Summary:  Part 13 of "Home"
Copyright May 2001 Cassatt

Chakotay and Kathryn continued to stand next to the defense table as the activity in the courtroom swirled around them. The sound of a deep voice broke into their reverie.

"Captain. Commander. Lieutenant Torres and Lieutenant Paris will be well taken care of by the Doctor. He is the logical one to assist in the birth of their child. You must remain focused," Tuvok said quietly.

The three commanding officers from Voyager looked at each other. It was Kathryn who broke the momentary silence. "Thank you, Tuvok. I know the Doctor will do fine, and I know B'Elanna will, too. It's just... we were supposed to be there for the birth, at least that was the plan at one point, a while back. We just assumed it would still happen that way, even with this...." She faltered, not knowing how to explain it to a Vulcan.

Mueller interrupted them, instructing Chakotay to sit with him and the other two to return to their seats. Kathryn was surrounded by her family as she sat, numbly staring at the back of the man she loved, whose head was being held in his hands, the father of her own future children, wondering how quickly B'Elanna's labor would progress and feeling the loss of something precious between the four of them. A broken promise made.

The judge returned to the bench, the audience began to quiet, the security officer called for order and finally the judge spoke to a relatively silent courtroom.

"Lieutenant Commander Williams, do you consider yourself finished with the redirect of Lieutenant Torres?"

"No, your honor. The tribunal reserves the right to return her to the stand."

The judge sighed. "Very well. Noted. As it is nearly 1500 hours, and unless you are prepared to call another witness whose testimony would be complete in one hour, I will adjourn. Do you have such a witness?"

Williams looked hard at the judge, then conferred with his assistant. After whispering together for a few minutes, the prosecutor raised his head. "No, your honor, not immediately ready to take the stand. The tribunal prosecution of Mr. Chakotay will continue in the morning."

The judge looked to the defense table. To Mueller, it appeared as though he was going to say something then stopped himself. Chakotay was barely seeing anything right then, focusing somewhere in front of him, his mind on the baby making her way down the birth canal.

"This court, then, is adjourned until 0900 tomorrow morning. Commander Chakotay?"

Chakotay looked at the judge, focusing on the older man.

The judge's voice dropped slightly. "God's speed, sir, to your sister...and her daughter."

"Thank you," Chakotay responded, stunned out of his numbness.

The judge nodded, rose, and left the courtroom as everyone else stood up as quickly as they could. The tribunal rose and followed him. The door shut behind them. Bedlam erupted.

Mueller quickly looked behind him, meeting Kathryn's eyes, waving her to follow. She grabbed her family and headed to the front of the courtroom as reporters called out questions to her, close at their heels. Everyone made it into the conference room. But as the others sat, Chakotay opened his arms and Kathryn went into them without hesitation. They needed the connection, needed to feel something real, each other. At that moment, nothing else mattered. Eventually they sat as well.

"I know this is probably a very stupid question, but how are you," Mueller asked his client.

"I have no idea," he answered honestly.

"Well, then, why don't you sit here while I go outside and talk to the reporters so they'll leave. I'll give them a five minute press conference. I won't give them anything specific. My specialty," Mueller said with a small smile. After seeing the acknowledgment on the faces surrounding him, he left.

Those remaining in the room began to talk.

"Hello everyone, yes I'll answer a few questions," Mueller said to the crowd of reporters who had followed him out of the courtroom, into the corridor, jockeying for the best position and raising their hands up eagerly. He pointed to a man somewhere in the middle.

"Sir, I've been covering legal proceedings for many years. I've never heard an instruction given to the prosecutor as I heard today. The judge requesting a witness whose testimony would finish in an allotted time. What did you make of it?"

"I've never seen or heard it either. I trust the judge had sufficient grounds for the request. I have no comment on any interpretation at this time." He pointed to a woman nearby.

"Along that same line, have you ever witnessed a judge address a defendant directly, other than for sentencing or an admonishment?"

"No, I haven't. Again, I do not care to speculate on any interpretation." As he was about to signal another reporter, the woman spoke again.

"But Commander, wouldn't you admit that the judge appears to be sympathetic to your client at this point?"

"I can make no comment on that," he said as he pointed to another woman.

"Well Commander, can you comment on what exactly the witness meant when she referred to the defendant as her brother? Are they really brother and sister? Was this a fact that was kept secret for some reason?"

Mueller smiled. This was what he was hoping someone would ask. "They are not biologically brother and sister. They consider themselves to be .... honorary siblings. They have none of their own and have been close friends for many years. Commander Chakotay has had a big brother type of relationship with Lieutenant Torres." He pointed to another reporter.

"How is the labor progressing, sir?" asked the young man.

"The Commander has not had the opportunity as yet to speak with the Paris' so I have no information for you......"

The questions and answers continued. Only a few were about the former Maquis crewmates and their testimony, or lack thereof.

They said good bye to their family on the short walk home from the transporter hub. Gretchen and Phoebe were going to eat at Erin's, but Chakotay and Kathryn needed to get home, to call Owen Paris. Their meeting with Mueller hadn't lasted a long time, but still it was almost 1700 hours, and they had no idea how quickly or slowly the labor would go.

Approaching their door they were both surprised to see things on their front step. Bunches of flowers, some old fashioned envelopes and even a container or two of baked goods greeted them. The surprise gave way to pure, sweet gratitude. Each gift bore a message of good luck and welcome for B'Elanna and Tom's baby. Given by the neighbors. Each had a signature, an address and a vidphone code. With blurry eyes they picked up what they could and entered their home. It still took two trips to gather it all.

The relief they felt as the door finally swooshed shut was overwhelming. Chakotay again reached for Kathryn, picking her up easily as she wrapped her legs around him, using the wall to support her, just holding each other as tightly as they could. Their mouths met softly, lovingly. Their need was to kiss each other's pain away, to nurture, to heal, to remind themselves that their love was what truly mattered. They gave this to one another until smiles replaced the tight tension in their faces, until soft laughs of a joke shared replaced talk of feeling victimized and until they felt they could call their friends with joy and not fear in their hearts.

Chakotay let Kathryn down slowly, promising her more later, a promise she claimed she would not let him renege on. They went quickly to the vidphone, both of them pulling off their boots and socks while they waited for Owen to answer.

"Spirits, the one thing I love about being off the ship and in our own home is being barefoot, whenever I want. Wherever I want," Chakotay sighed as he stretched his toes.

"I trust that's not the only thing you love about it..." Kathryn teased. The beeps of a transmission waiting for reply continued.

He grinned at her and leaned forward, grabbing the arms of her chair and pulling it quickly to him as she let out a little squeal. He stopped her laughter by falling on her lips and kissing her deeply.

"Ahem..." a deep voice coming from the vidphone interrupted them.

He pulled back quickly, laughed and pushed her chair away.

"Excuse us, Owen," Kathryn said with a chuckle as Chakotay turned around and tried to look respectful.

"Quite all right, trust me. So how..." A scream was heard in the background, followed by the sound of the Doctor's raised voice. Owen momentarily turned, then faced front again. "Yes, well, enough niceties. She's doing well, as you can tell."

"Has she threatened to delete his program yet?" Chakotay asked with a straight face.

Owen smiled deeply. "Once or twice. Tom is doing a fine job of keeping her focused."

A very distinct "p'takh!" floated to them all.

"The Doctor says he thinks it's just going to be another maybe hour and a half before the baby is here, but things are moving more quickly than he anticipated. B'Elanna has been asking about you both, she's instructed me to inform you that if you don't get your .... well, you know, over here she'll rip your hearts out," the Admiral finished with a wink.

Kathryn had never seen the man so relaxed and excited, much less winking. She turned to Chakotay. "We have time, honey, we have to do this," she said quickly.

"Of course we do..." he said, turning back to the screen. "Admiral Paris, tell her that we're on our way, we have to eat something and get changed but we'll be tearing out the door asap." He got up. "Kath, I'll go get some sandwiches made..." he was moving already. "And apples... want coffee?"

"Yes, please!" she called out to the retreating back. "Owen, thank you. Tell B'Elanna we love her, okay? Oh, you're still at the same place, right?"

"Yes, the hub is now called Nob Hill - the preservations committee won. You remember, one block west and then four blocks south..." Another scream was heard. "I'll tell her, Kathryn, don't worry, you'll get here in time."

