Disclaimer: Wolf Films owns them.
I've barely finished my first sip of coffee, needing the caffeine
to wake me but not the buzz. I'm buzzed enough. The man is sitting across
the table, looking damned serious, and all I can think is that he looks so
damnably hot, and now I know just exactly how hot he is, and why don't we
go back to tangle the sheets again, and... he wants me to talk.
"Okay," I say. I can do this. I should do this. We should do this.
"Okay," I continue, "we do. Need to." My brain spasms, so I drink more
caffeine. I realize, with a start, that serious can mean bad.
Jack smiles one of his small ones, and see, now I know a few of them.
There's a small one that he gives me, sometimes, after we've kissed a certain
way. There's a big one after I've....
"We haven't," he says, then hesitates, "clarified what this is."
He waves a finger back and forth between us. "We haven't even gone on a
date. I'd like to know what you think. What you're expecting...." He peters
out and goes to his mug, too.
Wow. Jack McCoy is unsure. Wow. This rocks me, and I suspect it
isn't bad. Unsure plus serious equals something that matters.
"I think," I say, "that I've got no expectations. Not exactly.
I mean, I'd really like to go on a date, or more than one, hopefully. I'd
like to see where this leads. I'd like it to lead somewhere." I can't believe
that was so easy to say, and I have another sudden realization as the drug
wires my bloodstream. This is easy, being here with him. I like being
here. I loved last night. I'm very much liking this morning. Now I'm rocked
again. I can see this -- the two of us. I want it, more than I'd let myself
believe I did. And have I mentioned the chemistry factor?
"So," Jack says, looking serious again, "you're not involved with anyone else?"
Whoa, boy. Can I go back to bed, now? Do I go for absolute honesty;
do I know what the hell that is? "Not exactly," I say, thinking that's pretty
honest.
His face becomes completely impassive. Fuck. "Not exactly means that you're involved in an open sort of relationship?"
Have I mentioned that I'm an idiot? "No, no," I say, leaning forward
because he's just leaned back; I want to grab him, keep him in place. "It's
not an open relationship, it's no longer any relationship, not really. We've
broken up. I told him...." I stop. Is it safe?
Jack's leaning toward me again. Impassive has become intense. "What did you tell him?"
"Am I being cross-examined?" I ask lightly, hoping to delay.
Jack's looking right through me. It's not a bad feeling, either. "What did you tell him, Ed?"
"I told him... about you, Jack."
Jack sits back, again. Intense has become stunned.
On to part 19,Lennie's pov, by Cirocco
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Green
Copyright August, 2003, Cassatt
"Ed? We need to talk," Jack says to me.