Chakotay closed the door behind him, trying to catch his breath, trying to keep his arm against him, feeling the blood still oozing from the wound. He'd managed to make it to Kathryn's old and empty apartment, knowing he needed to rest, and drink water, and try to staunch the bleeding. His thinking was getting fuzzy, but he attributed that to his lack of stamina. Keeping himself in good shape was one thing. Running through strange streets, bleeding, was another. He considered more than once beaming himself up to the ship, but didn't feel he could risk another departure and return. He thought he'd be fine by morning, after sleep and maybe some food. Kathryn, he hoped, might have left something to eat in her apartment.
In the semi-darkness, he could see the outline of a couch and he stumbled to it, collapsing gratefully into it's softness.
"Who are you?" came from an open doorway.
Chakotay's heart took off as he turned his head. "Sweet spirits - Martis!"
She gasped, and approached less cautiously. He kept quiet, though it wasn't easy, as all he wanted was to take her in his arms and hold her to his chest as tightly as he could. In the low light, he could see her eyes glistening as she studied him. Some spark of something was happening, this time he was certain he could see it.
"You know me?" she said softly. "You do, don't you. I mean more than my name... Because I know you, just like the others." The last part was said hesitantly, as though she were afraid to admit it.
He suddenly understood. Whoever had done the midwipe hadn't been aware she was telepathic and empathic. "Yes, I do. I'm your father, Martis. My face looks different because I'm in disguise, but it's me, Tayo. Come, sit next to me, I'll show you."
She nodded, her eyes widening and locking firmly with his, then perched on the edge of the couch, her knees spread to accomodate her belly. She laid a protective hand over the baby, but her face was relaxed.
"You're a telepath - like your mother was. And an empath. That's why you've been recognizing people that you knew before you were put on this planet. Just relax, completely, do what you've been doing, but really listen. Someone did something to you to erase your memories. I'm going to show you some images, of you, and your other father, and your life before you came here. Is it okay if I hold your hand?" She nodded, and with his good arm he reached out and entwined his large fingers between her slender, paler ones. She gave a smaller gasp this time, and clutched him. His throat closed and he shut his eyes, taking a deep breath, then concentrated on visions of Voyager.
"B'Elanna, it'll be okay, you'll remember, don't worry," Tom said, feeling slightly inadequate in the face of his friend's seemingly uncontrollable tears. She was huddled in the corner of her couch, next to him. He had a memory of her on Quarra, keeping mostly to herself, sitting and sipping a single drink, each time she came to the bar. Not the woman he knew.
She sniffed and wiped her face. "It's not my memories that are bothering me, Tom. Though it's true, I can't put everything together yet. I'm still a little confused..."
"Well, what is it, then? Ken? We'll find him, 'Lanna, I'm sure he's fine. I don't remember him on the planet, but I don't remember seeing Greg, or Noah, either. They must have sent some of us to other parts of the city or something." He moved a little closer to her and laid a hand on her knee.
"Shit - that P'takh? I'll kill him the next time I see him," she muttered. Then she looked directly at him. "The Doctor told me I'm pregnant. Ten weeks." Tears started flowing down her cheeks again. "Can you believe it? Me?! Pregnant?!"
His reaction was purely emotional, too. He threw his arm around her shoulders and pulled, hugging her fiercely, thrilled beyond measure. Ken was going to be beside himself, he was certain. "That's terrific, just terrific," he said into her ear. She was crying freely again, but this time, he didn't mind. A little Torres-Dalby child to terrorize the ship - it would be great. A playmate for his grandchild. He could hardly wait to tell Chakotay.
After some more soothing, B'Elanna conceded that perhaps she might be an adequate mother, but only perhaps. Tom didn't push it, but, thinking work would be good for her even if they didn't need her so desperately, he dragged her to engineering. It was getting late, they were all getting tired, and they needed to put in a few more hours before trying for sleep.
Walking into the place, what he heard made his knees weak. Harry smiled at him and nodded. It was the voice of his daughter, and his husband, deep in conversation. He knew tears were welling and he didn't care. He absently wiped his eyes as he sat at a station and listened. B'Elanna was whispering to Harry, likely telling him the news because he hugged her just as fiercely as Tom had. Other than that, his attention was fixed firmly on two people down on the planet. The two that mattered the most to him. Who carried a piece of his heart in each of their own.
"I know him - he works in the bar. I thought I recognized him when I first saw him," Martis said quietly. "Him and the others -- but they all kept acting like there was something wrong with me, so after a while I just stopped asking."