"Are there any reporters outside?" She was unzipping her jacket.

"Just a minute." He left. She took off her pips and picked up as many boots and socks as she could. "Not that I can see, at least not directly out front, though it looks like there are more hovercars than normal on the street."

"Okay. We'll take care of them if we see them. See you soon."

"The code for the door is two alpha zero zero nine. Just let yourselves in."

"Got it," she said, repeating it in her head. "Bye!"

"Bye Kathryn."

The link closed before she could hit the button. She ran to the bedroom and dumped what was in her arms, proceeding to tear off her uniform but hang it up for the next day. Turtleneck and the two pairs of socks went into the clothes refresher. She rummaged quickly through her drawers, pulling out some slacks and a loose top, got them on, brushed her hair and went running back down the hall toward the kitchen. The cheese and greens sandwiches were made and Chakotay's was half eaten already as he cut up some apples. She finished up the coffee, poured it, ate her dinner and got him some iced tea from the cold storage. They moved around the kitchen and each other with speed and ease. She was momentarily struck by how much ease and smiled at him. He returned it. He headed down to the bedroom to change and she followed with the rest of the apples and her coffee. He mimicked her routine and soon they were both changed with dinner and drinks consumed. They looked at the chronometer.

"Fifteen minutes, honey, from when I came in here after the call," she said.

His head was in the closet. "Damn it, where's my brown sweater?"

"I think I saw it on the bottom shelf..." she answered, pulling out a white one for herself from the dresser, coming to the closet for shoes. She slipped them on as he shouted triumphantly. Putting his on quickly he took her hand. She grabbed the minipadd off the dresser and handed it to him as they trotted down the hallway. He shoved it in his tunic pocket and they flew out the door.

At the transporter hub, they were greeted by their friend. "Nob Hill," Kathryn said, grateful the hub was deserted.

"How's the baby?" he asked them as they stepped quickly up onto the pad.

"She hasn't arrived yet, we're on our way," Chakotay answered with a smile.

"Well, Commander, Captain, I hope the birth goes smoothly. My best wishes to everyone," he said sincerely, his hand poised over the controls.

"Wait!" Kathryn called out. "I just wanted to say thank you. Okay, send us on."

He saluted with a big grin and rang his fingers over the console. They dematerialized.

"One block west, four blocks south, two alpha zero zero nine..." Kathryn muttered to herself. Chakotay grabbed her hand and they walked rapidly out of the Nob Hill hub.

"I love you..." he said, grinning down at her.

"I love you, too. Hey, wanna get married and have some children?"

Their pace quickened as they were on a slight downgrade. "Of course, but maybe you should wait until you see this birth. You might change your mind after what B'El's going through..."

"Might be too late to change my mind," she said, glancing up at him.

"Damn..." he said as he slowed.

She was still looking at him and felt a stab in her heart at his words. "What do you mean by that?" she asked in a small voice. Her eyes filled. He turned to her quickly.

"Oh, no, sweetheart, I didn't mean that about us having a baby... look - there's a load of reporters down the next block. Oh, Kathryn, I'm sorry," he said with a sigh, stopping abruptly, pulling her close.

She felt like an idiot, with tears falling down her cheeks for no good reason. "No, I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm fine, honestly." She pulled back and turned to look ahead. Seeing the crowd, she took a deep breath, wiping her face. "Come on, let's do it." They started walking again. "I promised Owen we'd take care of any reporters. We'll have to no comment them."

"You know, maybe there's a reason you're more emotional. Maybe it's stress. Maybe something else..."

"I'm just tired."

"Well, then, we'll just get you into bed as early as we can." He wasn't sure he bought the tired excuse. He'd heard what she said. Maybe it was too late for them to change their minds. His heart swelled.

As they got closer, assessing the situation, they saw the reporters were actually clustered around one of the hovervans, talking and joking amongst themselves. Kathryn could understand how Owen hadn't been able to see the group considering the wall and gate that enclosed the Paris property. The group was really in front of the neighbor's home either way. The two of them slowed down by unspoken mutual agreement.

"Look, honey, there's Lisa Landry," Kathryn whispered.

"I bet she'd be willing to help us out, let's give her an exclusive and tell the others they won't find out anything, no matter what. Tom and B'Elanna won't have to talk to anyone..."

"I like it," she agreed.

The reporters suddenly noticed them and began to swarm, slowly however. Chakotay made eye contact with Lisa and motioned her to follow them. They walked purposefully past everyone and to the gate. Lisa was right with them. They turned.

"I have an announcement to make," Chakotay called out in his rich baritone. He hoped this would shut the rest of them up long enough. It worked. "On behalf of the Paris household, I want to thank you for taking an interest in the birth of Admiral Paris' grandchild. However, Captain Janeway and I will be talking to only one reporter, Lisa Landry. After that, we will be entering the house. No one will answer your questions, no matter how long you stay out here. We all sincerely hope you will respect the wishes of the parents, and of the Admiral in this situation. Thank you." He and Kathryn turned and opened the gate, taking Lisa up to the front door with them.

"I can't thank you enough, Commander, Captain for this chance. Once again, you are giving my career a hearty boost," Lisa said with a smile. "Now, what's happening?" She took our her padd.

"This first part is off the record, Lisa, all right?" Kathryn said. Lisa nodded. "B'Elanna Torres is still in labor. We are very lucky to be able to be here for the birth. She's doing fine and the baby is expected to come into this world in approximately an hour or so. Now this is what we'd like you to report. In three hours, if you don't hear from us, report that Tom and B'Elanna had a healthy, beautiful baby girl, that the labor was swift and smooth," she smiled at Chakotay, "and that mother, father and grandparents are all doing well. There has been no name chosen at this time. You can say that we were here for the birth. And that the entire crew of Voyager is happy and excited at the arrival of their newest member. Okay? Are you willing to do that?"

Lisa looked at them closely. "Yes, but I have one question. Is it true that the doctor delivering the baby is an EMH Mark One?"

Kathryn looked at Chakotay. He shrugged an assent. "Yes, that's true, though the Doctor has actually exceeded his original programming to such an extent that he could be considered sentient at this point. He was Voyager's Doctor for the entire duration of our journey, and, well, B'Elanna and Harry Kim were the genius' who expanded his program. Perhaps one day you can meet him and interview him, with Starfleet's permission, of course. He's an interesting man."

"Now, if there's nothing else, we're quite anxious to get inside," Chakotay added.

Lisa paused then shook her head. "Thank you again. Oh, you need my phone code..." she began to dig around in her bag. Chakotay pulled out their minipadd, opened a blank entry and gave it to her. "Always prepared, Commander?" She smiled at him as she put her code in and handed it back.

"We have alot of calls to make once the baby comes," he answered, returning her smile.

She shook her head slightly. "Has anyone ever told you those dimples of yours should be classified?"

Kathryn guffawed, she couldn't stop herself. She watched Chakotay blush and slapped him playfully on the arm. "He'll never admit it, Lisa, but he uses them, as the prosecution says, ruthlessly. So, we're going inside. I don't expect you'll hear from us." They all shook hands and Kathryn put in the code to open the door.

"I told you, damn it, I AM breathing..." was heard from upstairs, followed by a loud groan. They waved goodbye to a laughing reporter, quickly shut the door and ran up to the second floor, easily following the noises.

Tom was sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard. A moaning B'Elanna was propped up against his chest, one of her hands clutching that of her mother-in-law, the other holding on to her husband's. Her face was a shade of red neither Kathryn nor Chakotay had ever seen on her before. The Doctor was between her knees.

"Come on B'El, you're doing great," Tom panted harshly along with her, "that's right, in, out, in, out..." She groaned in between breaths. The Doctor ran the tricorder and checked her visually then held up his hand.

"Stop!"

She collapsed into Tom. He tenderly wiped her hair away and noticed the new arrivals for the first time. So did Marie and at the sight of them, she pried her hand out of B'Elanna's, flexing her fingers.

"Chakotay! Kathryn!" Tom called out. "Look honey, they made it. God, am I glad to see you..."

