Disclaimer: NBC and Wolf Films own them.
Ed: Hmm. You want the short version or the long? See, I've known I was gay since I was twelve, and my parents have known since I was about twenty or twenty-one, somewhere in there. They weren't thrilled. African-American men aren't gay, you know. You didn't know? It's true--that's what they told me, and they weren't far off. So, except for my own private life, I stayed pretty much in the closet. Around my dad's professional colleagues, around almost all of my parents' friends, even around some of our extended family. Taking the chance to be a cop--I wasn't going to pass that up; and for the first time, I could see my parents' point about a closeted life. We still fought about it all; they still didn't want me to join the force, but they were absolutely set against me being an "out" cop, above everything else. They were right. I would've been stuck on a beat if I hadn't been in the closet. And when I got out of uniform, there was no way I was gonna tell anyone on the gang squad. I mean, I might as well have put a target on my back. Bigger than the one I already had.
It's not like I'm proud of the fact that I've kept this big secret. But I wanted to get somewhere, and I wanted to live long enough to collect my pension. That uni who got shot? Lennie's old case? That wasn't some outrageous, unheard of act. Uh uh. I could tell you stories.... And everybody behind the pink wall knows 'em, and everyone else does, too; they just pretend they don't.
So, back to your question. Now? Hmm. It still doesn't feel safe. If anything, it feels even less safe. I trust Lieu, and I sure as hell trust Lennie, and as for the people Jack works with, well, you know the only one I have trouble with. But all in all, I don't think things are that much different. I've got people who really know me, now, and that feels real good. But the rest of the brethren? No. Things haven't changed.
2. Ed: In PSE, what do you think of Lennie's reaction to discovering you're gay? Or his reaction to the situation between you and Jack?
Ed: That Lennie--man, I just love the hell out of him. But don't tell him that! He'd probably freak out, and start with the staring, and the eyebrow thing. I still can't believe he gave me advice on how to get with Jack. ::sighs:: I'm just kind of blown away by Lennie. Could I have a better partner? ::grins::
3. Ed: In PSE, how long had you been going out with Barry? And when did it start to go bad? Was it all about Jack, or were there other problems?
Ed: Okay, are we gonna do the long or short version, this time? Cause I don't think you've got a couple of hours to hear the ins and outs of me and Barry. ::clears throat:: We've been seeing each other for about six months, maybe seven. Six? Yeah, six. He's a personal trainer... but he's not stupid. He's gone back to school, studying chemistry. Maybe that was the problem all along, him being too much like my father--I haven't got a handle on that, yet. Barry's a nice guy, don't get me wrong; he's a real sweetheart. And he loves me, there's not much doubt about that. I think maybe I just didn't love him as much as he loved me. And, you know, he's busy all the time, with classes at night, and studying, and my schedule is well, I guess you'd say "open." It's tough to have a relationship when you hardly ever spend any time together. ::sighs:: I don't have an exact time frame of when things started to go bad, but I think that everything was made worse by Jack's apparent interest in me. I was ready for something to change. Barry wasn't. He still isn't.
4. Jack: In Choices Made, what first made you decide to go into a gay bar? And had you ever thought about men in a sexual way before?
Jack: I'm not entirely sure why this is relevant to anyone but me, but I've been informed that I am to answer your questions. Since I'm not willing to suffer the consequences of not answering....
Two years ago, I decided to find a nice bar where it would be easier to meet men. What I'd been doing up until then hadn't been working very well. Personal ads. Too easy to lie in them, and sometimes, too many games needed to be played before the sex. I'd tried the internet chat rooms, but it took longer to make a connection than I wanted. I'd gone to gay bars when I'd first come to New York. So I looked around. Eventually found the Tide. I was comfortable there. Bars, I understand.
I discovered that I was bisexual in college. Discovered a lot of things in college. My roommate, Mark, and I got more pissed than usual one night and ended up sleeping together. After that, we checked out a couple of places on the north side of Chicago that Mark had heard of. Then began to run into other guys from UofC up there. A few of them took us to a place near campus. Back then it wasn't as easy to find gay hang-outs. ::sighs:: End of story.
5. Jack: It's obvious that Serena can't be first chair on the Woodbridge case. But how can you reconcile your personal involvement in it with being able to function effectively as a prosecutor?
Jack: ::glares:: I really don't see that this is going to be a problem. Every case I prosecute is given 150% of my attention, and I take each one of them personally. It's my job to fight for the victim. I fight to win. Woodbridge, the son-of-a-bitch, will get 200% of my effort, but there's nothing to reconcile. He's heading for a needle in the arm. ::glare intensifies::
Rating: PG. A few bad words.
Summary: McCoy/Green. Cirocco has been playing with a writing exercise, where 5 questions are asked of her characters (in any fic of the questioner's choice). She passed the exercise along to me.
Author's Note: Ed and Jack didn't make things easy for me, so I reminded them of their their trip to the Delta Quadrant. Ah, the power of the writer ;-). They got the message.
Copyright August, 2003, Cassatt
1. Ed: In Choices Made, you're pretty adamant about staying in the closet. Have you ever thought about coming out? Why or why not? And does it make any difference now that you're out to quite a few people you work with?