"I'm sorry, honey, really. He's up on the ship right now, and he probably remembers everything about you. He loves you deeply. He's your biological father, you call him Da, my husband." Chakotay tried to keep his feelings about Tom in check, but was having some difficulty. She looked closely at him, so he quickly changed the subject. "Now - you remember the image I showed you of you and the man, where you're both wearing blue?"
She nodded.
"That man is your husband - his name is Noah Lessing. He's the father of your baby. Have you seen him?"
She shook her head and started to cry, and he reacted instinctively, pulling her to his shoulder. He winced at the pain, and she moved back sharply.
"You're hurt," she said quickly, wiping her eyes.
"Not badly - we'll deal with it in a minute. Tell me first why you were crying, please."
"Because everyone said that my baby was spoiled, because I wasn't married, and there was no father. I didn't think they were right, but I didn't have a husband, and I couldn't remember having a husband." Her gaze intensified. "Is Noah wonderful?"
He stroked her face, wishing he could give her all of her emotions, too. "Yes, he is very wonderful. He adores you, and was so excited when you conceived. And - your due date is right about now, Martis. So at the first sign of anything odd, you tell me, okay? I can't beam you up yet, because I need your help. Can you do that?"
"Yes," she stated, "of course I'll help." She smiled. "And I knew it. I knew he was coming soon, I just knew it. I told Kathryn, but she wasn't sure she could believe me, though she tried."
Chakotay's heart stopped. "It's a boy?" He had absolute faith that she could tell. A boy. Tom was going to go crazy. The deep ache in his chest returned.
She beamed at him. "Yes, it's a boy. I think he must look like Noah, because when I see him, he has dark fuzz on his head, and his skin is the loveliest shade of light golden brown. I never understood..."
He was suddenly exhausted, and let his head rest against the back of the couch. She tsk'ed at him and asked him where he was hurt, and what he needed. He sent her for water, and something to cut his clothes, and anything she had in the way of medical supplies. She waddled off as quickly as she could move.
"Harry," he whispered, "please tell Tom about his grandson." His throat closed again and he took a shaky breath. He had to keep it together for just another day. Just one more day, he figured, then he'd have it out with his husband.
When Martis returned, they worked on the wound in his shoulder. He could tell from the exploration of it that he'd really need a dermal regenerator, and asked her if she knew where to get one. There was a medical kit at the Central Power Facility, but she didn't know how to get in after hours. She thought perhaps Kathryn might help - especially since she was really the captain of the ship. Chakotay could see that Martis might be able to get through to the woman, but he let that topic drop in favor of a more urgent one.
He asked her about everything that had happened to her since she'd been on the planet. As she lovingly cleaned out his wound, she told him what she could remember. The infirmary, where she had been brought when she arrived. Dr. Ravoc and Dr. Kadan, diagnosing her with something they called dysphoria syndrome. She had received a daily treatment of anti-radiation serum for the first weeks, then it tapered to every other day, and now it was only once every four days. Ingeniously simple, really, he thought. Bastards.
"Kathryn's been letting me stay here," Martis said later, as she pulled down blankets and bedding for him. "She's not often here, she's moved in with someone she met at the plant." For a moment she looked pensive. "She really seems to like him, I hope she's not going to be hurt when we go back to Voyager."
Her assumption that they - he - would rescue them warmed him, but he acknowledged that the abrupt return could be hard on some people. He'd seen Crewman Tal starting to get close to someone she'd met, and Kathryn... once again, it seemed that Kathryn's personal happiness would have to take a back seat. Her face, smiling and relaxed, flashed in front of his eyes. She had seemed so happy. He found he couldn't answer Martis.
The door burst open, and the object of his thoughts rushed in. "Martis, sorry to disturb you so late, I just wanted to check that you were all right, and that the baby..." Kathryn's words tailed off. "You!" Her eyes flickered from Chakotay to Martis. Her voice hardened, and for the first time on Quarra, he heard the underlying captain's steel in her tone. "Leave her alone," she snapped. "If you've hurt her in anyway..."
"No, Kathryn." Martis hastened to reassure her, and moved to her side as quickly as her ungainly shape allowed. "He's my..." the hesitation was palpable. "Friend," she ended quietly.
Kathryn's defensive posture loosened slightly, hearing her words, but her eyes didn't leave Chakotay. "The authorities are looking for you," she said. "They say you had something to do with the disappearance of a woman from the plant earlier this evening."