B'Elanna opened her eyes to mere slits and contemplated them, her brow glistening with sweat. "Where the hell have you been? I can't wait forever, you know. She's not being very patient..." she said, giving them a very wan smile. More a grimace, really.

"Gee, B'Elanna, I can't imagine where she gets her impatience," Chakotay teased, walking quickly up to her, then leaning over and kissing her ridges.

"Look, either one of you, I don't think I can use my hand," Marie said with a grin, "so could you take over this duty for me?"

They threw off their sweaters and eagerly joined in. Kathryn went to the far side of the bed and took one of her hands, Chakotay sat down where Marie had been and took the other. "You can squeeze the hell out of it, you can't hurt it, I promise," he told her. B'Elanna squeezed both hands she held in response, her eyes still closed.

"The head is getting close to crowning," the Doctor called out, "at the next contraction, I want you to push, just until I say stop. You're doing great..." The patient answered with a growl.

Marie took the opportunity to grab the glass of water, putting the tube straw into B'Elanna's mouth, rewarded with long drinks taken. She stroked her son's head lovingly. He smiled and took some water when his wife was finished. "You're both doing great, Tom."

"Thanks, Mom."

Owen, in the meantime, was snapping images every minute or so.

"Okay, a contraction's coming..." the Doctor said. B'Elanna began to growl, then moan and yell inarticulately. "PUSH!" She pushed, straining, growling, squeezing hands for dear life. "Stop!"

She groaned, "I don't want to...." as she collapsed again.

"Here, B'Elanna, give me your hand," the Doctor instructed. Kathryn gave him the one she was holding, grateful to be released. He pulled gently and placed the mother's hand between her legs. "See, feel that? That's your baby's head, she's getting ready to come out..."

"Feels like a walnut...." she replied tiredly, moving her hand away, letting it fall on the mattress.

"Tom, if you want to catch your daughter, you'd better change positions with the Commander."

The two men quickly changed places, Chakotay lifting B'Elanna away enough to scoot in behind her, pulling her back to his chest, stroking her hair, while Tom took his place with the Doctor. He gasped.

"That's her? Good grief." He reached out and tenderly touched the walnut.

"The head should come out with the next contraction..." The Doctor ran the tricorder again, taking the opportunity to show his medic the readings, explaining their meaning. Tom met Kathryn's eyes and winked. She grinned, then turned her attention to the exhausted woman in front of her. She picked up B'Elanna's hand and stroked it. She met Chakotay's eyes.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she answered.

"Here we go, B'Elanna..." She was starting to groan as the words came out of his mouth. "PUSH! NOW!" Once more she was pushing, straining and growling loudly.

Chakotay finally was able to grab her flailing hand and she clamped down on it hard. "That's good, 'Lanna, you can do it..." he said softly in her ear, though he doubted she could hear it.

"Stop! The head's out..." And once more she collapsed back into her 'pillow'. Marie came over with a towel and dried off her face, speaking soothing words, while Chakotay stroked her hair gently.

The Doctor worked on cleaning out the baby's eyes. Tom was overwhelmed. "The head's out, honey, you should see this..."

Kathryn was the one to look. She was astonished. There was the baby they'd all been talking about for seemingly forever. The hair was fair, there were slight ridges on her forehead.

"B'Elanna! I need you to look at me," the Doctor said sharply. His patient opened her eyes gradually. "This next one will be coming very soon. This is it, the whole thing, you're going to deliver your baby. You need to push like you've never pushed before, understand?"

"Like I haven't been doing that..." she muttered. "Your program's gonna be deleted tomorrow..."

"I'm certain that will give you some pleasure, Lieutenant, but your threats do not scare me. Do you understand?"

"I understand!" She growled loudly. "Tom, this is our last child, got it?"

Chakotay took the risk and met the eyes of his former pilot. Tom's blue eyes were dancing. The Commander knew that look. Sorry, B'El, he's not gonna follow that one...

"Sure, honey, this is our last child, no problem. You just save your strength..."

The Doctor interrupted him as the tricorder beeped significantly. "Get ready, B'Elanna..." but again she was already starting to groan loudly. "PUSH!" She screamed, pushed, strained, groaned and screamed some more. "Harder!" This got a louder scream.

Kathryn wrenched her attention away from her hand and her attempts to will some strength into her friend. She looked at the baby. One shoulder was out, the Doctor was maneuvering the other one, Tom was right there, his hands already holding his daughter's head.

"A little more, B'Elanna, come on..." the Doctor called out.

Chakotay leaned forward and put his mouth against her ear. "By the strength of Kahless, B'Elanna, push your baby out.... now!" He felt her strain increase fractionally as she screamed at the top of her lungs.

"SHE'S OUT!" Tom yelled.

The mother collapsed hard. Chakotay was afraid she passed out. "B'El, you still with us?" he said softly. She moaned in response. "Good. Congratulations, sweetheart, you have a daughter." She moaned again, but he could see her trying to open her eyes.

Tom was cutting and cauterizing the cord with the laser scapel, having just a bit of difficulty for the tears streaming down his face. Owen was still taking images. Marie was crying openly. So was Kathryn.

"She okay?" B'Elanna called out weakly.

"She's fine, just fine, another moment and you can hold her..." the Doctor reassured her, he and Tom finishing up cleaning out the mouth and nose, seeing her breath on her own after her father rubbed her back and chest. The tricorder was run over her.

"She's beautiful, B'Elanna, beautiful..." Tom said. He looked up and saw his wife watching him. Their eyes locked.

"Tom, you may take your daughter to her mother now," the Doctor said softly. Tom picked the baby up gingerly and brought her over, placing her on B'Elanna's chest. She pulled her shirt out from under her daughter, allowing skin to skin contact. Finally the mother began to cry.

"She is beautiful, isn't she...." she said, reverently, holding the tiny baby to her as she cried and hiccuped. Tom helped Chakotay get out from behind, and both men got some pillows to replace the hard bodies that had held her up. Chakotay stretched, hugged Tom, then went to Kathryn's side. They held each other tightly.

Marie went to the dresser and got out some receiving blankets, taking them to her son. "Tom, you're going to need to wrap her up, B'Elanna's not finished quite yet."

That stopped her crying. "Not finished? Doctor, what part didn't you tell me?"

"Yes, well, I estimate that in a few minutes, you're going to have another contraction. You'll have to pass the placenta. It won't be as hard as what you just went through, but it won't be easy. You can do it, B'Elanna, don't worry."

She cried again. "No.... I can't do anymore...."

"Yes. You can. You all agree with me, don't you?" The Doctor looked around significantly at the humans surrounding him.

A chorus of agreement was heard.

B'Elanna stopped crying long enough to growl, "That's the biggest bunch of shit I've ever heard..."

Chakotay, laughing softly, touched Tom's arm. "Let me help you, I'll show you how to wrap the baby, we've got to get her off, now." He took one of the blankets and placed it on her back.

Tom followed his lead and tucked the blanket around his daughter, then rolled her over gently. He once again picked her up, Chakotay moving his left hand a bit higher, to support the head more firmly. Chakotay then took the other blankets off Tom's shoulder and lay them out on the bed. Tom followed and placed the baby on them while Chakotay showed him the traditional swaddling method he had learned from the village elders. The two men smiled at each other as the baby's quiet fussing stopped immediately.

"Not so hard, is it, big guy?"

Chakotay chuckled. "No, it's not." Tom bent over and gently picked her up, supporting her head correctly this time, putting his daughter on his shoulder. Chakotay squeezed his other shoulder with affection.

Kathryn and Marie attended to B'Elanna, cleaning off her face with the towel and a wet cloth. Her eyes had closed again and she made no protest as the two women worked around her, picking up her hands, wiping them off, laying them back down on the bed.

"Okay, B'Elanna, you're getting close..." She started to moan more softly, weaker than before. Kathryn immediately sat down and picked up her arm, Marie went around to the other side and picked up the other one.

"I can't..."

"Yes you can, I need you to stay with me... now, B'Elanna, push now!" She groaned as the contraction over took her exhausted body, the sound coming from a deeper place.

"I don't think...." she moaned, straining.

"Push!"

