Summary: C/P.
Response to Leone's "30 Days" challenge. Chapter
Two: Chakotay, in the future, makes a decision.
The admiral plays with the Temporal Prime Directive.
Copyright January 2002 Cassatt
Redux
Chakotay opened the transmission from Greg with reluctance. He had the feeling he knew what his friend was going to say. Sipping his tea, he watched the man he would willingly lay down his life for rip a strip off of him.
"Chakotay, you've got to go. I don't want to hear any more excuses. Pablo and Ken have both seen him. He weighs next to nothing and his clothes are so worn it's almost pathetic. He needs you...."
He hit the end interface and stood. And sat again. Then stood a final time and walked out of the room, through the living area and out his front door. He marched down the steps, across his yard to the field beyond his property. Kept right on walking until he was deep in the adjoining forest, until his steps finally slowed, until he sank down to his stiff knees and cried.
"He needs you..." The words rang in his head. He'd heard them before - many, many years ago. Then it had been Harry speaking, almost shyly. Pleading for the First Officer to go and speak to his best friend, lying on a bunk in the brig. His heart pounding, he'd gone. He'd sat next to Tom and tried to talk to him. Tried to ignore the azure eyes, veiled with pain. The same eyes that had looked at him with lust, and perhaps love, just a few weeks before. When they'd lost control for one night and made love repeatedly; hard, hot love, knee buckling, toe curling, heart palpitating sex.
But Tom had found out that the captain had ordered his little Monean vessel blown out of the water. And Chakotay had done nothing to stop her. He couldn't make Tom understand. Couldn't force him to see reality. He hadn't had a choice. He'd almost died, too.
"He needs you..."
Tom had ended the conversation by telling him that he'd never loved him, he'd only used him, to get back at B'Elanna. And though a part of him didn't believe the man, another part, a stronger part, gave up. Gave Tom what he wanted. His guilt. They'd never spoken about it again. Not about the incarceration, not about Chakotay's plea for leniency, and certainly not about their night together. Or their past.
"He needs you..." The words dulled in his mind. No, he thought, Tom doesn't need me. He's never needed me. It's been too long.
He dragged himself upright and took a deep, deep breath. Eventually he walked back toward the house, to send a reply to his best friend. To absolve himself of responsibility.
Kes. She'd been the heart and soul of Voyager, and to Kathryn's way of thinking, the one person who'd always been able to get through to Tom. Even more than Harry, for Kes wasn't afraid to tell Tom exactly what she thought of him. And even though Kes had sent them thirty thousand light years closer to home, her leaving had been one of the worst days in the history of their journey. Second only to the day she reappeared.
Kathryn's obsession centered around the decision Kes had made over having a baby. She'd come to the conclusion, at some point during the past years, that her role in that decision making process had been her biggest mistake. If Kes had had her baby, everything would have been different. She might not have left in the first place. And if she hadn't left, then quite likely Tom wouldn't have done what he did, with the Moneans. Kes would have seen to that, would have talked some sense into the young man's head. They might have even gotten married, for their attraction was fairly obvious to everyone. Neelix hadn't wanted a child. Even when he'd changed his mind, he seemed reluctant, really. Tom hadn't even been considered for fatherhood. What if that was the thing that could have affected the man's life, in a positive way? Played upon his sense of responsibility? If he'd had a child he never would have risked it all for the Moneans, for that matter. No father would.
And it had been around that same time that things had been set in stone between her and Chakotay. If she could go back and change that, too, who knows what would have been different. Their time together on New Earth would have been. She wouldn't tell him so unequivocally that she'd never get involved with anyone on the ship, aside from the fact that she was waiting for Mark. She'd leave things much more open-ended, leave herself some options.
Yes, it was at that time, when Kes' elogium had come on, that crucial decisions had been made. Her part in them was clear. What she needed to do to change them was clear as well. And now that the classified time travel technology was available to her, legally or not, she had a chance. To do what she could. To make up for her mistakes. To, hopefully, save more than one life.