Chakotay didn't hesitate. This was his best chance to convince her. Kathryn had trusted him without proof in the past, he hoped her instincts would surface over her reconditioning now. And he was warmed that she had protected Martis, it seemed the bonds of friendship were holding true. "That's correct," he said. "I did have something to do with B'Elanna's disappearance, but it's not how you think. I'm from a starship, Voyager is her name, and most of my crew -- including her captain -- were kidnapped and forced to work on Quarra. I'm simply working on returning them to their lives."
The name Voyager didn't seem to register with her, he noticed. She was listening to him, but there wasn't the jolt of reaction he had been hoping against hope would happen.
"Maybe they wanted to leave the ship." Her face was puzzled. "It's a good life here, some of us traveled many light years for the chance to work at the plant."
"I'm sure it is." He didn't waste breath arguing with her on that. "But my crew were kidnapped and have had their memories -- their knowledge of who they really are -- wiped by the authorities, just so that they have willing workers for their plant."
She smiled, the crooked corner twist he knew so well. "Come now, that's a little far-fetched."
"He's telling the truth," Martis interjected quietly. "Chakotay is the First Officer, and he's also my father."
She made the connection immediately. "Then you're from this ship too, what's it called? Venturer?"
"Voyager. And yes, Martis lives on board, as do one hundred and forty three crew. Voyager is from the Alpha Quadrant. We're trying to make our way back to Earth." He watched her closely, the emotions that flitted across her face.
"I'm from Earth..." her voice tailed off. She shook her head. "Really, this tale is too implausible..."
"You're Voyager's captain." He dropped the bombshell.
She laughed, but the sound was hollow, slightly forced. "Now I know you're lying. Martis, honey, come with me now, we have to alert the authorities..."
"No. He's telling the truth, and I can prove it to you."
"Tell me why I would want to wander the stars trying to get to Earth, when I have a full and happy life here?" Kathryn arched an eyebrow quizzically.
For a heartbeat Chakotay wished it really was as simple as that. But Voyager needed her captain, and he really couldn't imagine Kathryn Janeway being content with the mundane for long -- that was the mindwipe talking, not his captain.
"I'm telepathic," Martis was saying. "I can read minds. Chakotay's telling the truth."
"Oh?" She was curious, but the nervous twitch of her hand signaled her reluctance to listen. "That doesn't mean I'm from this ship."
"I can't prove that as easily," Martis admitted, "but I can tell you what you're thinking now. And then if you trust me, you'll believe I'm telling the truth. I've read Tayo's mind, I know he's right."
"Tayo?" Kathryn seized the small distraction.
"Chakotay. My father. Your First Officer."
Kathryn's eyes were doubting, her whole demeanor unsure. His confident, assertive captain seemed to have been washed away with the mindwipe. Chakotay's fists clenched. The Quarren had a lot to answer for.
"Can I hold your hand?" Martis groped for Kathryn's small hand without waiting for an answer.
"You don't believe Tayo," began Martis. "You're thinking that you can't possibly be the captain of a starship when you need help realigning power relays. You're scared. Tayo's story sounds familiar somehow, like you read it in a book and you're wondering why this is." She grasped Kathryn's hand a little tighter. "Your world's just tilted, and you're wondering if Jaffen is missing you yet. You want to get back to him, curl up with him in bed and let him love you. And you're wondering if he's cleaned up the apartment -- he spilled red wine on the carpet -- and if he's hidden your "ornaments" as he threatened earlier." She grinned. "I can't say I miss those burnt out power relays around here."
"Stop, please." Kathryn pulled her hands away, wrapped her arms around herself and began to pace. "I certainly believe you're telepathic. That was quite unsettling."
"I don't normally read minds like that," Martis said quietly. "I'm sorry, I had to make you see." She leaned forward, earnestly. "Can I tell you what I read in Tayo's mind before you came in?"
Kathryn flicked him a glance. "Go ahead." Her voice was low.
"He showed me Voyager, my quarters, the ones that I share with my husband, Noah. His quarters, that he shares with my other father. His office, your office -- your ready room, you call it. You wear a red and black uniform. He showed me you in a big chair on the center of the bridge. Tayo sits by your side. And other stuff too, images of the ship, the people who live in her. That dark man with the pointed ears at the plant, Tuvok, he's one of your trusted senior staff. They're all down here, Kathryn. And like you, none of them remember. Tayo's here to get them back."