She pushed but it wasn't hard enough, both women holding her could tell. Kathryn spoke sharply to her. "B'Elanna, look at me." She complied. "You can do this, I know you can..." Their eyes locked. B'Elanna pushed harder. "Yes. Harder. Now. Harder!" B'Elanna started to scream again as she pushed harder, her eyes never leaving Kathryn's, pulling on her arms, giving it everything she had left. Her scream intensified. The placenta came out in a rush. She collapsed completely, falling back on the bed. Kathryn and Marie immediately attended to her again, speaking soft words of support, cleaning her up once more. The Doctor continued with his scanning.

"You are doing wonderfully, B'Elanna. Now, in a few minutes, we'll just get you up and you can step into the shower, get cleaned up while the rest of us clean up the bed. Doesn't that sound nice?"

She opened her eyes slightly and tried to glare at the hologram. "You have got  to be kidding."

"Now, now, you can fuss all you want, but you're going to get cleaned up properly. Doctor's orders."

Tom grinned at his wife. She met his eyes and rolled hers then closed them tiredly. Chakotay was looking at the tiny face over Tom's shoulder. He began to speak to himself, stroking the girl's head. Tom turned his head. "Another blessing?"

"A welcome from me and Kathryn to her. A promise made."

Tom's eyes filled against his will. "Thank you, Chakotay."

"You're welcome. Thank you for letting us be here."

"I'm sure you'll get to return the favor someday? Maybe a soon someday?"

Chakotay smiled enigmatically. "Maybe."

Owen captured the image. He walked up to the bed again and got one of the three women, almost three generations. He was having the time of his life.

Tom knew it was going to be up to him to get his wife into the shower. He turned to Chakotay. "Wanna hold her? I think I'm needed."

"I'd love to..." They performed the exchange, Tom taking one last feel of his daughter's head before leaving her. Chakotay held her gently to his shoulder, sighing deeply, tears forming as he felt the small chest moving up and down. He inhaled. New baby smell. It was amazing how delicious she smelled. He hoped the Doctor practiced what the tribal midwives had, and wouldn't wash her for a couple of days. He was completely overwhelmed. This was his godchild. He prayed with all his heart that he'd get to spend the first years of her life in her company. He smelled another familiar scent as her hand rested on his arm. He opened his eyes.

Kathryn was crying freely. Seeing him holding this tiny baby, his hand almost covering her entire body, his face in such bliss, she couldn't hold herself together any longer. God, please, be good to us.

He held out his arm, she stepped into the embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist, crying softly against his chest as he held her tightly to him.

"Sh-h-h, Kath, it's gonna be okay, remember? Fate isn't that cruel. Everything's gonna be okay honey."

"I just want time. I don't want to lose any more time..."

"I know. So, you want to hold her now?"

She wiped her face on some tissues she'd grabbed off the bedside table. She blew her nose. "Are my hands clean enough?"

"Absolutely. B'El's going to breast feed, right? She'll be fine."

She stepped back a bit and he took the baby off his shoulder, handing her over gently. Kathryn cradled her in her arms, staring at the tiny face and the one little hand poking up by her chin. "She's beautiful, isn't she? Oh, little one, I can hardly wait to get to know you. You are going to be something, you know that? And have I got stories to tell you about your parents..."

Owen took more images, vowing to print these off quickly.

"And your mother's relationship with a certain warp core," Chakotay added.

They looked at each other and laughed softly. They were holding part of their future, and she was fine, healthy, strong and likely brilliant. Owen caught this image, too. Kathryn turned her head. "Owen, don't you want to hold your grandchild? Marie?"

Marie was over in a nanosecond. Once more the exchange took place, this time the baby was traded for an imager. Kathryn got her turn capturing images for the Paris album. The one quarter Klingon baby of their renegade son and daughter-in-law. The grandparents couldn't have looked prouder or more pleased.

Chakotay in the mean time gathered up the sheets, picking up the placenta in the process and carrying it out of the room. He made his way down the stairs, looking for a back door. He found one off the kitchen. Coming back upstairs, he heard the shower turn off. He hurried, and he and Kathryn quickly made the bed with clean sheets they found in the hall. They also found a clean blanket, the other one having gotten blood on it as well.

A wet-haired Tom and B'Elanna came back into the room, he was supporting most of her weight, but still she walked well enough to get herself back into bed, groaning softly as she lay down. Tom sat next to her with his back once more against the headboard. Their daughter was brought over to them and by, perhaps, mutual understanding, they were left alone to do what new families do. Get to know each other.

"Admiral Paris, I put the placenta in the back yard. I don't know what tradition is here but in my tribe the placenta is buried and a tree is planted over it. For good luck and a long life to the new child," Chakotay said, feeling a bit uncomfortable suddenly.

The older man clapped the younger one on the shoulder. "Now, first of all, call me Owen. After all you're the godparent, so you're next to family. That is if I can do the same?"

Chakotay smiled and nodded.

"Okay, good. This placenta tradition. I like it. Good symbology. Would be a good project for me and Tom to do, don't you think?" He looked at Chakotay significantly.

"Yes, Owen, I do think that would be good. I'm sure Tom would appreciate it," he replied sincerely.

"You know," the Doctor chimed in, "the tradition of placenta disposal varies from culture to culture depending, of course, on which part of the hemisphere the particular culture originates and which planet they come from as well. In my studies of the birthing processes..."

Kathryn interrupted him. "Thank you, Doctor, I would love to hear all about it, but at the moment why don't we all get something to drink? I could use some, I don't know, orange juice or something like that. Owen, Marie, can we rummage through your cold storage?" Kathryn took the Doctor's arm.

"But Captain, I don't think I should leave my patients just yet..." His voice had a yearning to it that almost melted her heart.

"I'm sure they'll be fine for a few minutes."

Marie ushered them all downstairs for refreshments.

"Here's something to eat and drink..." Chakotay carried the tray into the new parents. Marie joyfully took the baby out of their arms with the Doctor hovering, performing another scan. Kathryn contemplated taking him off line but couldn't do it. Owen was collecting more images.

Tom and B'Elanna looked exhausted, radiant and excited. While they ate, conversation revolved around the placenta project and calling friends and family. The baby was fussed over by all four of the other human adults in the room and the one photonic being as well.

Chakotay and Kathryn volunteered to begin calling the crew, with Harry being the exception. Tom would call him in person. They were shown to the study down the hall. This was the first opportunity they had to be truly alone. They took full advantage of it, holding each other, allowing the intense emotions of the evening to be expressed, talking very little but communicating a great deal. Their lips drifted together culminating in a passionate kiss that they both needed, almost desperately. They didn't hear the door opening.

"Excuse me," Tom said teasingly.

"Go away, Paris..." Chakotay muttered with a smile as he pulled back from Kathryn's blushing face. Unbelievably, they had never been caught quite so.... obviously before that moment by a member of their crew. Other than Tuvok, that is. They'd been fairly discreet on the ship, at least about public displays of affection. Lip locking affection, anyhow. Kathryn was acutely embarrassed. Chakotay cupped her face and moved her away from hiding against his chest. He rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs and gazed into her eyes. Her discomfort vanished. Her need for him resurfaced and she contemplated what to do about it. The sounds of a softly fussing baby broke the spell.

"Hey, you two, don't you have some calls to make?" Tom said with a chuckle. They turned. He was gently bouncing his daughter and grinning like a kid.

"Lieutenant. Are you questioning your commanding officers?" Kathryn asked with a grin of her own.

"Hell no, ma'am, just teasing a couple of good friends," he answered, coming to the desk and propping himself on the edge. "So, have you called anyone yet, or are you in need of a room maybe?" His laughter caused the baby to fuss some more. "Oh, sorry, little one, sh-h-h," he crooned to her, still bouncing.

Kathryn came around the desk and rubbed the baby's head. "That's right, honey, you tell your daddy he shouldn't be making rude remarks like that..." Her bright eyes caught those of her pilot's, her smile reflected his.

Chakotay offered a suggestion. "Tom, why don't you call Harry, he should be the first one, anyhow. We'll hold the baby..."

"I bet you will. But actually I was thinking B'El's father should be called first. She refuses to say yes or no when I suggest it. I'm considering doing it anyhow. What do you think, Chakotay?"

He didn't hesitate. "Call him. So she gets a little angry. She needs to mend that fence, we all know it, this is a perfect opportunity."