Captain Kathryn Janeway sat in her ready room, reviewing data she'd been reviewing for hours already. Food stores, replicator rations, energy reserves. How to make this ship, meant only for short term, highly scientific explorations, last for the number of years it would take them to reach the Alpha Quadrant. She tried not to let it get discouraging, to keep optimistic, for she knew her crew needed that from her. They looked to her for leadership. And in this situation, possibly the situation they'd all spend the rest of their lives in, her unflagging belief would be the one thing that would keep everyone going. She was very clear about that fact. In the early hours of the morning, before the computer called for her to rise, she wasn't always that sure she'd be able to pull it off, however. Then she'd concentrate on Mark, her mother, her sister Phoebe, even her dog.
This week the energy reserves were their biggest problem. The gel packs were still doing their job, but their dilithium crystals were beginning to lose regenerative capacity. Just enough to be worrisome. She mentally pushed finding dilithium up to the top of their to-do list.
"Kim to Captain Janeway."
She tapped her chest. "Janeway here."
"Captain, there is a transmission coming in that appears to be from a Federation vessel," Harry said with barely disguised excitement.
Her heart leapt. "Patch it through."
"Yes, ma'am, Captain. Kim out."
She grinned for just a moment, hoping that some day soon Harry Kim would relax. Then her console beeped. She hit the interface quickly. And spilled coffee into her lap upon seeing the face to greet her. It was her own. Older, grayed, but very definitely her.
"Greetings, Captain. I hope I haven't caused you to lose your grip on that old coffee mug. Yes, you really are looking at me, or you, well - you know what I mean. I can't tell you where I am, or how I got here, but I am in the Delta Quadrant..."
Fifteen minutes later, thoughts of dilithium were completely forgotten. She downloaded the message to a data chip and left for her quarters, handing command officially over to her First Officer Chakotay, her heart still thudding gently against the walls of her chest.
~ *~ *~ *~
An hour later, she was at her private console, bypassing the ship's logs and sensors with her command codes, sending out a signal to open communications with a Federation ship from the future. Soon she was once again looking at herself, her list of questions firmly set in her mind.
"I thought you might want to discuss this further, Captain."
"I won't say that you know me too well, Admiral. But yes, my first question has to do with me. It's heartening to see that we made it home in time for me to make admiral. Can you simply tell me how many years our journey will be?"
"Kathryn, I'm surprised," the admiral teased. "You know the Temporal Prime Directive."
Kathryn stared at her. "Yes...and so do you. Yet here you are."
The admiral sighed loudly. "Yes, here I am. All I can say is that some things require drastic action."
"Kes having a child is a required, drastic action? I'm afraid I don't see it."
"I'm sure you don't - but remember, this has to do with Tom as well. And if you care about him at all, you'll do this. Convince them both..."
"I don't believe in convincing people to have children. That is their decision, and quite frankly, I'm mystified why you think Tom would be involved in any way."
"Let's just say there are things going on below decks that you are not aware of. How can I put this? Something happens to Tom, years from now, that he never recovers from. I don't know why it affected him so, I only know that I'm partly to blame for it. I do not think he would have gotten into the situation, had he and Kes had a child. I realize it doesn't make sense to you, but that's as much as I can tell you. Now - if you want to talk about Chakotay, that's another matter altogether."
Kathryn could feel her cheeks flame.
"You don't need to be embarrassed with me. I know how attractive he is. And he's there. And Mark's not."
"Yes, well. I don't need to give that a second thought. I don't have time. Not to mention that it would be improper."
"Oh, believe me, you'll give him a second thought. I'm only saying that you should consider your position carefully. There may come a time when being rigid about protocols will bite you in..."
Kathryn interrupted her. "Bite me? Is that the language of an admiral?"
The admiral laughed out loud. "I suppose it's not. But just think about it. Carefully. Now, I'll be here for another two days. Tomorrow, Kes will go into her elogium. Please, Kathryn, do your best. For both of them. For me."
"I'll try."
"Thank you. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Janeway out."
The beep signaled the transmission's
end. "Yes," Kathryn said quietly. "Janeway out."