Kathryn was silent. "I don't know," she whispered eventually. "I can't just put my life aside to believe the visions of a stranger. Although," she looked at him fully, and he was startled to see the glimmer of tears in her eyes, tears held firmly in check. "I feel I can trust you."
Martis stood. "Tayo's hurt. He needs a med kit. Can you tell me where to get one?"
Kathryn's chin came up firmly. "It's after hours, we can't get into the facility to get one. And I'm sure you don't just want to march into the medical facility and ask for help." She seemed to reach a decision. "Martis, honey, there's one that is easy to reach." Swiftly she gave her directions. "Hurry though," she added. "Curfew's in thirty minutes."
Martis nodded, and slipped out the door.
"I don't recognize you at all," Kathryn said quietly. "If you're who you say you are, if I'm the captain, then there should be something. Some flash of recognition."
"Wait." Grimacing slightly, as the movement tore at his injured shoulder, Chakotay carefully peeled off the Doctor's handiwork, revealing his own face.
"We're the same race," Kathryn breathed the words quietly.
"We're more than that. We're friends." He held his breath. He needed her to trust him, to make that leap of faith. "And I need your help." Swiftly, he explained about the shield grid, and how it was preventing them transporting out the crew.
"I don't know." The twisting of her hands betrayed her uncertainty.
She had a long way to move to acceptance, he thought, and his heart twisted as he realized anew that if he got the captain back, she would lose so much.
"Think about it," he urged. "But please, while you're thinking, don't alert the authorities as to my whereabouts. Can you give me that?"
She hesitated long moments, then nodded once, decisively. "Yes. I can do that for you."
"How was Martis?" Jaffen's expressive face was warm, smiling as he looked down at her.
Kathryn moved closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder as they sat on the couch. "Big," she said, even as she wondered how much to tell him. "I think she might be due soon."
"She's a strange one," he mused. "So intense for one so young. And no husband." He shook his head slightly. "Poor child."
"She has a husband." The words were out of her mouth before she could consciously think. Too late to take them back now, and anyway, simply saying them had coalesced her growing belief that Martis had spoken the truth. She couldn't put a finger on it -- Martis was her friend, and there was an earnest sincerity about the young woman that made Kathryn believe her when she had spoken about Noah. Martis really believed she had a husband, and Kathryn didn't think it was the bravado of a frightened and alone young woman. Martis, since she'd known her, had always seemed so quietly self contained -- which conversely had always brought out Kathryn's own instinct to protect, to nurture.
"She's a peculiar child. She speaks some strange things all told," saidJaffen, as his hand wandered down her side, to stroke her hip. "People are talking about her. They say she's not all there."
"I don't beleive that." Kathryn raised up, away from his distracting hands. "Jaffen, you know that fugitive the authorities are looking for?" At his nod, she continued. "He's her father. And he's here, looking for the crew of his ship. He says they were kidnapped and forced to work here. That their memories have been altered."
"And how do you know this?" Jaffen's face tightened.
"He's at my old apartment, with Martis. I promised I wouldn't alert the authorities."
"Kathryn, you must! Otherwise, when they catch him, as they're sure to do, you'll be implicated as well."
"No. I promised." She swallowed hard, knowing she had to tell him the rest of it. And what would that do to them? "Jaffen, there's more. He says that I'm the captain of this ship, Voyager."
"And do you believe him?" Neutral his tone, as if he were fighting hard not to shout.
"I don't know. But I have to find out -- if it's as he says then people have been forcibly removed from their lives."
"And you. If you're the captain of a great starship, then you'll be gone, back to wander the stars without me." He spoke lightly, but she caught the underlying seriousness in his words.
She tried to smile although the heaviness in her heart turned it into more of a grimace. "Right now, I don't know what to believe. But I know one thing -- I love you. Whatever - whoever - I really am, I do know that I'm happy with you." She turned her face up for his kiss. "Surely we can work it out?" She knew there was a note of pleading in her voice, she couldn't help it; he'd come to mean so much to her.
Later, as they lay in bed together, on the edge of sleep, she turned to him again. "I promised I would give them time, Jaffen. Can you do the same?"
He was silent for a moment and she imagined his eyes staring up at the ceiling in the dark. A sigh, and he stroked her hair, once, softly, lingering on the ends of it where it lay over her shoulders. "I'm not sure I like it," he said slowly. "But I'll hold my piece."
She lay awake for a long time, listening to the regular sound of his breathing, cataloging the soft moments of love, just in case.
Martis ran the regenerator over Chakotay's wound and he sighed in relief. The pain disappeared, replaced by the gentle tingle he was used to.