"A little angry... ha. She'll eat one of my organs for lunch, another for dinner. But, I agree with you. I'll call him, then Harry..." he said, rising from his perch. Kathryn reached out her hands. Tom reluctantly passed the baby.

"We'll call Tuvok first, then Neelix and Sam, start the phone tree again," Kathryn said as she stared at the baby's face, rocking her gently. Chakotay joined her. They sat on the small couch while Tom started the vidphone.

"Hello, Mr. Torres, yes, she had the baby......."

They smiled at each other listening to the conversation and cuddled together, cradling a sleeping godchild in their arms. The outside world seemed very very far away.

After B'Elanna and Tom took the time to talk to the Doctor and thank him sincerely for everything he did, Tom took him on a tour of the house with the promise he could stay on line for another few hours not just to work, but get a chance to visit both with Tom and his parents. The baby, still unnamed but likely to be called Miral, was put in her bassinette next to B'Elanna's bed. Kathryn left Chakotay to be with his sister, planning to go downstairs and visit with everyone else. She stopped outside the bedroom to take a moment to herself. The soft sounds of Chakotay's and B'Elanna's voices drifted to her. One more prayer couldn't hurt, she reasoned. Please, God, let him be there for her. Don't take him away.

They had forgotten to put the flowers in water earlier, so they took some time to salvage those that were still alive, found containers and vases and spread them around their house. They poked through the baked goods and found some brownies to eat. Watching the news feed they saw Lisa's report, pleased that it was so cut and dried. No flash. Other than the little bit about the Doctor. They'd forgotten to tell him, but they had told Owen. Perhaps the Doctor had seen it anyway. And there were no inuendos given about B'Elanna's testimony.  It was almost as though her daughter had taken care of the situation all by her little self.  And interesting twist of fate, Chakotay said.  Kathryn responded with a smile, beginning to give in to his point of view, if only slightly.  The exhaustion had hit them as soon as they curled up on the couch together so they soon dragged themselves through their nightly routine, finally fell on the mattress, spooned tightly and went almost instantly to sleep.

There was so much noise on the ship it was difficult to hear herself talk. She hit her comm badge, walking through deck six, trying to hail the bridge. She got no answer. The ship rocked hard to the right and she was thrown against the wall of the corridor. Coming around a curve she saw crew members laying on the floor. She ran to them and felt for a pulse. They were dead, all twelve of them.

"We are Borg." Her head shot up quickly. "Resistance is futile." Four drones were approaching. She ran in the other direction, getting on the turbolift just in time. Weapons, she needed weapons. She instructed the computer to take the lift to the bridge. "Unable to comply."

"Deck five." The lift moved and she got off, moving rapidly down the corridor heading for the weapons locker across from sick bay. Grabbing a phaser rifle, she turned around. The floor of the corridor held the bodies of more crew members. She turned around again and went into sick bay, but couldn't get the Doctor on line. The rifle slung over her shoulder she took a medical tricorder and began to run down the corridor, scanning the people on the floor. All dead.

"Captain..." Again she looked up. Naomi was running toward her, carrying a doll in her arms. "Captain! They're right behind me!"

"Come on Naomi!" Kathryn waited for her. Around the curve came Hirogen, weapons raised. She lifted her rifle and hit the switch. Nothing happened. Naomi reached her and handed her the doll. It was Miral, bundled up in a blanket with tribal symbols woven in.

"She is a poor excuse for prey..." one Hirogen said to the other.

Naomi screamed loudly and ran away from Kathryn. "Naomi, come back!" She ignored her Captain and kept running. The Hirogen pushed past her and aimed at the young girl's retreating back. They fired. Naomi went flying, hitting the wall with a crunch, sliding down into a heap on the floor. Kathryn screamed, too. Miral woke up and began to cry. Kathryn looked at her. A Borg implant appeared on her tiny cheek.

"NO!" she screamed again. She ran in a direction opposite from the Hirogen but looking over her shoulder they were gone. There were bodies everywhere, all different colors of uniforms. She closed her eyes to them all.

When she opened them again she was on the bridge. She put Miral down on her command chair, watching in horror as the baby turned into Borg, bit by bit. Spinning around, she saw all her bridge crew, dead. Tom was slumped over the conn. Harry was on the floor. B'Elanna at engineering, in her seat, her head hanging back at an odd angle. Samantha was splayed over her console. Tuvok was sitting on the deck, his eyes open. She raced to him, calling his name over and over. He was in a pool of his own Vulcan blood. Chakotay... Chakotay... she had to find him. She ran into the ready room.

He was standing with his back to her, staring out the viewports. He was wearing his Maquis clothing. The vest was the wrong color.

"Chakotay!" she called out running to him. He spun around quickly. She stopped. His eyes were blank, deep pits of blackness with no feeling in them. His face was hard. He was possessed by the crazy Bajoran. "NO!" she screamed. He laughed.

"Kathryn, however did you get out of the brig, you sly one." His voice was cold. He tapped his chest. "Now," was all he said.

"Chakotay...my love... wake up, please..."

The door opened behind her. In walked Lon Suder, his black eyes boring a hole in hers. He brushed past her and approached his commander. Chakotay handed him a phaser. Suder took it, turned and pointed it at her.

"NO, Chakotay, no, I know you don't mean this PLEASE!"

"Suder, kill her." The phaser was raised, the black eyes of both men staring into her soul. She screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed....

She woke up with a start again, shaking, but this time she wasn't cold. The mass next to her was moving. She took one look at him and had the urge to flee. This time she remembered the dream, the images played over and over in her mind, the raw emotions sat on the surface of her skin. She looked at him again. She got up quickly, pulled on her robe and grabbed the throw off the couch. One of his native throws. It went around her shoulders as she stumbled into the kitchen, her eyes filling too rapidly. Wiping them brusquely she managed to find a glass and pour herself some juice, then took it to the small table in the corner and sat, looking out onto the deck, bathed in the silver moonlight.

The tears came quickly. She tried to cry without making too much sound and believed herself to be successful. The tabletop was also silver with moonlight and as her tears fell she studied the hands spread out before her, almost glowing from within. Her eyes traveled and came to rest on her bracelet. The sharp stab that pierced her chest at that moment was almost unbearable. She brought her left wrist up to her mouth and touched the silver with her lips and left it there, feeling the pain recede somewhat. She felt so confused. She thought she'd dealt with her emotions around 'the ready room incident', as she was wont to call it, many times over. She and Chakotay had dealt with it. They and Tuvok had dealt with it. She took a very shaky breath and wiped her face on her sleeve.

"Kathryn..."

She gasped to herself and closed her eyes. Please leave me alone. But she knew he wouldn't, and sure enough she heard the chair next to hers being pulled out and the weight of his arm sliding across her shoulders. Her throat closed again, more tears began to fall.

"Please, love, tell me, another bad dream?"

She only heard love and concern in his voice. Her heart broke anew. How could she tell him what she was feeling? She sensed him getting closer and tensed. As he rested his head against hers she flinched, involuntarily. He pulled back sharply and she began to cry in earnest.

"Kathryn, look at me. Open your eyes. Look at me," he pleaded, but there was a sharp edge to his voice.

Oh God, please just go back to bed. "Just...go back to bed..."

"No." She felt him take her face in his hands and gently turn her head. "Open your eyes."

Her crying stopped. She opened them and reluctantly locked her eyes with his. "Kathryn, your dream was about that damned Bajoran's mind games, wasn't it, about what I did to you, wasn't it?" She nodded, against her will. "What do you see when you look at me, here, right now, in my eyes, right now, what do you see? Tell me."

She allowed herself to see what was in front of her, in the low light she stared deeply into his eyes and saw only him, the man she loved, the man who loved her. The one person who knew her. "You," was the only thing she could get out of her throat.

"The me who loves you, right? The me who would die for you, who would give you anything he could, who wants to love you for the rest of his life. Who has willingly handed his heart to you."

The tears began to fall once more. She nodded. "Hold me?"

He opened his arms, letting her come to him. She did, and ended up clutching him fiercely as he held her as tightly as he could given the awkwardness of their position.

"Come on, Kath, come back to bed..." He pulled her upright but she found she didn't want to let go of him. Gently he pulled her arms from around his neck and moved them to his waist, guiding them both back to the mattress. "Let's make a small fire, why don't we, you get the firestarter..."

