you would succeed." She could tell he wanted to say more but couldn't.
"Some of it has been quite challenging. And I wouldn't have missed this for anything, Chakotay. Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet. You're not done."
"Hm-m-m. That gives me pause."
"Yes. Well."
This was killing her. "Chakotay...." Damn.
"Yes?"
"You know."
"I do. You do, too." His voice softened.
"Yes I know too. I'll talk to you later?"
"I hope so. I'll check back in at 1400 hours?"
"Acknowledged." She tried to get them back on an official footing.
"Until then. Chakotay out."
She took a deep and somewhat shaky breath, stood and shook out his now wrinkled shirt and hung it back up. She vowed to ask him to wear it more often. She needed to see him in it. Returning to the bed she slowly reached beneath his pillow and pulled out the next padd.
Kathryn, you are getting close to the end of your hunt. Have you wondered yet what you are really searching for?
AN EASY ONE kATHRYN
WHERE YOU WERE
WHEN TUVOK WENT AWAY.
I love you so much.
Kathryn smiled. He was absolutely right. A very easy one. She left his quarters after splashing some cold water on her eyes to return to the bridge.
Though it seemed like an easy one she paused as she entered her ready room. They had been standing in front of the desk. His hand...she shook her head. Don't think about that she admonished. She looked at the floor. She looked in the chairs. On the desk were only the padds she had dropped off earlier and she added the two she held to the pile. The ribbons were still around her neck. She pulled them off and lay them across the back of her chair.
So where in the world had Chakotay left a padd here? It had to be connected with her desk. Feeling tired Kathryn went to her replicator for a cup of coffee then sat in her chair. The big chair was how she sometimes thought of it. Pondered and sipped the strong bitter brew. Let the memories of yesterday simply wash over her. From the moment she admitted to herself she would give in to him until he was kissing and holding her. Then to their lovemaking session on the top of her desk. He was an amazing lover she thought. Her body memories stirred by the caffeine she let herself drift into arousal. And love.
She opened her eyes, realizing how silly she was being. Chakotay hid all of the padds up till now. She pulled the drawer of her desk and there was a padd with a ribbon around it.
My dearest love, here is your last clue. Have you figured out what this hunt is for yet? Do you know how much I love you?
WHERE TWO SOULS MET
IN BLISS
AND WERE FOREVER CHANGED.
Kathryn, the end is near. Or is it the beginning?
Kathryn could think of only one place that fit this criteria. One place where they were forever changed. One place.
Crawling into the jeffries tube on deck fourteen she gasped at the sight before her. Red rose petals scattered on the floor of the tube led her to the place where they had made love for the first time. And there she found one red rose, a seat cushion against the wall, and a real paper envelope. She sat on the cushion, lifted the rose to inhale the scent and finally picked up the envelope. Her name was written on the front. More of Chakotay's handwriting. Her heart began to pound for some reason that she didn't want to think about too much. Her hands were even shaking just a bit. Kathryn chided herself and took a deep breath then removed the letter she found and began to read.
My dearest Kathryn,
You have made me the happiest man in the galaxy, as I told you yesterday
morning. I never thought a time would exist when you would come to me and
give me your love. When you would allow me to love you fully. I know you
remember what happened here, how we loved each other for the first time,
the heights of ecstacy we took each other to. The way our souls met somewhere
above our heads as we loved each other.
But I wonder if you know what else happened here. How you trusted me. How
I trusted you. What beauty I saw in your eyes, beauty I had only imagined
in my dreams until then. And how scared you were. How you ran and tried
to hide from the love we have. I only ask that you think about the fear
you felt, the hesitation, the doubt and then think about what changed that
for you. How you came back to me and why you did. How we have been since
yesterday morning.
And what happened last night. The most incredible way you showed me that
you trusted me completely. Fully. Gave yourself wholly over to me, with
love, and passion, and your beautiful heart. Allowed me to be in control.
No protocols, no command, nothing but you and me. Heart to heart. Soul
to soul. Trust exemplified.
I ask you to think on these things for the most basic of reasons. I love
you with everything in me. I want to spend the rest of my days with you.
To love you with abandon until I can do it no longer because I'm dead.
To grow old with you. To take these good people, our friends, home again.
To take us home again. Together. I want to marry you, Kathryn. Please will
you join me in marriage?
All my love,
Chakotay
Kathryn felt the tears falling down her cheeks before she realized she was crying. She felt gratitude that this cry was different than the one in Chakotay's bedroom. Not tears of regret or pain. She sat and let them fall freely as the letter was reread and reread, the words etching themselves in her memory. To be taken out in the future and looked at anew. To know that the most basic of emotions gave them the most basic of reasons to be together.
She thought about everything he asked her to. For quite awhile she thought, and remembered, and dreamed. Turned everything over, looked at all possible permutations, ramifications, reasons to and reasons to not. What an extraordinary man he was. Fate. Destiny. Control. Love.
Ensign Rosemont looked up with surprise to see his Captain returning.
"Ensign. Have you participated in any of Lt. Paris' betting pools?"
He didn't know how to answer. Was this a trick question?
"Come on Ensign, don't worry. I won't put you on report. I merely wanted to give you a heads up." She was coming up the steps to the control console. "You know that pool called 'First Public Kiss'?"
He nodded dumbly.
"Well, you might want to place a bet in the next five minutes in that one. Transporter Room One. Time? 1138 hours, by my calculation. Stardate? Today." She had a crooked grin on her face. Still he hesitated.
"Are you there, Ensign? Think about the rations you'll clean up on. And believe me, I'll verify it. Heck, we can even call the bridge crew here to watch. Go ahead - call Lt. Paris. And by the way -- I think this might be crunch time."
"Yes, ma'am." With his chuckling Captain watching him, he placed the call and the bet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kathryn was enjoying herself immensely. She waited until her Ensign was finished and within three minutes by her estimation the bridge crew, plus Neelix and Seven and even the Doctor had assembled. She said nothing to them, merely worked the controls. Then handing over to Rosemont she stepped down to stand in front of the transporter pad. Her heart was fairly drowning out any other sound in her ears. With one last prayer of gratitude to Kes she turned and nodded.
Chakotay materialized in front of her, a look of confusion on his face until his eyes found hers. She held open her arms and smiled. His face broke into rapturous bliss as he stepped down and wrapped himself around her. He finally pulled back and looked at her once more.
"Well?" He said.
"Yes. Yes. Yes, Chakotay. I'll marry you." And as their lips
met, their mouths melting together, their bodies pressing tightly, they
barely heard the gasps behind them turning to upbeat words to pats on the
back and finally to cheers.
-------
The End?
Next is the Epilogue
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