"Thank you, sweetness," he said, using the endearment automatically. Their eyes locked.
"I think I must have had a nice life on board Voyager, not just because of the things you showed me. I know that it's not just Noah, and Da, and Neelix who love me. " She continued the healing.
"You'll remember everything, as soon as we get home. I promise."
"I believe you, Tayo." She turned the instrument off. "There, it looks good. Now - before you fall asleep, tell me what the plan is for tomorrow."
He smiled. Martis was still the same headstrong woman; the Quarren hadn't been able to affect her in the same way as the others. He would still willingly kill whomever did this to them all, but he was also grateful that he was with her, could touch her, see her pregnancy, and feel the baby roll and kick his hand.
Being certain that someone in a position of power had to know something about the kidnapping of innocents to fill Quarra's need, he hoped that Martis's abilities could be used to Voyager's advantage. He still wasn't convinced that the officials he had tried to negotiate with were responsible. He'd never gotten the impression that they were hiding something, only that they didn't believe him and thought Voyager's acting captain was crazy. But the doctors in the infirmary were obviously on his short list of suspects. Were all of the doctors in on it? How far reaching was the conspiracy? Who could they trust to stop it so that no one else was abducted?
If Kathryn didn't disable the shield grid, it was even more imperative that they determine who could be trusted and who couldn't. He'd need the help of someone else on the inside if he had any chance at all of getting his people back.
Martis assured him that she'd be able to read the doctors, to figure it out. They made plans for getting into the infirmary during her lunch break the following day. He'd find some way to meet her there. Now that his disguise was gone, it was only the officials he'd spoken to who'd recognize him. Nobody in the medical facility would know he was wanted for stealing B'Elanna back.
"Would you mind if I slept here, with you?" Martis asked quietly, after they were done with details.
"No, not at all." He pulled the covers back and she rolled onto the mattress next to him, eventually getting comfortable on her side. She placed her head on his good shoulder and he sighed again as he draped his arm around her.
"Tell me what I was like when I was young."
He chuckled softly. "How much do you want to know?"
Tom looked around his bedroom one last time before falling back on the pillow. Harry was next to him, B'Elanna was next to Harry, and Neelix was on a Starfleet issued portable mattress on the floor next to her.
"Okay, does everyone have everything? Any more glasses of water, blankets, stuffed toys, earplugs, whatever?" he asked his friends.
A round of mutterings was the response, so he flopped down and turned on his side, draping an arm loosely on his best friend's waist.
"Good, because I want to hear this... And thanks to Harry, I can..."
Harry took Tom's hand in his and squeezed it. In gratitude for the body contact, in commiseration for what they were listening to. Chakotay was telling Martis about what she was like as a baby and small child. Her questions tied his stomach in knots, knowing what he'd been through and hating the Quarren bastards who'd done the same thing to his daughter and son-in-law. Earlier, he and Neelix had sat in Martis's old room and listened together, while the other two got ready for bed. Talking some about Kes and the woman her daughter had become, until B'Elanna had dragged them both to the bedroom, to join the impromptu and much needed sleep-over.
Tom was using Chakotay's pillow, letting the scent of the man relax him. He, too, was grateful for the body contact, even if three people didn't exactly fit in his bed. He didn't care and knew his friends didn't either. Nobody had wanted to spend the night alone.
In the quiet of the room, as everyone waited for sleep to come, Chakotay's soft voice floated around them. When he began to sing, Tom nearly lost it, as memories of this man holding Martis so gently and singing her to sleep came back almost too vividly. He remembered this song. About a man roaming the open prairies and forests of his homeland, searching for the key to his soul, eventually finding it in the wind-driven clouds of the sky. Tom could feel his throat closing rapidly, his breathing hitch, and Harry's hand clutching more tightly in response.
Then B'Elanna started to cry, and though she claimed it was only hormones, Harry let go of Tom to comfort her, and Neelix reached up and took her hand. The four of them settled again, and listened to the velvet voice sing, and let a small bit of peace help them drift off.
Chakotay could feel his daughter falling asleep, and he lowered his voice to lull her even further under. In the moments before she left entirely, her hand moved. Her palm gently covered his throat. She made a small noise of satisfaction and was out. He stopped singing, not only because she wouldn't hear any more, but because he couldn't get another sound past the lump that had formed. He would get them all back home to the ship, he vowed, if it was the last thing he did. "Good night, Tom," he whispered, and followed Martis.