They sat at the hearth and put the fire together. She was grateful for something physical to do and never was more than six inches from him.  Even as he reached for the smallest logs he could find she had a hand on him somewhere. His skin was real, warm to the touch. She needed it, for the cold in her heart had not completely left. Once the fire caught, he asked her if she wanted to take off her robe. That simple question moved her more than anything else he had done to reassure her. Her reply was to lock eyes with him, undo the sash and take the robe off, toss it on the couch, lay down and open her arms. Their eyes never waivered as he lay down next to her and they pulled themselves close.

"Do you want to tell me about the dream?"

She found she did. She told him everything she could remember. He said nothing during the telling, but just continued to hold her and stroke her back. She faltered a bit during the ready room part but even then he let her talk at her own pace. She told him she was confused, that she thought this had been discussed and dealt with.

"What do you mean 'dealt with'," he asked.

"You know, we talked about it, you apologized, I forgave you, we talked about how to make both of us comfortable working together again, how to re-establish the trust we had..."

"But you know that was before we finally became more intimately involved with each other."

"What difference does that make? I allowed you in to my life, you allowed me in, what we went through during your mutiny didn't seem to matter at that point."

"Maybe there are parts that we haven't yet really dealt with. Taking the dream as a whole, given everything that's happened over the past week, it looks like you're feeling out of control. Too many variables out of your control..."

She was quiet, thinking about it all. "I don't know how else we can deal with what happened, other than try and let it go. I  have to let it go. It wasn't you. I know that. Sometimes I think that if it only hadn't happened in the ready room, it would be easier for me..."

"We had alot of things happen in that room, both bad and good." He was feeling worried for her, afraid there was a whole lot more going on here than they were discussing. He prayed he'd be around to keep an eye on her, deathly afraid of what would happen if he was sent to a penal colony. He was certain he would probably go crazy from worry.

"But we never had as much fun in there as we could have..." She didn't want to think about the bad any longer, at least not right then. She couldn't. Her brain and heart were rebelling.

He chuckled. "Well, if you're talking about what I think you are, I seem to recall a certain Captain who said, in no uncertain terms, that there would be no fooling around in the ready room. She nearly broke my heart..." He'd let her change the subject. This time. They needed it.

She moved, rolling him on his back, climbing on top of him to lay spread eagled, her legs rubbing the outside of his. He wrapped his arms around her and sighed deeply. "I can't believe you can breathe with me on top of you like this..." she said.

"Mm-m, I love it when we lay like this. Besides you weigh next to nothing."

She kissed what she could reach, the top of his chest, the little valley there that she loved so. "I did think the ready room wasn't the place to seriously fool around. Though I seem to remember some pretty good making out sessions in there..." She laughed at the memory.

"Tuvok only caught us once. That was pretty good, actually, considering. And considering the fantasies I used to have about those couches, I was always proud of myself for my restraint."

She heard the tease in his voice and slapped him lightly on the arm. "Restraint, huh? What about that time you got both my jacket off, and my turtleneck and was heading for my pants? If we hadn't been hailed..."

"Correction, if you hadn't been hailed. I stayed behind, nursing my acute frustration while you went to the bridge. Anyway, that was restraint. Considering."

"Yes, those past fantasies you keep alluding to. How far in the past? And what were they? I want to know...."

"We've never talked about our fantasies on the ship, have we?"

"You think I had some?"

He laughed out loud, bobbing her up and down on his chest. "Kathryn! Come on, who're you trying to kid? You're gonna try and tell me you never fantasized about the two of us making love in various places around the ship, even way before we got together?"

She thought briefly about putting on an air of shocked insult, but laughed instead. "Okay, I confess. Yes, I used to fantasize. But I believe we were talking about your fantasies, sir. Come on, tell me."

"Only if you promise to tell me yours, too. Agreed?"

"Agreed. Now spill 'em!"

"We really should be trying to get some more sleep. There's still a couple of hours before we have to get up..."

"Chakotay."

"Okay, okay. So, let's see, ready room. Well, it really was the best place to fantasize about, don't you think? I mean, there was the jeffries tube fantasy, the shuttle craft fantasy, but that one was sort of ruined after you died on me, the turbolift fantasy, the mess hall fantasy, the airponics bay fantasy..."

She interrupted him. "I agree, the ready room was the best. Tell me."

He laughed at her irritation, but relented. "I had a few about that place, one about us at the wall right next to the doors, various ones about your desk, the floor in front of the couches, and the couches themselves, of course. But one of my favorites was your chair... I'd come in to discuss some ship's business, sitting across from you as usual and we'd be talking but I'd see that you were sort of distracted, your eyes would wander down to my mouth as we'd talk..."

"I didn't think you noticed that," she teased.

"Yes, well, you weren't that discreet. So I'd see that you were thinking about kissing me, about me kissing you, that you'd be sort of squirming in your chair. I'd start to think about making love with you, sending you pictures that were forming in my mind, of things I wanted to do to you. You'd squirm some more. I'd lick my lips. You'd lick yours. You'd order the computer to engage a privacy lock, looking at me the entire time." He found himself getting turned on telling her this. From her breathing and her slight movements against him, he knew she was, too. He began to move his hands around her with more abandon. "You'd never say a word to me but I'd get up anyway and come around to your side of the desk, getting down on my knees, leaning in to your chair and we'd kiss, one of those electric, first kisses that we'd only dreamed about..." He was giving a description of their actual first kiss.

Kathryn raised herself and fell on his mouth, their hearts leapt at the contact of their tongues. She stopped, put her head back down and asked him to continue.  The sound of his voice in this context was almost more than she could take.  She wanted more.

He cleared his throat, his hands continued to roam. "As I was kissing you, I'd reach down and begin to unfasten your boots, then pull them off. Next would come your jacket, then you'd take off mine, then we'd take off our turtlenecks and those damned insignias, then our undertunics. I'd pull off your pants next and move you closer to the edge of the chair and begin to move my mouth around your stomach, moving downward, kissing and licking you, tasting your skin, over my head with desire for you, and you'd start moaning," he moved his hands between her legs, stroking her gently, "then I'd put my mouth between your legs, on top of your panties and lick you through the silk. You'd begin to move against me, then you'd reach down and pull them off yourself, I'd finish getting them off, and put my mouth back on you for real this time."

She was moaning and writhing against him as he continued to stroke her, reaching in as she arched backwards, granting him access, getting his fingers on her and moving them in a circular motion, feeling her wetness, getting harder under her body. "Then what..." she panted out breathlessly.

"Then I'd move my tongue around you," he continued to caress her, "bringing you closer and closer to an orgasm..." he increased his motions and the pressure, as he knew she liked and felt her getting close to her release, "then you'd finally come," he swirled his fingertip rapidly and she came against him with a moan and a sigh. He slowed his motions, rocking her gently as she began to lick his chest and move her hand around his body, reaching in between them.

"Then what..." she asked him again, sultry now, wanting even more.

He was trying to concentrate, but she got her hand around him, stroking him now. He focused. "Then I'd take off the rest of my clothes, and your bra, and I'd pull you out of the chair and we'd change places, I'd sit down in the chair and you'd climb up on top of me, straddling me, pushing yourself down onto me," she raised her hips and put him at her opening, he slid into her easily, both of them moaning deeply now. "We'd make love...." words failed him as he moved in and out of her, close himself. She kissed him again and as their tongues swirled, she came with a small cry into his mouth. He followed rapidly, pushing against her cervix, spilling himself deeply with a groan. They held each other tightly in the afterglow, still joined, she still laying on his chest. After their breathing returned to normal, he slipped out of her.

"Then what," she asked with a smile in her voice.

"Then... then we'd hold each other, not wanting to separate, knowing that we were meant to be together for the rest of our lives. I'd tell you that I was more in love with you than I ever thought possible. You'd tell me that you would always love me and never leave me. And I'd know it was true."

Kathryn's throat tightened. Her eyes filled, eventually spilling her tears out on his chest. "You know that's true now, don't you? I love you."

His hold grew stronger. "Yes, I know that's true. And I am more in love with you than I ever thought possible. I know you'll never leave me."

"I'd rather die."

"Now, no need for dying. Just stay."

She kissed his chest and calmed her tears. She closed her eyes and snuggled a bit, squeezing her legs against his hips. He responded by squeezing her tighter to his chest. They stayed that way for quite awhile, not wanting to move.

Chakotay woke up a couple of hours later to the sound of a news feed coming over the computer, what they used as an alarm in the lounge area, a heavy weight on his chest. A delicious and deeply asleep weight. He embraced her gently as he tried to come to full consciousness.

"....this reporter....unable to confirm...confidential source close to the tribunal. Lieutenant Commander Mueller has been unavailable for comment this morning and Commander Chakotay is still in seclusion...."

He was fully awake. He looked at the console, but now there was a weather report. He found the remote and stopped the feed. It was close to 0600 and he was not entirely sure what he had heard, confused about what could be reported about the trial this early in the morning. His heart was pounding. He tried to wake Kathryn, but could tell by the level of her breathing this was going to be a hopeless effort. He gently rolled her off and got up quickly, deciding to call Mueller no matter how early it was. He grabbed his robe and went looking for the minipadd.

"Damn.." he muttered. He was frantically looking around the things on the dining table, he thought that's where he left it last night.

"What's going on..." Kathryn said sleepily, sitting up on the mattress.

"I don't know, something was reported on the news broadcast about the trial, I missed it. I've got to call Mueller but I can't find the minipadd. Shit! " More things fell on the floor.

"Wait, honey, just a minute..." She put on her robe. "I think I know where it is." She trotted to the kitchen and found it on the counter next to their cold storage. "Got it!" She met him, he took her hand and they went quickly to the vidphone. She ran a hand through her hair a few times, trying to calm it down, rubbed her eyes and yawned, all while he was putting the call through. He sat back and they reached for each other again. Her heart was racing. She felt the normally warm hand of her fiancé had cold fingers. He looked calm. He was extremely nervous.

Mueller's implacable face appeared, smiling broadly. "Good morning you two. I was just about to call you, and from the looks of it, you just heard the broadcast?"

"I didn't hear enough of it, I'm afraid, what's going on?"

"I'll tell you but first I want you to listen carefully. Do not take what I'm about to say as anything close to the truth. It's just a news report. It's not fact. Okay?"

They both nodded and glanced at each other. Their rapid heartbeats just increased in speed.

"Our friend, Lisa Landry is reporting that she has a confidential source close to the tribunal. This source claims that the judge will grant you a pardon this morning. Now again, I have to caution you..."

Kathryn's heart had stopped. She looked at Chakotay. He was pale, for him, various emotions were passing across his face, hope, disbelief, pain. His hand had turned icy.

"....are you still here?" Mueller's voice cut through the haze. "These reports are notoriously inaccurate. I can't imagine anyone from the tribunal talking with a reporter, but you never know. Stranger things have happened. We have to assume the prosecution is going to continue this morning. Can you meet me at 0815 this morning?"

Chakotay turned and looked at Kathryn. She didn't appear to have heard anything. She was staring down the hall towards the lounge area. He looked back at the screen. "Yes, Commander, we'll be there."

"Captain? Are you all right?"

To Chakotay, Mueller looked more than a little concerned. Kathryn turned toward them both, he squeezed her hand but she didn't respond to the touch. She did answer a mild affirmative, however.

"Okay, then. I know this is extremely stressful for you. I know that you want to believe this will happen this morning, that everything will be over. I have to caution you again, do not believe it. The prosecution will begin again at 0900. They'll be calling more witnesses. I need you to be focused on that, and not disappointed that we're still in the middle of it. I know you're both strong, you've been through alot, you can do this. Do it for yourselves."

Chakotay did understand, but his emotions were still all over the place. "We'll do the best we can, Commander. I promise." The light at the end of the tunnel was teasing him. He glanced at Kathryn. She was staring again. "I just hope the crowd isn't too bad."

"I'll meet you at the transporter pad." Mueller looked back and forth between them. "Take care of yourselves, have a good breakfast. See you soon."

"Thank you. Good bye." Chakotay ended the transmission. "Kathryn?"

She turned slowly to him.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I've got to take my shower, wash my hair, I'll see you when I get out." She got up. He knew she wasn't okay, but she was already heading to the bathroom by the time any words formed in his mind.

"I'll start some breakfast," he called after her.

After cleaning her teeth, she sat down on the toilet. That was when she finally felt something. Her composure completely crumbling. She fell forward and put her face in her hands. She thought she would die from the stress of it all, and couldn't understand why this was being so hard. Everything she'd faced, everything she'd done and survived, nothing felt as difficult as this. Why couldn't they just live the way they wanted? She felt victimized, hope being dangled in front of her face, then ripped harshly away again. Over and over and over. She wanted to scream.

What she didn't want was to burden Chakotay with her turmoil, not after that morning, not after having that dream and those unbidden feelings. He'd been wonderful, but it had to have hurt him. And he was the one facing prison, even a penal colony would have guards pushing him around, shoving their power in his face constantly. His treatment would be harsh, she had no doubt. There would be no love lost for any ex-Starfleet Maquis renegade. They would want to break him.

She got herself into the bathtub, and turned on the shower, desperate to be behind the curtain and under the water. When she finally got there, her last tiny bit of control simply disappeared. She sat down clumsily and drew her knees up, placing her head down on them and giving in, sobbing uncontrollably. She held her knees to her chest as tightly as she could, rocking herself, crying her heart out. She was dimly aware of the water pressure dipping for a moment, then heard Chakotay in the room with her, rinsing his mouth. Trying to calm down, her noises became small hiccups.

Then she heard him using the toilet and she completely fell apart again. That moment was so totally normal, just the sounds of two people going about their morning routines together, two people who lived together, who loved each other, making a life together, she couldn't take it. She knew she couldn't hold on to it all, the normalcy, the comfort. It could all be gone from her life by next week. She'd be alone every night and every morning. She sobbed into her kneecaps.

"Kathryn..." Chakotay pulled back the curtain sharply and climbed into the tub, taking her by the shoulders and pulling her up into his embrace. He spoke words of comfort in her ear and held her tightly as she continued to cry, until she was finally able to hold him just as tightly.

"You don't have to do this for me right now..." she managed to say into his chest, feeling horribly guilty.

"Yes, I do. I absolutely do. I'm fine, honestly." He tipped her head back and up so she could see his face. "See? I really am fine, can't you tell?"

He did look fairly clear at that moment. She put her face against his chest again. God, please don't take this away from me.

"Kathryn, for some reason, I feel relaxed and very positive. I know what Mueller said and I understand the logic of that approach, but I don't know how to explain it. I feel in my heart everything is going to be okay. Let me give you a little of that peace, okay?"

She nodded slightly, grateful for anything he could give her.

"Good. Now, have you washed your hair?" She shook her head. "Washed anything?" Again, she shook her head. So he proceeded to put her under the water and gently, lovingly, wash her hair, massaging her scalp as he rinsed, watching her face relax as he did it. He handed her the soap, she washed her front, he washed her back and while she rinsed, she washed his back for him as well. He opened the curtain. "You go and dry yourself while I finish and we'll have some breakfast." He took her hand and helped her step out of the tub. She still seemed shaky to him.

"I'm fine, Chakotay, I'm fine."

"I know you are, Kathryn." He closed the curtain.

She opened it again. "Thank you. I love you," she said with a small smile.

"You're welcome. I love you, too. Be out in a flash," he answered with a bigger smile. She closed the curtain.

As she dried herself and combed out her hair, she listened to the man she loved softly humming to himself. She was unfamiliar with the tune. It had a lilting melody, gently moving up and down a short scale and she thought perhaps it was a tribal chant of some sort. She allowed the sound of his lovely voice to wrap itself around her, soothing her, blessing her. She held the moment close to her heart as she said the phrase which was fast becoming her own mantra. Please God, don't take Chakotay away from me. Let me have many many more mornings just like this. She sent up the prayer without pain, or fear, but love.

By the time they were walking to the transporter hub, they had mostly succeeded in doing what Mueller had asked of them. They talked themselves to some point in the middle, between despair and euphoria. They believed they each were ready for whatever the day would bring. Meeting him at HQ, stepping off the pad, they saw the concern on his face. Kathryn was still feeling raw under her mask of control and steeled herself for the inevitable questions.

"It's a madhouse up there," Lieutenant Commander Mueller said, "worse than yesterday, or at least it seems so. You both look better than you did a while ago. How are you?"

Chakotay still felt inordinately protective of Kathryn and jumped in to answer. "We're doing well, actually. Believe we're ready." She squeezed his hand and smiled gratefully at him.

"Good. Let's go."

Mueller wasn't exaggerating. The noise was the most noticable difference. The decibel level had apparently increased exponentially. As they did the day before, they pushed their way to the courtroom doors, Mueller calling out 'no comment' every few meters. Finally, the doors swooshed shut behind them and they proceeded to the meeting room.

The attorney and his client discussed what to expect from the prosecution that morning. He had received a list of witnesses the night before, Harry Kim was going to be called first, followed by a re-examination of Tuvok, then Roger Thornton, Michael Jonas' roommate. After that they were likely going to rest, but they could ask for permission to continue the prosecution after B'Elanna was cleared to return to the witness box by her doctor. They had to be prepared to start the defense case in the afternoon. Chakotay would take the stand in his own defense. He assured his attorney he was ready, more than ready to answer the charges that had been leveled against his character over the prior two days.

The conversation slowed. Kathryn couldn't help it, she had to ask. "Anything new on the report of the pardon?"

Mueller hesitated. "I don't want to get your hopes up.."

She interrupted him. "I understand," she said with a touch of impatience.

"I know you do. Well, I was told the tribunal met with the judge for more than a few hours last night. That may be where the rumour started, I don't know. My sources apparently aren't as highly placed as Ms. Landry's," he said with a smile.

Kathryn met Chakotay's eyes. Their gazes locked.

Coming into an already crowded courtroom they were relieved to be surrounded by their family. Chakotay received hugs of support from all four of them, surprised to see Bill there, too. He thought the man had an important meeting at the university that morning. Apparently Bill had re-scheduled. Chakotay was grateful. Kathryn stood between her mother and her sister, unable to say much, watching his every move. She took some deep breaths and willed herself for some strength. She almost wished for a few Hirogen to come bursting through the doors. That she'd know how to deal with. Then again, her dream...

"Captain, I'm sorry, but you'll need to take a seat now," Mueller said gently to her.

Gretchen reached for one last hug of her son-in-law. "We love you, Chakotay, remember that."

"Thank you. Take care of Kathryn for me?" he whispered.

She pulled away and placed her hand on his chest, just like a certain Captain used to do to him. "You can count on that, and we'll keep it between the two of us?"

He chuckled. "Absolutely."

Gretchen smiled and took her seat, leaving Kathryn still standing. For not the first time with this man, she was unsure of what to do. Though her mother and everyone else could hug him freely in court, for some reason, they could not, images would be taken, sent out over the broadcasts.

"Captain, it's 0852," Mueller said quietly, breaking once more into her dream. She nodded to him.

Chakotay reached for her hands and clasped them. They locked eyes for another too brief minute. She let him see the core of her strength and he released her hands. She backed away and finally turned to sit. He did the same, taking a deep breath, placing his palms flat on the table in front of him, while Mueller put his hand on his forearm, leaving it there. He was grateful for the contact.

Kathryn was saying nothing, holding tightly to her mother's and Erin's hands when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and met Tom's eyes.

"Kathryn," he whispered, "I have something for you." He handed her a piece of paper, folded. He smiled and continued onward to Chakotay. She watched him do the same thing, clapping Chakotay on the shoulder as they smiled at each other. She opened her paper and felt a rush of emotion threaten her carefully constructed composure.

"Oh, Kathy, look at that..." her mother crooned in her ear. Erin, also looking down was saying similar things. Soon Phoebe leaned over, as did Bill. It was an image of them from the previous night, holding the baby, smiling deeply at each other.

"You know how many bartering credits you could get for that?" Phoebe hissed.

"Phoebe, don't you dare ..." Erin hissed back, grinning.

Kathryn felt a smile beginning. It was a lovely image. Really. She looked over her cousins' heads for Tom. Their eyes met again. She mouthed 'thank you'. He smiled proudly. Then her heart flip flopped. She thought she saw Harry's blue-black hair, on the other side of Owen. She didn't want to be sure, so she just turned away and stared at Chakotay's back while a baby conversation took place around her.

It was 0901. Her heart was pounding. The door next to the judge's bench opened and the tribunal entered, solemn looks on their faces. Admirals Nechayev and Finnegan would not meet her eyes. Her heart sank for no reason. She knew they'd not show any emotion no matter what was going to happen. Williams walked in with his assistant and opened his case, taking out his console and a small stack of PADDs.

0905. No judge. The tension in the courtroom was rising. "Please, God..." she whispered. Her mother released the hand she was holding and rubbed her back.

"From your lips to his ears, Kathy. I've been praying for a week now, you'd think he'd hear me."

"Thanks, Mom."

Erin held on tighter.

0910. Still nothing. Conversations were beginning to rumble through the room. Kathryn tried to breathe but found only a shallow one was possible. "What the hell is taking them so long..." she muttered to herself.

Erin leaned in. "This sucks, Kath," she whispered directly in her ear. Kathryn turned her head. Erin's eyes were sparkling. They laughed softly, breaking some of the tension.

Facing forward she looked at the man she loved. His hands were clenched together on the table. Mueller put his arm around his shoulders and said something in his ear. Chakotay nodded.

0913. "All rise!" boomed out from the security officer at the front of the room. Everyone stood as the judge came into the room. He also had some PADDs in his hand which he dropped on his desk as he sat.

Kathryn's legs suddenly felt numb as she fell back into her seat. Looking at the jurist, her heart slammed into her ribs as he made eye contact with her. Briefly, but contact. It then appeared to her that he made eye contact with Chakotay as well. His face was unreadable. Her hands were picked up again though she barely noticed. Breathing had become almost impossible. She stared at Chakotay's back.

"Commander Williams," the judge said loudly, it seemed, "do you have anything you would like to share with the tribunal this morning?"

Williams hesitated, then through almost clenched teeth he replied. "No, your honor."

"Very well." The judge looked out over the courtroom, once again leaving his glance resting on the man sitting on the defense table. "Commander Chakotay. I will not prolong this any further. It is the decision of myself as presiding judge in this matter that the prosecution of this case is hereby terminated. The tribunal authorities have agreed with me. I took on the task of familiarizing myself with the log entries pertaining to the events surrounding the U.S.S. Voyager's and the Liberty's leap into the Delta Quadrant. In addition, I've looked at those events that were made to appear heinous on your part regarding the integration of your former Maquis crew with the remaining Starfleet crew. I've also taken the opportunity to familiarize myself with the numerous instances when you acted in complete disregard of your own safety, to insure the safety of the crew that you swore to protect and serve. Therefore, it is with great honor that I grant you a full and unconditional pardon by the authority given to me, with the complete agreement of the United Federation of Planet's Starfleet tribunal."

Chakotay's heart had stopped beating sometime in the prior minute. His head collapsed in his hands, his ears were filled with a rushing sound and his eyes with tears. He felt Mueller slap him on the back. We're free, Kathryn.... was all he could think.

Kathryn collapsed further than her hands. Her head was almost to her knees,  spinning, her heart pounding wildly. Chakotay, we're free... was all she could think. She was dimly aware that her mother and her cousin were draping on her shoulders, maybe to protect her. She suddenly heard the judge's voice and pulled herself upright, with tears freely falling she tried to breathe.

"....and Commander, I apologize for the ordeal you and your family have gone through. Your character has been, in my opinion, unfairly attacked. I trust you will take the opportunity to put forth the truth, in whatever forum you choose. I also trust that you will consider seriously your future in Starfleet, irrelevant of what has transpired here. I understand there are quite a number of school children across the globe who wish to have you and Captain Janeway share stories of your journey. This would only be an asset  to the advancement of scientific exploration in future generations. Good luck, sir."

Once again, the only thing a stunned Chakotay could think to say was, "Thank you, your honor. For everything."

For the first time, the judge smiled deeply. He nodded and stood up. He tapped the pad on his desk. "This court is adjourned," he intoned loudly.

Bedlam erupted for the second time in two days.
 

End Part 13